8 Surprising Facts About Female Orgasm

Happy National Orgasm Day! Nope, I didn’t make that up. Today folks across the country are celebrating the big and luscious O. Fabulous, right?

I thought I’d celebrate by sharing some tantalizing facts about Girl Boner-gasms. Check them out, then let me know what you think! I LOVE hearing from you. ♥


1. You could have one without realizing it. Don’t believe me? Listen to my episode on brain-gasms and my orgasm MRI. In short, some women mistake the feel-good sensations of climax with simply feeling good or, sadly, experience so much shame around sexuality that they don’t allow themselves to recognize or embrace what’s happening.

2. They’re POWERFUL! Unlike guys’ orgasms, which are also groovy, she-gasms send shimmery pleasure and elation throughout the whole body—from our heads to the tips of our toes. No wonder they help everything from pain and tension to low moods.

3. And contagious. Now there is something worth catching—yum. Our partners may literally get-off on our getting off. This is one reason men delight in facilitating orgasm meditation—the slow stimulation of a woman’s clit with the fingers alone.

4. Self-stimulation rocks! Did you know that self-sexy-TLC is the easiest way for most women to climax? It’s also a beautiful way to learn more about your body and connect more deeply with your partner, if you have one. I’m also a big fan of couple masturbation. Sharing in each other’s pleasure side-by-side or face-to-face without going pelvis-to-pelvis can be hot on multiple levels.

5. Some women climax through breath or thoughts alone. If a sexy dream has ever sent you over the edge physically, you’ve done so. You can also experience breath-gasms through tantric exercises, as I explored with Dawn Beck on Girl Boner® Radio this week.

6. Our attitudes count. Women who embrace their bodies and sexuality tend to have more frequent and stronger orgasms. This is one reason so many of us experiences greater intensity and fulfillment in the bedroom as we age. (Yes, that we peak in our 30s is a myth.)

7. It’s okay to desire or experience them more than your guy. As Dr. Megan said on my show recently, guys shouldn’t be expected to be superheroes in the bedroom. Similarly, we gals shouldn’t criticize ourselves if we desire sex more than our partner.

To learn more about females having higher sex drive, check out my latest column for The Good Men Project: When You Want Sex More Than He Does – What’s a Girl to Do?

8. There’s no right or best way to have one. Whether you climax frequently or some of the time, namely on the outside of your gorgeous body or deeper within, engage your G-spot or not or reach orgasm quickly or over time, you’re a-okay in that department. Our orgasms are as unique as we are, and 1000% embraceable.

**Another fab way to celebrate! Click the Good Vibrations ad in my sidebar and purchase a sexy product or two. A portion of your purchase will go to all-things-Girl Boner. Thanks so much for any support.

Which fact struck you most? What’s your favorite thing about she-gasms? How will you celebrate this glorious day?

Your #GirlBoner Brain, on Orgasm

“Orgasm is one of the most all-encompassing phenomena in the brain. The only other thing that is known to produce such widespread [brain] activity is epilepsy.”
– Barry Komisaruk, researcher at Rutgers University

August McLaughlin Girl Boner

Many of us think of sex like this.          In reality, it’s more like this.

When I learned that researchers were studying the female orgasm by hooking women up to MRI machines while they climaxed, I was INSANELY slightly envious. Why couldn’t I have participated?!? Not sure I can conjure a cooler gig for a research and Girl Boner obsessed writer. My greenness quickly turned giddy shades of red, thanks to the power of distraction. The findings were fascinating, and affirmed what many sexually empowered women believe: Our brains are funky, sex-tastic beasts!

Some of the highlights:

* When our clitoris, vagina or cervix are touched, a different part of our brain’s genital sensory cortex—a fancy term for the outer layer that promotes sexy feelings—fire up. (Think July 4th fireworks.) All three areas can independently lead to orgasm.

* When the clitoris, vagina and cervix are touched at once, our pleasure sensations are amplified. (Think July 4th fireworks on steroids.)

* As we move toward orgasm,  the hippocampus, which is associated with dreamlike memories, is stimulated. (No wonder mid-sex fantasizing rocks.)

* All 80 regions of the female brain studied at Rutgers University were stimulated during orgasm—at maximum capacity.  (YES! YES! YES!!!)

* During sex, the amygdala, the brain’s emotional powerhouse, is sparked. Women are generally more emotional than men when it comes to sex and orgasm. (This is one reason that female physical sexual dysfunction is controversial; emotional factors, such as poor body image, low-self esteem and trust issues halt women’s libido. As I keep sayin’! ;))

* As we approach orgasm, the cerebellum causes tension in our abs, butt and thighs. Meanwhile, the front cortex, which controls abstract thought and planning (Hmm… more FANTASIES), kicks in. Then the pain-inhibiting brain areas, the anterior cingulate cortex and insula, rev up, causing the opposite of pain: PLEASURE.

* As we climax, the hypothalamus releases the feel-good “love hormone,” oxytocin. Our brain’s pleasure center, the nucleus accumbens, fills with dopamine and we sore even higher. ECTASY.

* As the brain and body calm down after orgasm, the hormonal shifts and release of tension stimulate a warm, nearly intoxicated, glow. Ahhh…. 

Girl Boner sex glow

Knowing that the brain plays such a major role in our sexuality can help on multiple levels. I hope you’ll join me next week as we discuss lifestyle tips for a healthier, sex-friendly brain.

Would you volunteer to orgasm in the name of research? Do the orgasm study findings surprise you? Matchup with your experiences? I LOVE hearing from you! ♥