“I’m blunt? Oh, yeah…” What Has Your Blogging Mirror Taught You?

It’s tough to recall exactly when I started blurting, but I suspect it coincided with another milestone: the day I started speaking. According to my parents, one of my earliest emerged when I wasn’t yet two. My mom had just broken the news that I could no longer sip from the Bosom Bar because she was pregnant with another, which would turn our family of five into six.

“So you’re going to be four mommies?” I asked, pondering the upcoming NKOTB. (Don’t pretend you don’t know what that means.)

“Yes.”

“Well, there’s only one daddy, and he’s all mine.” I swear I’m not a sociopath. A bit envious back then, sure, but not conscience-less. (Thank goodness. I’ve been researching the heck out of sociopathology for an upcoming radio episode.)

When I learned the other morning that Girl Boner is a finalist for Best Blunt Blog in The Indie Chicks’ Badass Blog Awards, I was crazy-honored, but also surprised. Sure, I’m prone to blurting, but… I’m blunt?

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Our blog-mirrors sure tell us a lot! #bluntandproudofit

For some reason, I correlated “blunt” with rude comments, like my toddler-remark had it been said by a mature adult. Back then, I had that cute-cuz-I’m-a-kid thing going on. Then I thought about it.Blunt can mean harsh, but it can also mean uncompromisingly forthright, direct and to the point. (Thank you, Webster!)

Hmm…

I have talked a lot about clitorises, my brain-gasm MRI, bralessness and ex-partners. And if there’s one thing #GirlBoner isn’t, it’s subtle. (Call me crazy, but I don’t think #ExcitedDownThere has the same ring to it.) Subtlety wouldn’t get me anywhere in a culture in which innumerable obstacles stand in the way of female sexual embracement, keeping way too many women from living full, authentic lives—often with little, if any, knowledge that it’s happening. Not because they aren’t brilliant, but because of the world we live in.

See? There I go again. #NotSorry Partly because maintaining this blog helped me embrace myself further. It’s also shed light on who I actually am—which is rather key to the whole living authentically thing.

That’s one of the most beautiful things about blogging: the mirror it provides us. When I first started, I worried that readers would deem me a perplexing ping-pong ball. “I’m all over the place!” But you know what? None of us are as bouncy as we may think. Common threads appear when we let the words flow—or, in my case, dart. If we don’t stand in their way, we never know where they’ll lead.

That doesn’t mean everyone should write about clits and brain-gasms, of course, or anything controversial. What’s important is being who we are, out loud, without crippling fear over what others will think. Blogging unapologetically has literally changed my life, leading to everything from incredible friendships to my radio show and speaking gigs. This week, it led to this groovy award nomination.

I’m so, so grateful.

When I told my mom about the nomination, she started giggling and singing, “Everybody blurts (hurts), sometimes….” LOL Surely, I got my blurt-gene from her. Anyhow, if you’d like to vote for me—or anyone!—use this link:

Blog Awards: Vote for the Finalists! #ICBBAwards

I also highly recommend subscribing to the publication while you’re there, and liking/following them on Facebook and Twitter (@TheIndieChicks). While you’re there, wish them a happy birthday! They’re celebrating three years of empowering awesomeness. Huge congrats to my pals Jess Witkins and Aussa Lorens for being nominated as well! So well-deserved. ♥

What has blogging taught you about yourself? What’s the biggest blurt that’s ever escaped your lips? Are you blunt? Your comments and support give me a #GirlBoner. Seriously.

The Beauty of Blurting and Undies Gone Wild

Ever feel like this?

One moment you’re enjoying a casual conversation. A beat later, your hand flies to your mouth—as though covering it might erase the inappropriate words it emitted or prevent further damage. But, it’s too late. The person before you blushes a deep magenta, turns sheet-white or worse.

Yes, blurting can be damaging to ourselves and others. And trust me, I’ve experienced enough of both. I’m happy to say that maturity, practice and mindfulness have minimized my own blurting risks immeasurably. But I don’t think all blurting is bad. In researching for this post, I realized there are very few—practically zilch—positives about blurting on the web. So I thought I’d open my big mouth blurt some out myself.

Blurting is honest. 

Having grown up in the midwest, where concealing potentially hurtful truths is often the norm, I appreciate honesty big time. Given the choice, I’ll take a Simon Cowell-like critic over a “nice” one any day. When ultra-honest people share feedback, we can trust it, often allowing us to grow. While speaking our minds continually and around certain people can be hurtful, blurting helps keep us from bottling feelings up. (If you’re not a blurter, or a recovering one ;), I recommend morning pages or therapy as useful ways of getting things off your chest.)

Blurting can reduce stress.

Yes, blurting can also cause stress. But letting thoughts fly in private, out loud can provide crazy awesome stress relief. Back in my acting days, my coach suggested we get all of my frustrations out before auditions by yelling them out in our cars. By clearing the brain, we end up more relaxed. Just make sure you’re well out of others’ hearing range, unless you’d prefer to scare passersby away.

Blurting can be FUNNY.

In hindsight, and sometimes straight away, sharing un-premeditated thoughts can provide hilarious entertainment. Here is a personal example, in honor of National Underwear Day.

I was living in New York, working in the fashion industry, when one of my roommates convinced me to out clubbing. We’d both participated in a lengthy photo shoot featuring Calvin Klein undergarments. She was sick of seeing me sitting around reading on Friday nights, and I was sick of her pleads. Plus, we had a few takeaways from the shoot—a serious rarity—and our makeup and hair was already party-ready done. So why not?

We ended up at a lounge-type-club in midtown, chock full of NYC’s hottest socialites and swooning jazz music with a subtle techno beat. I spotted a familiar face across the room and filled with enthusiasm—none other than Mr. Klein himself! (Normally I don’t think much about designers, but CK is one of my faves.)

I rushed toward him. The moment the music dropped to near-silent, I blurted, “I’m wearing your underwear!” at the top of my lungs.

My roommate whisked me aside, but not before I caught distasteful looks from CK’s entourage. Mr. Klein himself seemed borderline amused. My roomie, not so much.

On the happy side, I left with a funny story (perhaps CD did, too) and my roommate never pestered about clubbing again.

Also in honor of National Underway Day, the “undies” in this photo are made out of film strip. Not remotely comfy, FYI.

For more undie fun, check out these fab posts:

Jenny Hansen: Undie-Shooters Have Made the WANAPanties Parade List!
Natalie Hartford: Urban Word Wednesday: Panty Anthem
Julie Glover: Panties? Skivvies? Bloomers? Words for Underwear
For a thoughtful post on making things right after hurtful remarks, read Lisa Hall-Wilson’s post, How Sorry Are You?

So…blurt away. 😉 What hilariousness have you experienced thanks to you or someone else blurting things out? What are the wackiest undies you’ve worn?