Patience and Epiphanies: Maximizing the In-Between Time

“Dreams take more than hard work. They take passion, perseverance, authenticity and the ability to sit still for more than a few milliseconds at a time without pulling your hair out.” – me

When I was a tyke, my mom gave me “quiet time” in the corner when I became too much of a handful, which was often. I recall standing with my nose in the corner for hours, aching with all of my might to jump, dance, sing and sprint around the house, wondering how I could possibly survive this torture! A few years ago, I learned that I rarely stood there for more than a few minutes. It seems how we spend the in-between time makes a big ‘ol difference.

My Girl Boner book proposals (yep, multiple) have been in the hands of the same considering publisher for over a year, or 10.6 million years in 3-year-old-ese. I suppose I’ve grown up a little, as as much as I’d anticipated a swifter process, I honestly haven’t felt impatient. I’m grateful for their interest and my agent’s diligence as we work to find the best way to package my work. Even so, I’ve been unsure lately whether the process is going as it should—particularly as more time passes. I’m at what you might call a watershed moment. Which is exciting.

I’ve learned to trust the path, keep my options open and follow my instincts. Rather than allow myself to feel impatient or tortured with my nose in the corner, I now work on myself, craft and career, as dedicated creatives do. Recently, I’ve added meditation to the mix, a practice I’d long deemed impossible for my monkeys-partying brain. I can’t tell you how transformative it’s been. Perhaps that’s why my perceived confusion of late feels like a watershed.

Waldo finds himself

Most of all, I continue to pursue my passions, even when I don’t know precisely where I’m headed career-wise. I’m guessing some of you can relate—yes?

If so, you know that such efforts pay off in all sorts of ways. I adore my show, listeners and readers, have some awesome speaking engagements and potential film and TV projects on the horizon, and can feel myself growing in ways I can’t quite articulate. And yet, something seems missing. (All of you who relate to this, too, say AYE.)

So I asked myself the other day: Self! What is missing? What would fill that elusive void that’s keeping your panties in a bunch?

August McLaughlin blog

Almost immediately, women flashed in my mind—the many I’ve interviewed, heard from and spoken to since Girl Boner was born. It isn’t the the delay in securing a publishing contract that irks me, I realized. It’s that I’m not doing as much as I could for these women. Simply writing that brought tears, as YOW went my heart.

That doesn’t mean I’m rushing off to self-publish, though I’m always grateful that’s an option. I am, however, committing to doing more. Later this week, I’ll share one of the stories I wrote for my initial proposal, based on an interview with a courageous woman named Butterfly. I can’t wait to hear what you all think. While many women have inspired me these past few years, seldom does a day or week go by that I don’t think of Butterly.

In the meantime, here some quotes I love that can help us maximize the in-between time, whether you’re between projects, seeking representation or simply aren’t living the life of your dreams just yet:

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” — Oprah Winfrey

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” — Joyce Meyer

quiet butterfly quote

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

“It’s not about what I can get, it’s what I can give.” — Marie Forleo, Super Soul Sunday

Can you relate to any of this? How do you move forward when things aren’t happening as quickly as you’d hoped? Are you meditating, like me and Waldo? I love hearing from you! ♥

Sexy Benefits of Meditation

Meditation humor

I used to think so, too.

If someone had told me as a kid that one day I’d find tremendous value in stillness, I probably would’ve sat there awaiting the punchline for 1/8 of a millisecond before leaping into the air to sprint spasmodically around the neighborhood at the mere thought of sitting still-age. While I’ve learned to embrace mindfulness since then, I couldn’t read more than a few sentences sitting still until earlier this year. (Dear Elliptical Machine: Thanks for keeping me literate!)

Everything changed when I began to explore meditation. Like much growth in my adult life, I credit my introduction to my bulldog Zoe, with whom I shared incredibly slow walks during her final months of life. Focusing on my breath and her presence, I learned to savor each moment, letting my thoughts drift to near nothingness.

Then without really trying, I began seeking stillness throughout each day. More recently, I’ve begun to meditate sitting or lying still, focusing on my breath, imagery or mantras. And guess what: it’s not boring! On the contrary, it’s a practice I’ve grown to look forward to, and that attracts exciting growth and change. It doesn’t always go as smoothly or simply as I’d like—sometimes it’s flat-out tough—but it always helps. I’ve been sleeping better, working with greater clarity, finding more joy in daily life and even reading pretty well at home.


Meditation may not sound sexy, but it so is. Here are just some of the awesome benefits.

You can meditate your way to…

…improved body image and food attitudes. Poor body image and food or dieting fixation detract from health and happiness in myriad ways by increasing stress, disrupting relationships and, if you eat a restrictive diet, lead to nutrient deficiencies, mood swings, weight gain and more. Research shows that adding mindfulness practice into your daily life can help improve these issues, reducing instances of emotional eating, food cravings and negative body- and food- related thoughts.

…a healthier, happier sex life! Meditation is great way to de-clutter your brain, improve sleep and lower stress, which are PRIMO forms of foreplay. Or foreplay-foreplay—i.e., making foreplay more enticing, feasible and pleasurable. These attributes are important because stress and sleep loss are leading libido tankers for all genders. Meditation can also improve sex hormone levels and set the stage for more powerful orgasms. If you’re really into the sexy perks of meditation, you can pair the two by practicing orgasm meditation.

…improved physical and emotional health. Meditation may be the most studied and proven means of natural health care, both as preventative medicine and as treatment, of all time. And while it shouldn’t replace doctor-recommended care without his or her approval, research has shown benefits for managing anxiety disorders, insomnia, chronic pain, depression, cancer, high blood pressure, asthma and heart disease, reports the Mayo Clinic.

…increased awareness. Little allows us to move forward, live fully, cultivate our passions or appreciate life as powerfully as self-awareness, in my opinion. Life is too precious to not do all we can to honor it. Don’t you think? That was a huge motivator for me to dig deeper.

If you’d like to learn more about meditation, sign up for Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s 21-Day Meditation Challenge, starting November 3rd. It’s FREE and convenient; you simply sign up then listen to daily meditations online. I’ve signed up and would love it you’d join me!

**Special thanks to KM Huber, Rob Riley, Scott McAllister and others who’ve encouraged me to embrace meditation. You absolutely rock.**

Do you meditate? What do you love most about it? Or find most challenging? Will you be joining the 21-Day Challenge? I love hearing from you. ♥