My grandmother was sweeter than honey, as cheerful as a rainbow and trusting—arguably to a fault. In her later years, she watched every episode of Divorce Court in great anticipation. “How sad…” she’d respond to the verdict. “I wanted them both to win!” She never gave up hope, particularly in others. But even Grandma had her limits…
One day during a cheery walk near her home, a car pulled up beside her. As the window rolled down, Grandma smiled, assuming it was a nice man from a nearby retirement community she recognized.
“Hop in,” the driver said. “I’ll give you a ride.”
Grandma entered the car, closed the door, fastened her seatbelt then looked at the driver—a total stranger. After a silent ride, during which she scarcely breathed, the car reached a stop sign. Grandma didn’t hesitate; she opened the door and fled.
That story, though gratefully anticlimactic, has popped into my head over the years, inspiring wonder. What was my sweet grandmother thinking? What was he thinking? Did more than lack of familiarity prompt her to flee? What if she hadn’t fled, or if the man stopped her? In my favorite imagined scenario my Swedish, Hindi-speaking grandmother lures the man to an Indian restaurant and kung fu-flings him into a samosa fryer. (Hi-YA!) In a way, that’s what she did. Grandma’s actions told the driver she wouldn’t succumb to his desires, whatever they were. She had no need to look back and probably never assumed someone’s identity again.
Trust wasn’t my grandmother’s detriment, but her strength. So she was a bit lax on the awareness factor. But once inside that car, she trusted her instincts and reacted. Her quick decision at the stop sign could very well have saved her life.
If you read my Life-Saving Resolutions series, you know how much I value awareness and intuition in regards to personal safety, much due to Gavin de Becker’s revolutionary book, The Gift of Fear. When I use my fear as a tool—rather than talk myself out of it—and react responsibly, I tell friends I had a “GOF moment.” I’m amazed at how many we all experience. We may never how much listening and responding to our instincts helps us, and that’s perfectly okay by me.
One of many things I love about The Gift of Fear is its emphasis on people who overcame the odds, escaping their attackers to survive. Because I find such stories ultra-inspiring, I’ve decided to launch a new series featuring GOF fear moments. We can learn a lot from others’ experiences. Take, for example, these posts:
Stacy Green: Thriller Thursday: Personal Tragedy While this story doesn’t have a happy ending, it reminds us how important gut instincts are. When we feel creeped out, it’s for a reason.
Kourtney Heinz: The Cost of Distracted Driving No phone call or text is worth taking our minds and eyes off the road. The woman featured survived, but barely. And she and her family can use our help.
Natalie Hartford: He Watched His Grandmother Die: Words from a Survivor This heart-wrenching post gives a face and name to an issue that continues to run rampant, though most of us know the risks. Knowing without reacting is like not knowing at all.
Moi: In case you missed it, my post Lifesaving Resolution #4: Trusting Your Instincts, details the time I was followed home from photo shoot in NYC. Numerous readers shared GOF moments in the comments—insightful stuff!
What sticky situations have you managed to get out of? What “stop sign” inspired a turn for the better? Any GOF moments to share? I’m all eyes/ears.