Hello beauties!
I’m thrilled to share with you the Embraceable trailer, featuring me and eight of the book’s contributing authors. It was a blast to make, and well worth the learning curve. (I’ve never done anything quite like this!)
Special thanks to Gabe at Global Voice Broadcasting for making it shine. 😀
Stay tuned for news on the paperback and virtual release party—coming soon! Wishing you a fabulous weekend. ♥
August
Posted by August McLaughlin on February 4, 2016
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2016/02/04/your-sexuality-is-embraceable-a-book-trailer/
As y’all know, I spend a lot of time exploring what Girl Boners are and why they matter. I discuss them here and on my show, in articles and at events and have even asked strangers in LA what they think a Girl Boner is. (For a recap of that adventure, listen to my first Girl Boner® Radio episode or watch this video.)
Yes, I adore all-things-Girl Boners! Today I thought I’d clarify a few things a Girl Boner isn’t.
1. An invitation. As with all genders, being aroused doesn’t necessarily mean a gal wants or deems it wise to act on it sexually. If you want to know if a woman is turned on and sex-ready—a question I hear often—feel the situation out. Pay attention to her words and body language. When in doubt, ask her what’s she’s up for. Don’t assume.
*Related: check out this awesome video: Consent and Tea.
2. A flaw. Sexual shame is pretty universally common, but women are particularly prone to it for all sorts of reasons, from religious influences to societal messaging. And that shame hurts everyone. There is nothing shameful about your sexuality.
3. Only, or mostly, for others. I hear routinely from women who were taught early on that sex is something we give men. What year is this again?
Our sexuality is our own, first and foremost. If we decide to share it with another/others of any gender, great. If not, great.
4. Necessary. Yes, I LOVE Girl Boners with a passion—but I also realize that how often or intensely one experiences them has no bearing on her worth. If you’re asexual, for example, you’re just as valuable and embraceable as anyone else.
5. One-size-fits-all. Like our bodies, Girl Boners come in a whole range of—beautiful—shapes, sizes and styles. All folks experience turn-on uniquely, physically and emotionally. That is a seriously groovy thing.
Now THAT’s better.
***Stay tuned for details about Embraceable‘s virtual release festivities, taking place the first week of February! ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on January 9, 2016
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2016/01/09/girlboner-isnt/
Sometimes your mouth isn’t the only thing that blurts…
When I woke up to learn that Embraceable had officially hit Kindle shelves (woot!), a hilarious memory from Girl Boner® Radio came to mind.
I was sitting at the mic across from a very classy and prestigious guest. She wore the most designer clothes I’ve seen since my modeling in NYC days. Every detail of her appearance, energy and persona said chic. She’s an award-winning, celebrated pro, the daughter of a celebrity and has appeared on many major media outlets, most of which—such as Showtime and HBO—are far larger than GB.
Partway into our chat, I’d planned to share the trailer from a documentary about sex workers. When I hit play, something…else hit the airwaves. Soft…groaning sounds?
Odd, I thought. I don’t recall that part.
Though really, some sex noises would’ve made sense. I awaited the voice over describing the film. It never came, but, well, someone did.
The sounds quickly escalated to loud moaning then full-on YES, YES, YES! explosive orgasms. I leapt at the mute button.
“Hmmm…Wrong clip!” I smiled at my guest. “Gabe can fix that later.”
(The beauty of recording, rather than streaming, live.)
We jumped right back into our conversation. Later I’d confirm that we hadn’t been listening to the trailer at all, or even parts of the movie, but to people actually having sex—wild sex. The wrong clip had somehow been pulled, and we’d been ears deep in the hot and heavy. Had we continued listening, the sounds would’ve grown wilder.
It struck me later that I hadn’t been embarrassed about the fact I’d accidentally played sex sounds. Granted, my show is called Girl Boner®,and my guest was extremely sex-positive and open. But mainly, I hadn’t wanted her to deem anything about my work amateur or me as unprepared. My old acting instincts had kicked in: When mistakes happen, improvise. The show must go on.
Orgasm sounds? NO BIGGIE!
If you’d like to read Embraceable: Empowering Facts and True Stories About Women’s Sexuality, hop over to Amazon (CLICK HERE) to grab your Kindle copy. All of the proceeds benefit my work and advocacy to inspire women to embrace their bodies, sexuality and selves. Additional formats will be available soon!
To learn more about the book, check out my interview on Go Deeper Press. It’s a fun one!
Thanks so, so much for the ongoing support. I’m mighty grateful for all of you. ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on December 14, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/12/14/girlboner-funniness-and-embraceables-release/
At least I find them fun. I’m only slightly biased. 😉
Embraceable is currently being formatted for publishing. (Woo hoo!) I thought I’d celebrate by sharing some tid bits/teasers about the book.
♦ Susan Harper, PhD, who penned the foreword, is an educator, writer, activist and advocate for a variety of groovy causes, including LGBTQ equality, gender equality, partner and sexual violence prevention and healthcare equality.
♦ My memoir portion starts with an, um, bang—a literally climactic experience that changed my life.
♦ You’ll then read my “Does Dirt Have Calories” and sex ed stories, fleshed out (no pun intended) and in context.
♦ Numerous of the story contributors have uniquely spiffy jobs, including professional cuddling and sex work.
♦ Several authors (and their stories) are religious. Another wrote about escaping a cult.
♦ The story contributors range in age, from 20-something to 70-plus.
♦ Several women who either contributed a story or agreed to an interview with me requested anonymity for safety reasons, privacy or both.
♦ One of the contributors was married to one of the world’s best-selling authors of all time. (And that’s only one of many fascinating things about her.)
♦ Editing the stories (before passing them off to the awesome Mike Sirota for final edits) was challenging and rewarding. It was an honor—and, admittedly, nerve-racking—to hold women’s deeply intimate, personal stories in my hands, making changes I hoped would make them shine even brighter.
♦ A couple of the stories made me laugh out loud. Many are heart-wrenching. All of them inspire me.
♦ 100 percent of the proceeds will go to my work and advocacy to empower girls and women to embrace their sexuality, bodies and selves.
Embraceable will be available via Amazon and iTunes soon!
Posted by August McLaughlin on December 7, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/facts-about-embraceable/
“A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver.” — Thomas á Kempis
Last week I took a poll, asking Girl Boner® fans to share their favorite sexy or sensual gift they’d ever received. I was happily surprised when every response described a DIY gift.
The moral of the story? Set concerns over pricey purchases aside and focus on creative thoughtfulness this year, keeping your partner’s wants and needs in mind. Consider the following ideas, or come up with your own. Chances are, you’ll arouse the whole holiday season for you both.
A handmade satin blindfold
This idea comes from Dawn, who called this gift “delicious and used often.” Put your sewing skills to work by stitching a simple blindfold to conceal his or her eyes during sexy play. If sewing isn’t your thing, purchase a silky sleep mask to decorate with rhinestones or your lover’s name.
Sexy photos
This is one of my favorite gifts I’ve ever given, the experience of which ended up being a gift to myself as well. (Isn’t that how sexy gifts work?) Have sensual photos taken by a trusted photographer, or snap some erotic selfies to organize in an album or picture frame. If you’re concerned about privacy issues, check out my chat with Dr. Megan Fleming in part two of this Girl Boner® Radio episode for awesome tips!
Love oils and a massage
Several people told me massages top their sensual gift list. Prepare a sexy gift basket containing oil such as Good Clean Love®’s Indian Spice Love Oil. The natural, aphrodisiac-infused oil has a sweet and spicy aroma and is safe to kiss! Include a handmade coupon for a massage, and a pretty candle for ambiance.
A velvet bathrobe
Did you know that body temperature plays a major role in arousal? Rather than wait for foreplay to warm you up this winter, set the stage by keeping your lover warm from the get-go. A velvety bathrobe is “easy to put on, to take off and, umm…yeah, easy access,” said Silver. Talk about a triple win!
A sexy mix CD or playlist
In a study conducted by Spotify involving thousands of adults—about half women, half men—music was 40 percent more sexually enticing than touch. Wow, right? Indeed, tunes turn us on. Create a compilation for your partner, adding a handmade CD cover or song list.
Fantasies, come true
Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with your partner for decades, acting on your fantasies can increase fun and connectedness. Joe’s favorite gift? A 50th birthday threesome, “because f*ck midlife crises!” Kass’s husband surprised her with a new sex position she’d been dying to try. If you’re not sure what your partner desires, learn how to start the conversation in my chat with tantra educators Dawn Beck and Gerard Gatz.
More ideas:
For more ideas, read #GirlBoner Gifts: Super Sexy Stocking Stuffers.
For even MORE, listen to the latest on Girl Boner® Radio: Kinky Compassion + Sexy Holiday Gifts.
Thanks to Girl Boner®’s resident sex-pert, Dr. Megan Fleming, Trystology—makers of fabulous love and passion products—is offering you all a discount! Through the holidays, shop at Trystology.com, entering GIRLBONER as the promo code to receive 15% off your purchase.
What’s the sexiest gift you’ve ever given or received? Which of these ideas appeals most to you? I love hearing your thoughts! ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on December 4, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/sexy-diy-gifts/
When I revealed the cover for Embraceable last week, Facebook reminded me that my cover reveal for my first novel, In Her Shadow, took place exactly three years before that.
Kinda trippy.
Most everything else, however, was different in my professional life back then. There was no Girl Boner® blog, brand or radio show to speak of. I was focused on my first book release, with my second thriller-in-progress on the back burner.
“I’m going to write a novel per year!” I’d exclaimed numerous times, to which my then agent said, “Great plan!”
In order to build a lasting career, he and others told me my best bet was writing and publishing the next thriller, then the next, then the next.
My heart had other plans.
As the giddy euphoria and hectic-ness of my novel release settled, I honed in on finishing the sequel. I forced myself to plug along, feeling as though I were writing under water—which is quite an awful feeling for a hydra-phobe like me.
I kept recalling an epiphany I’d had several years earlier after an intensely erotic experience (which you can read about in Embraceable) that prompted me to think seriously about sexual empowerment—and, more specifically, my historical and other folks’ lack thereof.
Girl Boner… Girl Boner… Girl Boner…
Long one of my favorite terms used for inside jokes and flirtations, Girl Boner kept bouncing around in my thoughts. (Is anyone else digging that visual???) I had to do something about that term and all it stood for in my mind.
Here’s one of my favorite things about being a deeply sensitive person—as most artists are: We have a low tolerance for angst. What others might be able to brush aside as “no biggie,” we ache over. Cry over. Lose sleep over. Hopefully, at some point, we act. How else would we survive, much less thrive?
So act I did.
One morning I woke up, sat down to work on my novel and screamed at the top of my lungs said, “NO MORE.” That manuscript wasn’t the best place for my energy, I sensed, at least not then. If our hearts aren’t in our work, the work suffers, and so do we. My whole body seemed to exhale as my mind, soul and pen found synchronicity.
I would write a book called Girl Boner, I decided—a good girl’s guide to sexual empowerment. In effort to build a platform to hopefully attract publisher interest, I applied to trademark the term (holy difficult, but worthwhile process), then launched my blog series.
Since then, I’ve switched agents, written several book proposals, gotten praise and rejections from publishers, launched my show, began speaking publicly about all-things-Girl Boner® and decided to publish my first sexuality book (the soon-to-release Embraceable) myself. While I still have lots of growth to cultivate and work to do, I’ve never felt more authentic.
During what’s been an incredibly tumultuous time in the world, it’s easy to feel helpless. I sure have. But I also know at my core that we’re not. We can all make a positive difference by staying true to our paths and asking the right questions of ourselves to ensure we stay on it. This is a practice and a journey for me, something I’m not sure one can ever fully master to a point that the work is no longer necessary. Luckily, the work itself is an awesome reward.
When have you gone with your gut instead of listening to others’ advice? How did it pan out? ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on November 23, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/the-book-idea-that-took-over-my-life/
There is little as butterfly-sy and beautiful as a book release—especially when the subject matter practically is your heart. Or so I’m learning!
In the coming weeks, my first non-fiction book, Embraceable: Empowering Facts and True Stories About Women’s Sexuality, will be available. The e-book format will release first, followed by the paperback. To say I’m stoked is a ginormous understatement. (Hey, sometimes oxymorons work. ;))
I’m thrilled to share with you all the front cover, created by gifted artist and illustrator, Emily Ford:
Here’s how the back cover will read:
A provocative blend of memoir, anthology and inspiration, Embraceable is a celebration of women’s sexual empowerment. Learn how August McLaughlin, creator and host of Girl Boner®, found her way out of the sexual repression to which too many girls and women are prone. She then weaves research and inspiring facts around stories contributed by women who’ve cultivated sexual empowerment in their own lives—on topics ranging from asexuality, kink and burlesque dancing to religion, “slut”-shaming and surviving sexual assault. Learn what girls do (and don’t) learn in sex ed, the truth behind widespread damaging messages, the role body image plays in embracing our sexual selves and more.
Includes a foreword by Susan Harper, PhD and stories by:
Velda Brotherton Trish Causey Kitt Crescendo Elle the Author
Mona Darling Jean Franzblau Lana Fox Erica Garza Lea Grover
Lauren Jankowski M Nicole LaBonde Emily Linden Jann Robbins
Kendra Tanner Rachel Thompson Dani Longman Kelly Wilson
♥
Each of these women will be featured on Girl Boner® Radio over the coming months. Some you’ll recognize from earlier episodes. As I mentioned in my last post, they are all powerful examples of bravery in motion. I can’t wait to share their voices and stories!
Opportunity for bloggers:
Girl Boner® is all about conversation, and so is this book! If you’d like to participate in my Embraceable blog tour, please email me here—or directly, if we’re already email connected—sharing a link to your blog. Participating bloggers will send me 5 – 8 questions related to the book (nothing’s off limits!), for a fun chat-style Q&A post to publish on their blog during a designated week starting in January. As a thanks, you’ll receive a Kindle copy of the book upon release. I’ll also promote your post on social media and my blog. I have limited available slots, so please contact me soon, if you’re interested!
You really are, you know—EMBRACEABLE. ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on November 16, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/11/16/embraceable-cover-reveal/
Three years ago last week, I launched Girl Boner® on my blog. I heard a range of reactions when folks first learned of the series. “OHMYGOD, you’re doing porn?” asked one woman. (Um…no. But good guess!) “Girls get BONERS?” asked others. (Yep! Learn more here.)
Numerous others told me how brave I was for openly discussing sexuality. I appreciate that sentiment, trust me—but to me, Girl Boner® has always felt natural and exciting. So while I’ve certainly had my share of giddy butterflies along the way, I’m not sure brave is the term I’d use.
There are many definitions of brave: possessing or fearless, exhibiting courage, daring beyond discretion, to defy. To me, brave doesn’t mean an absence of fear, but moving forward in spite of it. A brave soul lets something greater than fearfulness drive them, often accepting scariness as part of the deal.
I’ll tell you about a time I really felt heroic.
I was in my early twenties, and had decided to turn my life around amid my struggle with a severe eating disorder. I’m not talking about the day I collapsed in Paris many of you are familiar with, but the morning I woke up after an intense binge, having consumed enough to feed a small family for a full day in one sitting. Stomach distended and palms sweating, I sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal, struggling to put spoon after spoon in my mouth, reminding myself of the commitment I’d made the night before:
I won’t let you live this way anymore… Try something new.
As I savored these banana pancakes and veggie sausage the other day, the ease wasn’t lost on me. #savoredeverybite
To end the binging/starving cycle and heal from the disorder that ruled my every moment, I knew I had to wake up that morning and eat a post-binge breakfast. No attempts to “compensate” through starving. No excessive, self-punishing exercise. Just…breakfast. The seemingly simple act billions of people around the world do daily without much thought seemed to shatter my heart that day, as much as it would begin to make it whole again.
Forcing thoughts of I love you…You’re going to be okay, I made it through the meal I, for once, hadn’t measured or over-analyzed, finding a smidgen of light on the other side. It would take months (upon months) of such efforts, but eventually the “love” I’d professed felt authentic and I wasn’t merely okay, but more vibrantly alive.
Not long after, I began to recognize the link between my body image issues and a lack of sexual empowerment, changing the course of my life and eventually leading me to Girl Boner®. I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened had I let E.D. win and skipped that meal that day. Sometimes it’s the seemingly smallest of steps that have the most profound impact.
I’ve had bravery on my mind a lot lately, much thanks to some very special women.
Very soon, I’ll release my first non-fiction book, Embraceable: Empowering Facts and True Stories About Women’s Sexuality. It features not only my own story of self, body and sexual embracement, but those of over fifteen other women who’ve fought their way to the same.
One common thread throughout the book is bravery. It’s tragic to me that embracing our full selves—including our sexuality—has become such a rare and bold act, particularly considering the devastation that can derive if we never do so. All of this, I feel, makes this book and these women’s stories particularly important.
I can’t thank you all enough for sharing in my Girl Boner® journey thus far, and hope you’ll stay tuned for more details on the book. In the meantime, as the incredible author Cheryl Strayed shared at an event last week—on Girl Boner®’s third birthday, as chance or fate would have it—stay brave! I’m cheering for each and every one of you. ♥
When have you felt brave? Has a seemingly “small” act made a huge different in your life? If so, I’d love to hear about it!
Posted by August McLaughlin on November 9, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/11/09/bravery-for-breakfast/
“Ultimately, sexuality and intimacy are about giving and receiving pleasure.” — Megan Fleming, PhD
Last year after speaking at the National Women’s Studies Association annual conference on ways the digital age affects how women feel about their bodies and sexuality, I hung around to take one-on-one questions. I quickly realized that the entire presentation could’ve easily centered on one of my sub-topics: porn.
“My boyfriend uses it every night and I feel weird about it,” one woman said. “I feel guilty about that—and a little prudish.”
No one is “prudish” for having concerns about porn. It’s common to have mixed feelings about it, especially in a culture with messages around sexuality just as mixed.
“I’m all into visual sexual expression,” said another, “but why is porn so violent and over-the-top?”
Thankfully, it’s not! If you like the concept of porn but find the content offensive, I highly recommend feminist porn as an alternative. The genre dedicated to gender equality and social justice doesn’t demean women, or anyone. IMO, that’s dang sexy. I’m also a big fan of Cindy Gallop’s efforts to bring authenticity into sexy TV. (You can hear my interview with Cindy here.)
So how do you know if porn is detracting from your life or relationship(s)? I couldn’t think of a better resource to explore this than Girl Boner®’s resident relationships expert, Dr. Megan Fleming.
Check out this short video I recorded during my recent NYC visit. You may recognize the audio from the latest Girl Boner® Radio episode. In this excerpt, Dr. Megan answers two common questions about porn-use, including one of the above. I have a feeling you’re going to love what she has to say.
Stream the full episode, which also features my chat with adult star Moe “the Monster” Johnson, on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or my homepage.
How has porn affected your sex life? Any questions of your own you’d like answered on Girl Boner® Radio? As always, I welcome your respectful thoughts! ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on October 10, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/askdrmegan-when-is-porn-use-a-problem/
“She wins who calls herself beautiful and challenges the world to change to truly see her.” — Naomi Wolf
Most articles on choosing the right shoes for your feet aim at managing problems caused or worsened by high heels, or athletes, who tend to care more about their extremities than the average Joanne. One thing my #HeelFree campaign has taught me is that foot care is an invaluable form of self-care. We should all prioritize it.
Back in my acting and modeling days, I was a leg double for a film actress in a photo shoot. I spent hours walking up and down a runway in shoes that were too small and narrow for my feet—which haven’t been the same since. Shoes that don’t fit aren’t worth it (even if you’re being paid to wear them).
Size is only one important consideration while shoe shopping. Stop by an athletic store or see a podiatrist for a proper fitting. If you have high arches, you need a flexible shoe with good cushioning, says sports physician Dr. Low Wye Mu. If you have flatter feet, you need greater arch support and stability. If you have bunions you’ll need a roomier toe box, and all shoes should fit comfortably—while you’re sitting, standing and walking.
Women are encouraged to have fittings for bras, dresses and even jeans—yet our shoes, apparel that play a significant role in our safety and well-being, get little attention…until something bad happens.
If you really want to prevent or manage foot and body pain, keep your body in proper alignment and guard against heel-related injuries, such as sprains and fractures, and chronic conditions, such as bunions and osteo-arthritis, you’ve got to stick to supportive shoes. If you simply can’t let go of taller, angular shoes yet, shift to lower heels. While you’re at it, limit time wearing them. (To learn more about high-heel risks, click here.)
While they don’t offset your alignment or bring as much pain as heels, flip flops aren’t the safest or most supportive bet either. Don’t make flip flops, ballet slippers and anything that strips of material tied on with string your regulars. Wear them around the house, if you’d like. Take your flip flops to the beach. For other daily activity, stick to more supportive options such as quality flats, walking clogs or sandals, athletic shoes and heel-free boots.
Very often, we get what we pay for in the shoe department. In some cases, lower prices brings the greater risk. A recent study showed that women have an average of 20 pairs of shoes. I’d rather have five or six pairs of sturdy, comfy shoes that cost a bit more than loads of cheap, potentially hurtful ones. Find deals by shopping the clearance section of athletic and quality shoe stores. (These shoes are often simply last season’s model, and still great quality.) As a bonus, quality shoes last far longer. The investment will pay for itself over time.
The turquoise number are Pasadena Drea sandals by Dansko—love them!
No matter what your shape, size or height, you can look and feel sexy in ultra-supportive shoes. (Shut up, society. You’re wrong.) To do so, you’ve got to shop for shoes that bring you joy, says motivational stylist Rayne Parvis of Style by Rayne. “If you’re going to go out and buy cheap flip flops, they’re not going to bring you joy,” she said on Girl Boner® Radio last week. Choose styles and prints you love, she suggests. Dress in color and start seeing your own beauty precisely as you are.
To learn more about #HeelFree fashion and ways to feel sexy no matter what your height or size, listen our chat here or watch the video below. The episode also features Shannon Hammer, a healthy living advocate who overcame decades of disordered eating.
What’s your favorite pair of comfy shoes? How much time and consideration do you invest in foot care? What’s your favorite way to nurture your feet? I love hearing from you! ♥
Posted by August McLaughlin on September 9, 2015
https://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/5-ways-to-choose-the-best-shoes-for-your-feet-heelfree/
Girl Boner
Girl Boner 