Ever feel like this?
One moment you’re enjoying a casual conversation. A beat later, your hand flies to your mouth—as though covering it might erase the inappropriate words it emitted or prevent further damage. But, it’s too late. The person before you blushes a deep magenta, turns sheet-white or worse.
Yes, blurting can be damaging to ourselves and others. And trust me, I’ve experienced enough of both. I’m happy to say that maturity, practice and mindfulness have minimized my own blurting risks immeasurably. But I don’t think all blurting is bad. In researching for this post, I realized there are very few—practically zilch—positives about blurting on the web. So I thought I’d open my big mouth blurt some out myself.
Blurting is honest.
Having grown up in the midwest, where concealing potentially hurtful truths is often the norm, I appreciate honesty big time. Given the choice, I’ll take a Simon Cowell-like critic over a “nice” one any day. When ultra-honest people share feedback, we can trust it, often allowing us to grow. While speaking our minds continually and around certain people can be hurtful, blurting helps keep us from bottling feelings up. (If you’re not a blurter, or a recovering one ;), I recommend morning pages or therapy as useful ways of getting things off your chest.)
Blurting can reduce stress.
Yes, blurting can also cause stress. But letting thoughts fly in private, out loud can provide crazy awesome stress relief. Back in my acting days, my coach suggested we get all of my frustrations out before auditions by yelling them out in our cars. By clearing the brain, we end up more relaxed. Just make sure you’re well out of others’ hearing range, unless you’d prefer to scare passersby away.
Blurting can be FUNNY.
In hindsight, and sometimes straight away, sharing un-premeditated thoughts can provide hilarious entertainment. Here is a personal example, in honor of National Underwear Day.
I was living in New York, working in the fashion industry, when one of my roommates convinced me to out clubbing. We’d both participated in a lengthy photo shoot featuring Calvin Klein undergarments. She was sick of seeing me sitting around reading on Friday nights, and I was sick of her pleads. Plus, we had a few takeaways from the shoot—a serious rarity—and our makeup and hair was already party-ready done. So why not?
We ended up at a lounge-type-club in midtown, chock full of NYC’s hottest socialites and swooning jazz music with a subtle techno beat. I spotted a familiar face across the room and filled with enthusiasm—none other than Mr. Klein himself! (Normally I don’t think much about designers, but CK is one of my faves.)
I rushed toward him. The moment the music dropped to near-silent, I blurted, “I’m wearing your underwear!” at the top of my lungs.
My roommate whisked me aside, but not before I caught distasteful looks from CK’s entourage. Mr. Klein himself seemed borderline amused. My roomie, not so much.
On the happy side, I left with a funny story (perhaps CD did, too) and my roommate never pestered about clubbing again.
Also in honor of National Underway Day, the “undies” in this photo are made out of film strip. Not remotely comfy, FYI.
For more undie fun, check out these fab posts:
Jenny Hansen: Undie-Shooters Have Made the WANAPanties Parade List!
Natalie Hartford: Urban Word Wednesday: Panty Anthem
Julie Glover: Panties? Skivvies? Bloomers? Words for Underwear
For a thoughtful post on making things right after hurtful remarks, read Lisa Hall-Wilson’s post, How Sorry Are You?
So…blurt away. 😉 What hilariousness have you experienced thanks to you or someone else blurting things out? What are the wackiest undies you’ve worn?
Girl Boner 
Joe Bunting
/ August 16, 2012Good advice, August. I’m not much of a blurter, but this might challenge me toward more honesty. Thanks. And amazing story, as always.
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Lovely to hear, Joe. Thanks for popping by. 🙂
Joe Bunting
/ August 20, 2012Of course! Sorry I’ve been absent lately. I recently found out your posts were sadly making their way to my spam filter. I was annoyed.
Amber West
/ August 16, 2012I love that you said that to CK. It was the perfect blurt.
The hubs is from the West Coast and I’m from the Northeast. We once had a discussion about the differences between people from the two area. He commented that people from my area were meaner. I explained that wasn’t true. We are just brutally honest – blurters, if you will – while the West Coasters smile to your face and then wait to say what they think when you are gone. 😉
But seriously, I do find that blurting is great – but I try to do it in a fashion that keeps the collateral damage to a minimum.
The CK blurt? That is just the way my sister operates on a daily basis. And people love her for it.
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012I loved the overt honesty in New York. And I prefer the truth in my face over gossip behind my back, too.
I have friends here in LA who gossip, and I always wonder what they say about me when I’m not around… I’ve asked some of them, and usually just get strange looks. Needless to say, we tend not to be the closest of friends. I understand the intention of not wanting to hurt feelings, but find hidden remarks more hurtful.
Happy to have a fellow blurt-supporter! 😉
Amber West
/ August 16, 2012Glad you get it. I’d rather know what people think (even if it’s not favorable) than to wonder. 🙂
susielindau
/ August 16, 2012I have been known to blurt especially after a glass of wine.
I grew up in the Midwest and appreciate their manners. I am still not used to the “in your face” rudeness I sometimes encounter out here in the West. Blurting is fine with me as long as it is not hurtful. 🙂
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! Yes, alcohol helps. 😉 Can’t blame that for my CK experience…
It isn’t always easy to know where that hurtful line is, but I think seeking the positive in life and people helps. We then have few rude things to say. 😉 That may be a midwest thing, too.
Susan
/ August 16, 2012An undies post. Love it 😀
Carrie Rubin
/ August 16, 2012As long as the undies were clean, I think you’re all right. 😉
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! Well said, Carrie. 😉
Myndi Shafer...one stray sock away from insanity.
/ August 16, 2012I’m the queen of the awkward blurt. You know in the movie Anchorman where Steve Carrell’s character blurts out “I LOVE LAMP!”? Put me in a out-of-the-norm situation (like clubbing) and my IQ drops about a hundred points and I babble randomly, punctuated by giggles. It’s frightening.
On another note, I totally appreciate honesty, but I really think there’s a difference between tactful honesty and full-out rudeness. Just because a thing is true doesn’t mean it has to be delivered with a bluntness that hurts the listener. I trust, and respect, tactful honesty.
Love this post! UNDERWEAR!
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! Sounds like me daily after 9pm. We should party together, Myndi. I can just imagine the fright, I mean fun. 😉
I think you’re right about the difference between honesty and rudeness. Intention and tone play a big role…
Holly Michael
/ August 16, 2012Love your blog and this post, too! I’m a blurter too…though like you said, age and maturity has curbed me a bit.
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Thanks, Holly! And thank goodness for maturity. 😉
coleen patrick
/ August 16, 2012That’s a funny CK story! I’m not much of a blurter (now anyway, I’m sure I did my fair share when I was younger), but you’ve got me thinking about the honesty thing. It’s definitely a balancing act between filtering and remaining genuine. 🙂
Jenny Hansen
/ August 16, 2012Oh, I’m a blurter from wa-a-a-ay back. However, I’ve gradually learned that nobody wants to hear all the crap running around in my head. (So now I just blog.)
Love the idea of you telling Mr. Klein that he was covering your girly parts. You go, girl!
Thanks for the fabulous contribution to the Blogging Panty Parade. 🙂
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Lucky for us, Jenny, if blurting less means more of your blog. 🙂
BPP—the best parade in town!
dianasschwenk
/ August 16, 2012Hahaha! This is priceless and hillarious – thank you for my Thursday laugh, I needed it!
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Aw, happy it helped! 🙂
Lena Corazon
/ August 16, 2012Oh man, that CK story is absolutely fantastic! I used to be a huge blurter as a kid, and it *always* got me into trouble, so I learned how to button my lips, maybe a little too well. Now I’ve got to work on being a little less filtered, lol.
Great post, August!
amyshojai
/ August 16, 2012Ooooooooooooh blurt-icity, my peeps! I’ve actually gotten better about that. It’s why I’m a writer first, I think–I get to edit schtuff before I hit “publish” or “send.” *s*
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012I wonder if writing has helped many of us blurt less. We get so many words out on the page, where we can edit, the urge may be fulfilled. Then again, my fingers occasionally get blurt-crazy, too. 😉 Hmm…
jansenschmidt
/ August 16, 2012My blurting always seems to be in the form of sarcasm, which isn’t always interpreted that way so I just come off as bitchy. Sarcasm is rarely interpreted correctly in written form. I have to be really careful what I type because readers cannot hear the tone of my fingers and my words have gotten me into trouble.
I can’t recall any interesting or funny underwear stories except one time after a pretty intense dress rehearsal of the show Nunsense II (which is a play with only 5 women characters). We had all been wearing our full habits, tights, veils, wimples, etc. (in August) and were blistering hot by the time we finished. My husband was the director and he kept yelling at us to hurry and change so he could give notes before we went home. We were all really tired and super hot so we just took off our costumes and went out on stage in our underwear. My husband was mortified but we didn’t care. We just said, “you told us to hurry.” I think there might even be some pictures floating around some where.
So that’s my funny underwear story.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! Fantastic story, Patricia. I didn’t realize you were an actress—very cool. Nunsense is a fun show, and no doubt more fun sans outer wear. 🙂
jansenschmidt
/ August 17, 2012I’ve done community theater for over 20 years. I love it! I haven’t done too much since I started writing because it’s sooooo time consuming, but I will audition for a show that’s near and dear to my heart. And Nunsense is one of my favorites. I played Sister Amensia in both Nunsense and Nunsense II. It was a kick in the pants!
Patricia
Tameri Etherton
/ August 16, 2012That is one of the funniest blurts I’ve ever heard! I’m a total blurter, that’s why we have codewords so I’ll know when I’ve crossed a boundary. At RWA it was, ‘Dragon!’. I usually ignored it or didn’t hear when people were saying it to me, but at least we had fun saying it. I can’t believe I’m almost 50 and I’m still trying to figure out the whole blurting thing. Sometimes, though, it’s totally fun. Like your CK moment. I bet he remembers you!
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ah… So you give other people code words. Smart. I’d probably blurt my way through them, too, but not a bad idea if things get intense. 😉
Shannon Esposito
/ August 16, 2012Ha! Well, at least you didn’t show him! LOL That’s a great story. I’m pretty good about not blurting, except I am noticing it’s a little harder to control as I get older.
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! I call that self assuredness, Shannon. Blurting bodaciousness must crystalize with age. 😉
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
/ August 16, 2012Alas, I’m more of a “show-er” than a blurter.
Like: “You have a tattoo? Let me show you my tattoo!”
And then my pants are down around my ankles.
Yeah. A whole new side to show not tell, eh?
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012LOL! Physical blurts. Showing not telling may be more beneficial in writing. Nah, scratch that. I like your tattoo story too much.
Mark Koopmans
/ August 16, 2012Not much of a blurter – these days – but No. 1 Son (age 5) takes care of the family’s blurting needs… (“Papa, did you fart?” – in aisle #5 of grocery store) or (“Papa, Ms. Amy’s house is messy like ours” – as I pick him up from a playdate *at* Ms. Amy’s… sigh.)
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Priceless, Mark!
Stacy S. Jensen
/ August 16, 2012Love the undie moment. Oh, I blurt. I blurt a lot. 🙂
Ingrid Schaffenburg
/ August 16, 2012Hilarious! That’s SO something I would’ve done. I’ve learned to take a breath before blurting things out but I totally believe in speaking your truth (having also been raised in a non-confrontational family.) People may not like it but they’ll respect you for it.
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Well said, Ingrid. I’ll keep that respect bit in mind next time it happens. 😉
Main Street Musings Blog
/ August 16, 2012Wait . . . we’re both wearing his underwear?
patriciasands
/ August 16, 2012BAHAHAHAHAHA!
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Ha! No wonder it’s so hot…
patriciasands
/ August 16, 2012Your CK blurt is an award-winner! My younger sister-in-law has been a champion blurter all of her life. She is often unintentionally very politically incorrect and yet somehow never offends. Everyone loves her. Truly an art form!
Karen McFarland
/ August 16, 2012LOL, August, that is one of the funniest blurts I have ever heard of. Thanks for sharing that one girl! You must have wanted to hide under a table. You my dear have great timing! 🙂
jmmcdowell
/ August 16, 2012I’m a fellow Midwesterner who still hasn’t learned to blurt in public. Although I will do my share of ranting and free speaking when no one else is around. But I agree—I’d much rather hear honest criticism of my work than feigned praise or silence.
mgedwards
/ August 16, 2012August, you’re wearing film strip! Oops, sorry, that blurt just came out. Inside words should stay inside. 😉
Nigel Blackwell
/ August 16, 2012LOL! What?! You post a picture wearing only film strips and hope to distract us by talking about … er, whatever it was you were talking about??? Come on, we need the full story behind that photo 🙂
Cheers!
August McLaughlin
/ August 16, 2012Well no one asked. And aren’t we writers supposed to show, not tell? 😉 Inserting that photo was a last minute visual blurt, as I was skimming my files. But here’s the story:
A designer won a contest to have her film fashion displayed on a magazine cover. She fitted them to me and another model/actress a few years ago. This involved tape, plastic scrape discomfort and lots of standing around in frigid air. Not very glam, but heck. They got their shot. Lucky for me, it wasn’t water proof. I only enter the ocean with floaties.
Nigel Blackwell
/ August 16, 2012Ha, good story. I can certainly see why 35mm film hasn’t caught on as a clothing material! Isn’t it amazing how many times someone has a photo shoot and it’s freezing?
Cheers!
Kourtney Heintz
/ August 16, 2012I am a fan of honesty. It’s nice to share what you really thing. Most of the time I do that behind closed doors with trusted friends. I hate when someone asks me what I think in a public forum, because I have to decide what I really think and then spin it to an appropriate answer–that’s tiring. I have been known to blurt when nervous or exhausted. I love your Calvin Klein moment. That’s awesome. 🙂
Running from Hell with El
/ August 16, 2012I giggled a few times today thinking about your undies story, especially when I was shopping at Kohl’s and tried to pick out underwear without too much “help” from my son. I gave up and let him choose the color, so for the first time in my life, I have purple underwear.
Sigh.
I like hearing about your anecdotes. It seems to me like you’ve had all these adventures and done all these cool things. I bet this makes for fascinating story-telling.
August McLaughlin
/ August 17, 2012Purple underwear? I love it.
Thanks for the sweet words, El. Being an adventure/dream seeker certainly makes way for good stories, making the “bumps” worthwhile. Have a feeling you can relate. 😉
Louise Behiel
/ August 16, 2012I’m a notorious blurter. I worked very hard at learning to be honest. but the result is that my filters are gone. it’s a good thing for me after many years of impression management.
Daphne Shadows
/ August 16, 2012Yeah but you rock that film strip.
I try to think before I speak. Sometimes that doesn’t work and I just try to let it go. No point fussing over it – I can’t take it back. 😉
August McLaughlin
/ August 17, 2012Very wise, Daphne!
Lynnette Conroy
/ August 17, 2012I love the Ck story. I am SO bad with the blurting thing. I often get myself into trouble. Probably the worst time was at work, in a full staff meeting. Boss had been talking at us, a familiar diatribe, but he tossed out the question ‘so why are we losing money?” In retrospect, I’m pretty sure this was a rhetorical question, a lead in for something else. But I jumped in and blurted, ”Cause you spend money like a remedial math student!”
I have a serious problem with my internal edit button.
And the Twitter feed that resulted from this killed me so much that I made WANA panties online at a custom shop and passed the link to Julie Glover and Jenny Hansen.
Thanks!!
Gloria Richard Author
/ August 17, 2012LOVE the CK story and I can’t wait to visit blogs today, August.
Back-in-the-day I had my worst brain
fartmalfunction at a cocktail reception for major clients. One of my faves — a really nice guy — had a minor stutter. Didn’t bother him. Didn’t bother me. He approached me and said, “G-g-g-g-loria! How are you?” My response? “F-f-f-fine. How are you?”He didn’t seem to notice. I blathered. He remained a loyal client. Phew! Dodged that cliche-alert bullet!
August McLaughlin
/ August 17, 2012Aw… That story made my heart ache. I can totally imagine being in your shoes. So happy to hear he didn’t notice and you’ve stayed on good terms.
katmagendie
/ August 17, 2012Made me laugh! 😀
Lawd – I used to blurt things all the time when I was younger – “open mouth insert foot” – I’m more careful now. I tend to be a honest person, but I’m also hyper-aware of hurting people’s feelings, so that combo makes me one silent woman most the time *laughing*
Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2)
/ August 17, 2012Love the CK story – at least you didn’t shout “I got shot in your underwear this morning!”
I’ve blurted a bunch in my youth, but now it’s more trying to say what I mean and mangling it anyway. That’s why I write – I get to edit!
Natalie Hartford
/ August 17, 2012ROLF!!!!!
Love it!!! Seriously, happens to me ALL the time. Even this morning, someone asked me a question and I just blurted out a very honest answer. We were both sort of surprised and I followed up with “was that my outside voice???”
It sucks when it happens and I accidentally offend or insult someone because those are never my intentions. So I’ve had to apologize a time or two for missteps but for the most part, my blurts are hilarious and total entertainment so I embrace them!
Thanks for the uberlicious shout out and taking part in NUD celebrations and BPP!! SQUEEE
P.S. film strip does not sound like comfy undie material IN THE LEAST!
P.P.S. I am wearing CK as well! LOL!!
Subhan Zein
/ August 17, 2012hahaha, the CK story is an awesome tale. Well done!
When I saw your picture above, I blurted, “Wow, is that August? She’s hot!”,
and then you say, “So.. blurt away”, sorry, but I hope you wouldn’t think this inappropriate; I’m just speaking my mind.
Anyway, have a great weekend, August! 🙂
Subhan Zein
Debra Kristi
/ August 17, 2012That blurt is priceless! And I bet you made an impression few have made on CK. 😉 Hehe. I am guilty of the blurt. But I don’t believe any of mine are as brilliant as yours. Mine can land me in deep pucky with the hubby. LOL.
Marcia
/ August 18, 2012Hilarious story with CK! When I was younger, I blurted from time to time and it always made the situation awkward. I learned to take a breath before saying what’s on mind to decide if it might get the wrong reaction. I learned to like keeping certain thoughts to myself–like the cat who swallowed the parakeet. 🙂
Raani York
/ August 18, 2012*grin*
August, this blog post is just cool! I blurted at many situations, I’m afraid. – Too often I have embarrassed myself and others and I therefore got more careful when I got older. I never want to hurt anyone (including me) – and even though sometimes it can be funny, the danger is always there… *sigh*
My undies… (sigh*) – I’m afraid I had a few sets of raccon-underwear – and believe it or not – wore them once when a situation got quite hot… thank God the thought of what I was wearing that day stopped me to make a huge mistake.
Means: wacky undies that day saved me. LOL
carolyn
/ August 19, 2012So much fun… I love this… and I have had a couple of these “I’m wearing your underwear” experiences also…I love this about writing, how something can be shared and maybe the situation isn’t the same but the experience is universal! Thanks for this!
Chris Edgar
/ August 19, 2012I now surround myself with people who, I guess you could say, practice “conscious blurting” — saying how we’re feeling in each moment, and trying not to make it a criticism but rather just an expression of our own experience — and it’s created a much richer life for me than the one I used to lead, which was characterized by talking for the sake of avoiding silence, telling white lies, avoiding important subjects for years, etc., etc.
Nisha
/ August 22, 2012Ha ha, August thank you for giving me such a good laugh. I demand more posts on undies! 🙂
EllieAnn
/ August 23, 2012Oh my gosh. hahaha! That is the perfect blurt. What a fun story. Let’s hang out sometime. =)
fivereflections
/ August 30, 2012“…Having grown up in the midwest…”
Interesting, what area?
August McLaughlin
/ August 30, 2012Thanks for the well wishes. 🙂 I was born and raised in Minnesota. How about you?
fivereflections
/ August 31, 2012for some reason, i thought you were from the city of Philadelphia. i was born in Maryland.
fivereflections
/ August 31, 2012I should have remembered:
“…My dad is a Minnesota Viking…”
The Guat
/ August 30, 2012Hanging out at Susie’s Blog Party and thought I would check out your funny post … and you’re right it was funny. Blurting out things can usually be hilarious on my end…nice post.
Maria Cisneros Toth
/ September 25, 2012Funny chonies (Spanish slang for undies) story! I’m a blurter and so are some of my critique peeps. It makes for good chemistry & a fun meeting! And we’re productive, too. Though, the one guy in our group does blush from the things we blurt sometimes. But we’re like his sisters, so I guess it must be all right since he’s been a member of our group for nearly 10 years.