Sleep-gasms: Female Nocturnal Orgasms and Wet Dreams

I had an incredibly erotic experience the other night. I dreamed I met a man in a bar and without saying a word, began riding his leg. Within what seemed like moments, I climaxed so intensely that it jolted me awake. My handsfree orgasm lingered as I laid there in my PJs, my heart and vagina pulsing, as wet as though I’d been rigorously sexually active for hours. Who knows? Perhaps I had.

This wasn’t my first nocturnal orgasm, but it was definitely the most powerful I recall. Thank you, research! I’d watched an intriguing TED presentation by Mary Roach, author of BONK, called 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm, the evening prior. (Manning Girl Boner Central has so. Many. Perks!) Add an active imagination and all sorts of things open up—YUM! but no pun intended. 😉

I love the fact that I can savor and share such experiences without shame and discuss them with you all here. I also love the empowerment embracing our sexuality brings to all who seek it. The more we step into, respect and savor our sexuality, the better able we become to connect with and delight in it, making way for fuller, more authentic lives. Seems like an orgasmic dream-come-true to me.

Authenticity is SEXY, no matter what it looks like.

Authenticity is SEXY, no matter what it looks like.

“Women have sleep-gasms?” I recall wondering years ago, well before beginning my research into sexuality or launching Girl Boner. Indeed we do! If you’ve wondered yourself about the erotic phenomena, consider the following.

5 Facts About Female Sleep-gasms and Wet Dreams

1. They’re common. In 1953, sexuality researcher Alfred Kinsey, Ph.D found that nearly 40% of the 5,628 women he interviewed experienced at least one nocturnal orgasm or wet dream (technically called “nocturnal emissions”) by age 45. Considering how little women were encouraged to embrace their sexuality or speak about it back then, I’m guessing the numbers are far greater.

2. And recurrent. About 85% of women who orgasm during sleep do so several times per year, according to more recent findings published in the Journal of Sex Research. Now that’s a recurrent dream worth keeping! I’d much prefer night-gasms to flying or stalker dreams—wouldn’t you?

3. They start early. Like boys, many girls experience wet dreams during adolescence. If you have a daughter, sex and relationships expert and author Laura Berman, Ph.D. recommends discussing nighttime orgasms with her when she reaches the 5th or 6th grade to prevent any shame or confusion and to enhance her sense of self.

4. You may not realize you’ve had them. Mid-sleep orgasms usually take place during REM sleep, according to Dr. Barbara Bartlik, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York, when we’re deepest asleep and blood flow to our genitals peaks. Unless you’re woken meanwhile, you’re unlikely to recall the orgasm or any coinciding dream. Unlike men, who consistently ejaculate, our evidence can be less apparent.

5. There’s no shame in having, or not having, them. Sexy dreams, wet or dry, can be an outlet for sexual expression. They’re also believed to symbolize intimate connections with one’s self or others, according to DreamCloud. That said, having them doesn’t make us normal or abnormal, better or worse sexually or otherwise. There should be no shame in having or not having erotic dreams or orgasms during the day or night. If you do experience them, however, I highly recommend embracing them.

Have you had nocturnal orgasms or wet dreams? Which fact above most struck you? I love hearing your thoughts! For more Girl Boner fun, be sure to scope out the Girl Boner Facebook page, connect with me on Twitter and tune in to Girl Boner Radio. Today I’ll be interviewing the incomparable Cindy Gallop, of Make Love, Not Porn. ♥