#AskDrMegan: When Is Porn-Use a Problem?

“Ultimately, sexuality and intimacy are about giving and receiving pleasure.” — Megan Fleming, PhD

Last year after speaking at the National Women’s Studies Association annual conference on ways the digital age affects how women feel about their bodies and sexuality, I hung around to take one-on-one questions. I quickly realized that the entire presentation could’ve easily centered on one of my sub-topics: porn.

“My boyfriend uses it every night and I feel weird about it,” one woman said. “I feel guilty about that—and a little prudish.”

No one is “prudish” for having concerns about porn. It’s common to have mixed feelings about it, especially in a culture with messages around sexuality just as mixed.

“I’m all into visual sexual expression,” said another, “but why is porn so violent and over-the-top?”

Thankfully, it’s not! If you like the concept of porn but find the content offensive, I highly recommend feminist porn as an alternative. The genre dedicated to gender equality and social justice doesn’t demean women, or anyone. IMO, that’s dang sexy. I’m also a big fan of Cindy Gallop’s efforts to bring authenticity into sexy TV. (You can hear my interview with Cindy here.)

So how do you know if porn is detracting from your life or relationship(s)? I couldn’t think of a better resource to explore this than Girl Boner®’s resident relationships expert, Dr. Megan Fleming.

Check out this short video I recorded during my recent NYC visit. You may recognize the audio from the latest Girl Boner® Radio episode. In this excerpt, Dr. Megan answers two common questions about porn-use, including one of the above. I have a feeling you’re going to love what she has to say.

Stream the full episode, which also features my chat with adult star Moe “the Monster” Johnson, on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or my homepage.

How has porn affected your sex life? Any questions of your own you’d like answered on Girl Boner® Radio? As always, I welcome your respectful thoughts! ♥