The 500 Hats of Blog-tholomew Cubbins: Reducing Social Media Stress

Have you ever read The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins? It’s a Dr. Seuss story, set in feudal times, featuring a poor boy named Bartholomew. One day while riding through a market, he removes his hat to abide by the law. Once he does, another hat appears in its place. The same thing happens repeatedly, each hat appearing more extravagant than the last, until eventually, the king offers him reprieve and riches for the spiffy 500th. Finally, the boy can breathe easy! The prize was worth the stress and confusion.

Bartholomew reminds me of modern-day writers. Each time we move forward in our careers, we expose more of ourselves, gaining riches and, very often, stress. Every achievement—finishing a draft, landing representation, publishing—seems to invite an additional part-time, or even full-time, job. But we still only have one head!

As some of you know, I first delved deep into social media engagement upon my agent’s suggestion. And holy schmoley, did it feel like a ton of work. I researched the various platforms like crazy and raced through Kristen Lamb’s books in two days, spending the little sleep I could manage in between dream-tweeting. I’m pretty sure I looked something like this:

Social media stress

Since then, I’ve learned ways to fit social media into my writing life without going padded-wall crazy. Over time, it’s felt less like enigmatic work, and more like an enjoyable blessing. I’m sure many of you can relate.

As with most aspects of our careers, it’s important to utilize social media practices that work for us individually. I thought I’d share practices that seem to work well for me, and invite you all to chime in with your fabulous thoughts.

The following habits help keep me productive and sane—pretty simple and straightforward:

1) Save social media for warmups, breaks and cool downs. Social media is for authors what stretching is for marathoners. Our blogs, Twitter and Facebook shouldn’t rule our time, or take precedence over our primary writing. Saving social media for downtime and breaks helps on multiple levels. Shifting gears helps keep our other brains and work fresh; engaging in social media can bring respite, support and fun.

2) Write your most important work when your brain works best. I went into detail on this topic in an earlier post. Basically, working hardest mentally during our “golden hour,” or when we tend to feel the sharpest and most creative allows us to make the most of our time. (I’d personally rather wake up at 5am and work like crazy until mid-day than write at night, when my brain is somewhat mushy.)

3) Take breaks from it ALL. This has been a tough one for me to master, but I’ve learned that working non-stop doesn’t help anything. We can be more productive, creative and efficient if we allow ourselves wiggle room and, you know, that thing called life. Music, friends and my dog help me stay semi-balanced. I’m super grateful for that.

4) Learn to say ‘no.’ This is a biggie. Saying ‘yes’ to too many other tasks or events says ‘no’ to writing time. While breaks and days off are invaluable, they won’t do much if we have scarce work-time left over. If you’re overextended, try cutting back, or ask others for help. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that self-care makes us more enjoyable to be around. (Totally true for me.)

5) Be yourself. Aiming for popularity rather than authenticity doesn’t work well on-line, in my opinion. If we view social media as an extension of ourselves, we don’t have to try so hard—which can stressful and time consuming. Since people tend to recognize and appreciate authenticity, being ourselves naturally attracts engagement and support. If you’re like most writers I know, you enjoy supporting others. So if for no other reason—of which there are many—do that, too.

6) Savor the path. Back to Bartholomew: the prize is in the bedazzled journey. If we enjoy the process, and aren’t crippled by fear or self-doubt, our treasures will only brighten. Sure, we might (okay, will) get criticized along the way. But if we take it all in stride, write because we love writing and remain gentle with ourselves, we’ll reap less stress and more joy. Every day may not be sparkly, but embracing the whole shebang can make it all worthwhile.

Related links you may find helpful:

5 Quick Facebook Tips for the Busy and Shy, by Gene Lempp
25 Things Writers Should Know About Social Media, by Chuck Wendig
I is for Introvert: How Do You Know if You’re an Introvert or an Extrovert? (and how it affects blogging), by Jenny Hansen

Have you found ways to manage social media without feeling stressed or lost for time? What works best for you?

Blogging Commandments: What Works for Me

I’ve attended a variety of writing events over the past few months, and have engaged in some interesting discussions on blogging. To blog or not to blog? Is it effective for authors? What works and what doesn’t? These are just a few of the common blog-related questions writers face—questions with no simple or all encompassing answers.

Okay, so that's only part of it...

Okay, so that’s only part of it…

Through research and experience, we can find those answers for ourselves. My roughly 1.5 years of blogging has taught me a heck of a lot—both through manning my own blog and learning from fabulous others. Toward that end, I thought I’d share some of the guidelines that tend to work well for me.

My 7 Commandments of Blogging

1. Thou shalt never prioritize blogging over book writing.

Like many writers, I started blogging to build my author platform (and because my agent suggested I do). I’ve enjoyed many unexpected benefits since—fabulous friendships, fun social media interaction and more. These perks could easily take up most of my time and energy if I let them. I might even have fun in the process. But before long, I’d be sad—deeply sad, because writing (stories, namely) is my heart and, quite often, my sanity. And an ungratified heart hurts, big time. Then there’s that little thing called money; without book and article writing, I wouldn’t have any. Unless we want to be bloggers who write manuscripts on the side, working blogging into a healthy writing lifestyle that supports our craft first and foremost is vital. If you struggle with social media time-suck, save it for warmups, cool-downs and breaks. (Think of it as snacks and dessert, versus the fruits, veggies and entree.)

2. Thou shalt aim for consistency.

I’m a pantser through and through. I don’t outline, loathe schedules and use calendars primarily as wall decor. And yet, blogging if or when the spirit moves me seems unwise.* I feel that my readers deserve more than that. Plus, posting because we’re committed to doing so—not necessarily inspired—builds writer-strength. We work that get-it-done muscle, and learn that inspiration will come if we simply sit our butts down and write. I aim for two posts per week, generally on Mondays and Thursdays, but without holding myself to either with an iron fist. (Again, book work comes first.)

*I know several awesome bloggers who don’t use even loose posting schedules. If consistent inconsistency works for you, so be it! The key is finding what works for us.

3. Thou shalt write what you’re compelled to.

This might sound somewhat contrary to the above, but it isn’t. (What if we’re not compelled to write a post by post day?) We’re all compelled to discuss, share or explore ideas. It’s part of what makes us writers. Rather than write about something that seems marketable or stats-boosting, or because it’s easy—i.e., we’re expert in it, I prefer to write with my heart and gut. It lends itself to stronger, more enjoyable-to-write and share posts, and reader appreciation; they can sense authenticity and complacency.

4. Thou shalt listen to and respect your readers.

I’ve been happily surprised by how helpful readers can be in terms of shaping my content and helping me grow as a writer. Interacting with readers via blog comments and elsewhere on social media shows that we care, and provides an opportunity to understand what strikes them most. Such engagement may also reveal related topics or angles they’d like explored further—which may compel you to do so. 😉 If you want to know more about your readers, ask questions. The more engagement, the better, in my opinion.

5. Thou shalt support other bloggers and writers.

Supporting others benefits us in a variety of ways. First, it feels good. (It’s far more fun to tell Twitter and Facebook friends that they’ve “got to read this post/book!” when it’s someone else’s post/book—not ours.) Second, bloggers we support often reciprocate—though I don’t think that this should be the primary reason behind liking, commenting and sharing; give to give. Some bloggers take such support even further. Gene Lempp and Reetta Raitanen post thoughtful mashups on their blogs. Susie Lindau throws awesome promote-your-stuff/mingle with other bloggers parties. It doesn’t have to be overly time consuming, and can be a lot of fun. In addition to the support factor, hosting mashups, guest bloggers and author interviews can save us time.

6. Thou shalt proof read.

Going back through some of my early posts can be horrifying nauseating offsetting, as I haven’t always taken time to proofread my posts. (Shhh!) It’s ironic, as many of us start out nervous about blogging because we’re used to perfecting our other work. But how can we perfect blog posts and do everything else? When I started out, I tried to fit too much in too soon. “Perfection” isn’t necessary, but making sure we’ve made a solid effort at fixing grammatical errors and the like is important. For particularly important posts, I often ask my dear friend—and skilled writer/editor—Bill Parker for his expert once over. (Not sure I’ve met anyone who can read and spot typos so quickly.) Blog posts are meant to be more casual than our other writing, but they go out into the world, and we never know who might see it. We should aim to put our best blogging foot forward. If that means cutting back from three to two posts per week or delaying a post a day or two, as I have, do it.

7. Thou shalt have fun. Blogging because we feel we should, yet loathe it, isn’t likely to breed success in any arena of our lives. If it isn’t fun, or as fun as you’d like it to be, consider changing things up. I’m pretty sure I could build a sizable blogging platform in the realm of nutrition, but I’m a health writer. Endless posts about what I’m already covering elsewhere would feel like needless homework, or gratuitous “I just want higher stats!” posts. So, I cover food-related topics when I’m compelled to (sick of that word yet???). Otherwise I stick to topics that light my fire, like Girl Boners, music and thrillers.

Speaking of fun, if you haven’t checked out social media jedi master Kristen Lamb’s blog and books, what rock have you been hiding under? you should. I thought Twitter was the lamest thing since size 0 jeans until I read her stuff. Be forewarned—it’s addictive. If you’re brand spankin’ new to blogging, check out Ginger Calem’s Building a Blog in April. She’ll help you up onto your feet, and one of her lucky graduates will win a spot in Kristen’s more advanced blogging class through WANA International. For more from yours truly, and many other authors and speakers, I hope you’ll consider attending the OWFI Conference in May. I’ll be sharing insight on blogging for building an author platform (without going crazy!), and a teaching a workshop on hybrid author-hood, or going indie with an agent. (Excited!)

We’ve got to do what works best for us if we want to grow and thrive as writers. The above guidelines have helped me expand my writing, gained me some pretty nifty freelance and speaking gigs, and helped nurture my feeble “Will anyone read this?!?” blog into one with a pretty solid and steadily growing readership. The rest of my personal blogging growth (and I’m sure many of you can relate) boils down to trial and error, instinct and simply keeping on. And while I don’t have a specified breakdown, I have no doubt that my online platform has played a role in my book sales—a valuable one. I hope that wherever you are in your journey, you’ll continually find what rocks your writing world.

Do any of these resonate with you? What similar or vastly different commandments make your list? Any questions, challenges or related thoughts to share?

IN HER SHADOW Thrill-fest and Release Party!

When I finished the first draft of my novel, I called my mom, sniffling. “You should rest,” she said. “You just birthed a novel.”

baby book names

Yes, as a parent and poet, Mom gets it. I hesitate to draw many parenting/writing comparisons, not having kids myself. Judging from what others who do have shared, however, numerous parallels fit. “Birthing” a book is intense, exciting, gratifying, sometimes painstaking and frustrating work, all made more enjoyable, manageable and profound by the support of others. So I suppose I should now welcome you all to my “baby” shower. May the diaper games begin! 😉 Kidding. As bizarre fun as that sounds, I think we’ll venture elsewhere, starting with what matters most at this party: you all.

I can’t thank you all enough for joining me in my journey this past year-plus, in whatever capacity you have. I wish I could list everyone I’m grateful to by name, but that would be about as breezy to read as one of those “old fashioned” phone books. Here are the highlights:

I’m particularly grateful to my parents for never saying “don’t” and always saying “dream;” my husband, for reading nearly every word of my every draft and tolerating my maniacal writer-dom in ways even I sometimes can’t; my friend and mentor Mike Sirota, for running my pages through the Simon Cowel-like ringer and being there through days dark and bright; my agent John Rudolph for believing in me, thinking outside of the box and helping me become a stronger writer; digital publishing manager Yassine Belkacemi for uploads, formatting and fielding my endless questions with considerable patience; Steena Holmes for her beautiful work on my cover and tireless support; and my furry and feathered office pals, Zoe and Wombley, whose animal-love I thrive on.

To my blogging friends, the WANA crowd and Jedi master Kristen Lamb, fabulous folks I’ve met through Bouchercon, ThrillerFest and the Southern California Writers Conference and friends I’ve fallen in writer-love with through words and pages, THANK YOU. I hope you know you’re like permanently implanted in my heart. 😉

Now for the FUN STUFF!

I’m stoked and honored to invite you all to the IN HER SHADOW Thrill-Fest Giveaway raffle. Some of my favorite thriller authors have joined in by offering up some spectacular prizes. Up for grabs include signed books by Amanda Kyle Williams, David Freed, DP Lyle, Donna Galanti, Stacy Green and Amy Shojai. I’ll be giving away three copies IN HER SHADOW, hot off the presses in a couple of weeks, each accompanied by an interview with me.

A lowdown of the prizes:

Each prize includes a signed book and, in most cases, an interview with the author. The interviews may be conducted by phone, Skype or email and, potentially, shared on your blog or website. You can also gift your prize to a thriller-loving or “writerly” friend. The interview details will be worked out via email, based on the author’s preference and what works for you, at the raffle’s end. Check out these tantalizing covers:


raffle books

How to enter:

Hop over to the GIVEAWAY tab on my Facebook page, using this link. The raffle widget will guide you through a variety of simple ways to support participating books and authors. While not necessary for the raffle, I hope that when you visit the authors’ Amazon pages, you’ll click that little “like” button if you indeed like what you see. You can also gain raffle points by commenting on this post. (See below.)

The raffle ends this Saturday, January 12th at midnight. You can utilize every raffle option once daily, today through Saturday, for a maximum of 50 raffle points per day. Not too shabby, right?

For even MORE fun, join me and my friend Karina, the Goddess of Terrifying Trivia, tonight for a virtual launch party on Facebook. We’ll be giving out more prizes and having a heck of a lot of goofy, thriller-related fun. The party goes from 5pm to 9pm PST, and you’re welcome to pop by for a virtual drink or linger all party long. You can also join us on Twitter: #InHerShadow. For further details, visit:

IN HER SHADOW Thrill-Fest Launch Party on Facebook

In Her Shadow - Finalx2

I hope to see you there! So much love and gratitude,

August

*Using the following prompt, post a comment below between today and Saturday for another chance to win. I’ll give 10 extra points for the most creative comment. Ready…set…GO!

How is writing like or unlike childbirth or parenthood?

Is it Time to Change Your Blog?

What the heck should I write about? What if no one reads my posts? What if EVERYONE does? What if HE does? Or SHE does?

Many bloggers obsess over ponder these questions early on. Then little-by-little we mature, from little baby blog-o-nitas to blog-alescents until finally, we reach hot blog mama-and-papa adulthood—perfect post, after perfect post. They flow from us like soap bubbles through a blower, impressing every reader equally and never ever causing a lick of stress.

*Falls over laughing* Yes, we gain confidence and skills. But even then, blogging involves continual growth. While that’s a great thing, it can bring growing pains. We may realize we’re posting too frequently or seldom, that our graphics or theme needs work or that we’ve grown complacent, too wordy or sloppy. Blogs grow along with us. It only makes sense that they’d change as we do.

Sometimes the greener grass we seek is right beneath our feet.

I’ve experienced a bit of my own blog-angst recently over a couple of secrets I’ve been keeping from you all. Sorry! Not my preference, trust me. Normally, I write whatever I’m compelled to. But for reasons I shan’t fully disclose (involving technicalities and even legalities), a couple of sizzling-hot tid bits (sizzling to me, anyway) have been growing into untamable flames inside me, making me want to burst on a daily, sometimes more frequent, basis.

So, spill ’em already! I hear some of you saying. Not yet. 😉 I can set the stage, however, by announcing some blog changes I’ll be making pronto:

A new blog schedule. (Did I just use the s-word? Yipes!) Until now, I’ve posted twice most every week, on whatever days I choose. From now on, I’ll aim to post every Monday and Thursday. Guessing many of you haven’t noticed my variance anyway.

Thematic post days: On Mondays, I’ll focus on sexuality, sexual empowerment for women and related topics, such as romance and sexual health. In honor of #ThrillerThursday (a fabulous weekly Twitter event), and my main fiction work, I’ll post on whatever thrills me at the time on Thursdays. This could include writing, books, authors, movies, animals, food, psychology, music—the list goes on, and on… I didn’t mention Mondays’ theme-name, now did I? NOPE! T.B.A. 😉

Perhaps now you can see why the schedule is important. Sex and all-(other ;))-things-thrilling are vastly different channels. If you’re not into sex-related topics, you can skip over my Monday posts. If you LOVE reading about sexuality, or simply want to join in upbeat, sex-related, empowering, sometimes silly discussion, you might opt to read my blog only on Mondays. Totally up to you, as always. I think this shift will make things easier for all of us.

Making these decisions got me thinking about blog changes in general. We all make tweaks along the way. The following have helped guide my ways.

Signs Your Blog or Blog Habits Need Changing:

1. It takes away from other writing. When I started blogging, I posted three times per week. To keep this up, and work on articles, my novel and semi-keep up with housework and other basics, like showering (well, practically), I quickly learned that two posts worked better. To keep my novel work a high priority, I blog after, and occasionally as a warmup or break.

2. You aren’t in love with your topics. Perhaps love is a strong word, but if we aren’t excited or at least interested in a topic, our posts will probably fall flat. As many of you know, authenticity rules in social media. Don’t fake it. Change it.

3. Your gut says CHANGE. This holds true for all writing, in my opinion. If the little voice in the back of your head says, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” and the thought makes your heart beat a little faster, the voice is probably right. Nervousness and self-doubt may try to mute that voice. Don’t let it.

4. It feels like trivial homework. Blogging should be fun. Many of us blog as part of an author platform, but that doesn’t mean we should dread or drag ourselves through the experience. Even informative posts should be pleasurable to read and write. And I bet I’m speaking for many when I say I’d rather read a post someone had a blast writing than a “perfect” one.

5. You’re unfulfilled. Fulfillment derives from all sorts of stimuli. Posts and topics we care about and interaction with fellow bloggers and readers can be hugely gratifying. If you’re low on the interaction spectrum, make efforts interact more. This post by Kristen Lamb, on improving your “Likability Quotient,” is chock-full of helpful insight. If your posts aren’t gratifying, see #s 1 through 4.

Making changes, and committing to them, can be scary. What if our new content doesn’t jive well with readers? Or topics that seem cool in our heads come out wonky? What if a schedule we set for ourselves seems impossible to maintain? The answer, I’ve decided, is who cares? It’ll all work out somehow, and it’s far better to take the risk—especially if your gut says DO. Transitions may go smooth-as-PB or as clumpy freezer burnt ice cream. Fortunately, the latter—like most obstacles—is fixable. (We can always buy new ice cream. ;))

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you changed your blog? Are you considering changes? I always love gabbing with you.

Social Media Fitness for Authors: Happy Findings

Before August of last year, social media seemed like a chore I didn’t have time for. Between novel and article writing, I figured, how could I possibly squeeze it in? Thirteen months later, I consider it not only vital, but fun. What a difference a year makes.

After signing with my agent, I wanted to know what I could do to enhance my career—aside from revising book one and writing book two. The web is chock-full of resources on writing, agent-seeking and book promoting. Information on the in-between time, however, is scarce. My agent sent me a marketing packet which described active blogging, Facebook and Twitter as essential tools for authors. Fine, I thought. Whatever it takes… But I didn’t expect it to be fun.

I zipped over to Amazon and came across Kristen Lamb’s books, Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer and We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social MediaI took one to the gym, gulping down every word at rapid stairclimber speed. About a zillion lightbulbs went on and for the first time, social media excited me. I starting blogging the next day. It’s ironic that this all went down during exercise; the parallels between physical and social media fitness are near perfect.

Meeting Kristen Lamb and other writer friends at conferences rocked my year.

Physical Fitness and Social Media Fitness: (Practically) The Same Darn Thing

Many of us start exercising to lose weight and look better, and because we believe we “should.” Getting started can be tough and intimidating. We might fear looking like fools at the gym in a sea of svelte bodies, dread waking up early or hitting the trails after work; it’s not how we want to spend our time. At first, it HURTS. Every step feels difficult and exhausting as we struggle to adapt physically and to balance our new habits with other aspects of our busy lives.

Over time, though, we start looking and feeling better. Pretty soon, aesthetic reasons aren’t what drives us. We’re happier. We make better friends and partners. We sleep better at night, wake up refreshed, experience less stress and perform better at work. We even start enjoying exercise. If we don’t, we make it enjoyable—that is if we want to continue reaping benefits. Physical fitness becomes the byproduct of a healthy lifestyle.

Many authors join social media to gain readers and sales and because we feel we “should.” But if we approach it properly, those benefits become a byproduct of a healthy, happy writer’s lifestyle—minus the hamstring aches of lunges. 😉 

Social media helps break up my day, makes me feel part of a supportive community, introduces me to fantastic friends, takes up far less time than I feared and even strengthens my writing. And I’ve been thrilled to learn that yapping our heads off about ourselves and our work doesn’t help. The keys are supporting and interacting with others and sharing content we feel passionate about—whether we strive to educate, entertain or inspire. Chances are that content will strike a chord with others.

Like physical fitness, gimmicks and shortcuts (endless auto-tweets, buying followers, having others blog for you…) don’t work. Neither does fixating on “the numbers.” Authenticity rules, and if we don’t have fun, we won’t be successful. As a girl who wrote papers to get out of phys. ed. and struggled with food, weight and dieting issues for years, trust me—I know.

I’m grateful every day for the supportive readers and friends I’ve gained. Success is no longer my driving force, but I believe it will come—as it has for many authors.

Key findings from a Neilsen report published in 2011:

  • Social networks and blogs dominate Americans’ time online, accounting for nearly a quarter of total internet time.
  • Nearly 4 in 5 active internet users visit social networks and blogs routinely.
  • Americans spend more time on Facebook any other U.S. website.
  • Nearly 40 percent of social media users access social media from their cell phone.
  • Internet users over age 55 are driving social networking growth through the mobile Internet
  • Many women view online video on social networks and blogs, but men are the heaviest online video users overall. They stream more videos and watch them longer.
  • 70 percent of adult social networkers shop online—12 percent more than the average adult internet user.
  • 53 percent of active adult social networkers follow a brand (such as authors) and 32 percent follow a celebrity.
  • Based on 10 major global markets, social networks and blogs reach over three-quarters of active internet users.
  • Blogs and social networks rule American internet time—more so than email—accounting for 23 percent of time spent online.

Fabulous related links:

Lisa Hall-Wilson: 6 Social Media Platforms – Which is bight for you?
Kristen Lamb: Everything We Need to Know About Social Media Success, We Learned in Kindergarten

How does social media influence your writing life, craft or career?  Any tips to share with newbies? 

Thank you for your ongoing support. You’ve helped me grow and brightened my days more than you know. 

The Beauty of Something New

Recently a friend told me he’s fallen in love for the first time. Simply hearing those words made my stomach lift, much like the photo I shared on Facebook the other day. (Wheeeeeeeeeeee!) Man, I thought. Brand-spankin’ new love is going to do wonders for his writing. Not that he needs it—just seemed like a bonus. And it really got me thinking.

For years, all of the songs I wrote were sad, the primary themes consisting of loneliness, despair, heartbreak, hopelessness and, at their most positive, hopeful pleas that life would get better. That’s not to say I was always sad. I just never wrote songs when I wasn’t. When I met my husband, the feel-good brain-chemicals went into full force, and voila. Out came songs about bliss, gratitude and love notes to the sky.

Falling in love feels like zipping over roller coaster hills, minus the terror. Sure, there can be fear; love puts us in an extremely vulnerable place. And that is scary. But it’s also beautiful, inspiring and worth every ounce of risk. If we’re not careful (and who punch-drunk in love is?) those chemical rushes can be addictive. Fortunately, there are ways to effectively gain regular doses, without creating a dependency. 😉

According to Deborah Blum, a Pulitzer Prize-winning science writer, that initial rush we experience while falling in love also helps us think more clearly and concentrate. So guess what? Falling in love IS great for writing and all art forms. And even “old” relationships—with our partners and craft—can instill roller coaster-like reactions and feelings.

Since my friend’s revalation, I’ve been pondering that stomach-lift-wheeee feeling. I took inventory. I’m blown away by how often these feelings arise—no flings or breakups required.

Over the past few years, these events have sent my brain’s dopamine flow into high-gear, inspiring happy rewards:

  • Realizing that I’m a writer and stepping onto that path fully.
  • Writing and finishing my first novel in a rapid, giddy rampage.
  • Finishing a major revision, and another. 😉
  • Meeting other writers at my first writers conference, and writers in my genre at ThrillerFest and BoucherCon.
  • Meeting, collaborating and celebrating with blogging friends, much thanks to Kristen Lamb and WANA International.
  • Getting offers from literary agents, signing with one. More revising. Getting positive and growth-inducing feedback.
  • Starting my second novel. Epiphanies along the way.
  • Learning that my friend Kourtney Heinz was named a semifinalist in the Amazon.com BreakThrough Novel Award contest shortly after reading and loving an excerpt.
  • On the personal front: Vacations. Fun dates. Seeing close friends and family. Returning from vacation to my dog’s tail-goes-wild greeting. Winning a writing prize. Learning that my newest niece had been born. Seeing Mammoth for the first time. Performing on stage. Seeing The Negro Problem perform live. And a mini-burst today, when I opened my door and saw that my new Kindle arrived.

Regardless of how big or small, seeking and enjoying “something new” can not only give our brain chemicals a lift, but help shake up monotony, prevent and combat creative blocks, boost our confidence and make life more fun. On Monday, Kristen shared 5 Ways to Get Out of the Comfort Zone and Become a Stronger Writer on her blog. I suspect that all five of her suggestions would make for awesome new somethings. Renewal outside of writing can also help…

10 Non-Writing Ways to Get that WHEEE! Feeling

  • Try a new restaurant or cuisine you’ve been dying or hesitant to try.
  • Re-connect with an old friend.
  • Write a thank you letter to someone who’s made a big impact on your life.
  • Have a play date with a friend, where you act like kids: Go swinging at the park. Take a “paint your plate” or other crafty class. Play dress up.
  • Bring homemade baked goods or flowers to a neighbor.
  • Send a thoughtful care package to a loved one.
  • Explore a new hobby.
  • Try a new social media platform, with the aim of having fun.
  • Buy yourself a new outfit. Get gussied up and go out.
  • Try a new recipe. Need ideas? Check out my guest post on mystery author K.B. Owen’s blog. 😉

A few of my favorite posts of the week:

RunningFromHellwithEl: How I Became a Rebel Thriver
Ellie Ann: 15 Thrilling Moments at the Cinema
Natalie Hartford: 5 Things I’ll Never Apologize For

What do you do to keep things lively and joyful in your life or career? What’s the latest “something new” you’ve tried?

Artists Flocking Together (It’s PARTY Time!)

Gone are the days of bar hob-nobbing with Hemingway and Stein… 

…but that doesn’t mean we’re doomed!

If you’re like many artists, stories of writers’ bars and artists’ coves make your heart tighten in envy. (Youch. Yep, like that.) How are we supposed to accomplish our real work (our art) when we have bills to pay? Households to run? Relationships to nurture? All without going crazy? While varying opinions abound, I believe that prioritizing our passions is necessary for artists, if we want to be happy, healthy and successful. This past year, I’ve learned a great deal about another crucial factor—community.

Signing with my literary agent last August was exhilarating, but the aftermath left me a bit lonely and confused. What now? I wondered. So accustomed to working my butt off to land an agent, I assumed there’d be plenty to do, other than writing my next novel. When I asked my agent, he sent me a packet of marketing tips intended for post-publication. May as well start early, right?

In the packet I spotted that loathsome daunting annoying beautiful word: blogging. A web-search led me to Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer, a book by social media guru Kristen Lamb. I dove in and soon felt not only less annoyed at the thought of social media, but excited. No, seriously. (I still have mental double-takes at that revelation…) Kristen demystified Twitter and other social media platforms, and led me toward a world full of talented, passionate creatives, many of whom struggled with the same lonely bouts, passion for writing and determination I had.

The people I’ve met through #MyWANA—a hashtag based on Kristen’s second book appropriately named We Are Not Alonearen’t simply fellow artists, but friends. Before connecting with these fab folks, I thought I’d find passionate, driven writers solely at writer’s conferences. But guess what. While many of these passionate souls do attend conferences, they’ve also sought avenues to bring their craft and careers to the best possible level in between. Rather than complain or shrink away in the face of e-books and social media, they’ve embraced the digital age. They blog, Tweet, share and promote their work on Facebook, support one another in the dark times, the blah times and the brightest of shiny-happy-news times. They are my WANA sisters and brothers, and I love them with my big, squooshy heart. 

Francis, the WANA mascot

Here is more good news: The more we support and connect with others, the more our own artistry grows. And the more we grow individually, the stronger artists become as a whole. Like birds, each artist brings unique beauty and flare to the world. (Just ask Francis!) As a flock, we become breathtaking, empowered, empowering, and even world-changing.

This week, Kristen Lamb and her business partner, Ingrid Schaffenburg, launched WANA International. It’s goal? To empower artists—singers, dancers, writers, painters, actors…—of the digital age.

WANA’s Mission:

WANA is seeking to fill a vacuum. We were inspired by the movie “Midnight in Paris.” We found ourselves longing for a time when creative people—ALL types of creative people—could all hang out, talk, chat, brainstorm, help each other, etc. 

One of the things that bothers me about social media is that I see a lot of inbreeding. Writers talk all to writers about writing and that is good, but after time it stagnates. No new blood and no new ideas. Thus, WANA will solve this
problem. 
—Kristen Lamb

HOW EXCITED ARE YOU, SERIOUSLY??? 🙂 WANA International offers a powerful new social media platform and a broad range of webinars, taught by experts ranging form New York Times bestselling authors to technology, lifestyle and business pros—all of whom are artists, first and foremost. I’m stoked and honored to be among the teaching crew, with my first course, Write-amin 101: Eat Well, Write Better, launching in July.

To help celebrate, please join us on Twitter tonight, using the hashtags #MyWANA and #WANAPARTY. To learn more about WANA and all it has to offer, visit Kristen Lamb’s post, I Bring You…A Gift–A New Era for the Digital Age Artist.

So I WANA know. 😉 What’s your favorite aspect of being an artist of the digital age? Have you dipped into WANA International? Will you be joining the Twitter party tonight? I’d love to see you there.


The Bodacious Blogger’s Essential Ingredients

I’ve never been great at following recipes, perhaps because my first works of fiction were faux cakes and pizzas baked in my magical kitchen. (Okay, the sandbox.) My recipe ineptness has its perks, though. First, it’s made coming up with my own concoctions practically necessary. (I’m happy to report that they no longer taste like air or sand.) Second, it prepared me for writing, on the page and in the blogosphere.

Like baking a cake, there is no one “right” way or “perfect” recipe to achieve blogging success. But there are useful guidelines…

Essential Ingredients for Blogging Bodacious-ness

1. Authenticity. We hear this word a lot in regards to blogging, for good reason. Writing about issues and topics we care about, in our own voice makes for captivating posts. Our blogs should be natural extensions—or reflections—of us and what our brands represent. In other words, bake your own “cake” from scratch, using your own ingredients (your thoughts, beliefs, knowledge…). Readers can tell if we use a mix or swap the bakery label for our own. 😉

2. Readability. Ever looked at a recipe and felt so daunted by the tiny print, long lists of unpronounceable ingredients or lack of photos? I personally believe that posts should be as long as they need to be. Breaking up longer paragraphs with spaces, bullet points or photos, and using clear fonts and non-distracting themes can help ensure a comfy reading experience.

3. Takeaways. Imagine going to a cooking demo and leaving with an empty, ravenous belly. Might be okay if the chef was highly entertaining, but if not, your low blood sugar and emotional upset would probably prevent you from visiting again. Blogging works similarly. Giving our readers some sort of takeaway, be it entertainment, inspiration or how-to tips, functions like welcome and thank you gifts, bundled into one.

4. Supportiveness. When I was a kid, I loved going door-to-door selling everything from candy and cookies to 1-child plays. But I was weird. And have grown up since then. Not only is pushiness counter-productive for writers, but ineffective. (Thank goodness!) Supporting others creates connectedness and community. Visit others’ blogs. Follow those you find intriguing. Post thoughtful comments when a post strikes you, and share links you enjoy. (Not convinced? Read social media guru Kristen Lamb’s post, 10 Ways to Increase Your Likability Quotient.)

5. Effective Titles. Would you have read this post if I titled it, Random Stuff? “With 500,000 new blog posts published per day on WordPress.com sites alone, we can’t afford to use vague or boring titles if we want our blog to stand out in tweets or in someone’s Google reader,” Marcy Kennedy, one of my favorite bloggers, wisely said. For more of her insight, read Four Little-Known Factors that Could Destroy Your Blog’s Chances of Success.

Bloggers Who Take the Cake
The proof is in the pudding, right??? The following bloggers bodacious supreme, in my opinion. They have their ingredients and style down pat, never cease to inspire, entertain or teach, and continually bring joy to my cyber-villa. I’ve awarded each blogger one of my cake concoctions.

Natalie Hartford takes the Pink Rainbowlicious Cake for bedazzling the blogosphere with her unique enthusiasm, color and pizazz. She’s as sweet as her blog is PINK! She spilled some of her fab blogging secrets here: Keeping Your Blogging Mojo Alive and Burning.

Tameri Etherton takes the Berry Yummy Oatmeal cake. She’s wholesome, fun and nurturing, with no need for added sweetener. Because Tameri loves happy endings, her natural cake has sweet surprises inside.

Louise Behiel takes the Sassy Salmon Cakes. Louise never fails to educate and inspire. Her gluten-free cakes are fortifying, like her posts, and delicious, much like her friendship and support. She recently shared 8 Steps to an Emotionally Rich Family, and drew a brilliant comparison between old-fashioned radios and kids.

Kourtney Heinz takes the Flourless Chocolate Cake for her rich writing skills and ability to savor every bit. No room for extra fluff in this writing woman’s life! You’ll see what I mean when you read her captivating post, Looking at Who You Were. Loved loved loved it.

Amber West takes the Fortune Cookie Cupcake for her entertaining, inspirational and grin-inducing posts. Her Friday Inspiration series is loaded with insight, and she’s consistently one of the first to lend a helping hand.

Susie Lindau takes the Crazy Cake. Whether Susie is giving us glimpses of her “wild ride,” throwing blog bashes or sporting flash fiction, her blog is a crazy-cool treat. Oh, and she’s also a mass murderer

Roni Loren takes the Hot Fodue Cake. Her novel, Crash Into You, caused more perspiration than the stairclimber I read it on. If you know what I mean. It’s one of my favorite reads of 2012, and her writing/blogging posts are some of the best. As for the “cake” portion of this recipe, that’s up to YOU. 😉

Nigel Blackwell takes the Blappleberry Pie Cake for his ability to blend education, entertainment and wit. His post, A Non-Controversial Sockumentary, is one of the most entertaining post I’ve ever read.

Jennifer L. Oliver and M.G. Miller take the (Practically) Instant Chocolate Cake, for Jennifer’s fine author interviews—her latest of which featured M.G. and his spectacular book, Bayou Jesus. Read it. Once you start, you won’t want to waste time slaving over baked goods. This whole grain cake takes minutes in the microwave. And it’s delish.

Debra Kristi, Coleen Patrick, Fabio Bueno and Ellie Ann Soderstrom take Health-Nut Choco-Copia Cake for their versatile mix of upbeat, inspiring posts on everything from mythology and HILARIOUS mistaken song lyrics, to family pets and sustainable agriculture. You can’t go wrong with these sweet tweeps. Ya just can’t.

So there you have it. My baker’s dozen. (Told you we bloggers can break rules. ;)) What blogging ingredients do you find most important? What kind of cake might your blog be?

****If you’re interested in preparing one of the cakes above, hop over to my Facebook author page and place your vote!****

LSR #8: Active Gratitude

One lesson my near six months of blogging has taught me is this:  When my palms sweat and my heartbeat quickens, I’ve probably come upon a post-worthy topic—something that will resonate with, inspire or entertain people in some way. Sharing my personal story last week was no exception. Your warm, heartbreaking and even humorous responses inspired so many chills, I wondered if I’d end up with permanent chicken skin. And you know what? I would’ve worn it with pride.

Thank you with all of my heart!

It seems only reasonable that I jump to #8 in my Lifesaving Resolutions series to what I call active, or proactive, gratitude—a technique that’s helped lift my spirits in countless frustrating situations, from bumpy patches on the road to recovery to harsh literary feedback. I hope you find it as kick-butt-awesome as I do. 😉

grat·i·tude /noun: a feeling of appreciation or thanks —Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Active gratitude involves acting upon these feelings. You know that saying, “Action speaks louder than words?” Well it’s particularly powerful in gratitude matters.

While a grateful person sees a glass as half full and an ungrateful person deems it half empty, an actively grateful person savors the beverage, thanks the preparer and goes on to share the drink with others. 

Active gratitude is also reactive.

On happy days, our blessings seem like lit up billboards in our brains: I love my life! What gorgeous weather! Yeahoo—I’m out of debt! PMS = over! Active gratitude often follows automatically. We smile, observe positivity in others and do good deeds with natural ease. Why? Because happy, grateful people tend to take better care of themselves and others.

In fact, research conducted by Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, a grateful mindset is associated with improved physical health, reduced anxiety and depression, sounder sleep and kinder behavior toward others. (Talk about awesome frosting.)

But we can’t very well activate gratitude if we don’t have any, right? Enter my favorite use of the technique:

On difficult days, we can easily turn inward, fixate on our gloom and throw a nonstop pity-party that does little but make us, and those around us, feel worse. By making the decision to cultivate gratitude and act upon it, the yuck-snowball can boomerang in the opposite direction, turning the nasty grayish ice clumps into sunny warmth. (Ahh…)

Simple Ways to Activate Gratitude:

Commit to a grateful mindset. For practical, entertaining insight on doing so, check out Kristen Lamb’s fantastic post: An Attitude of Gratitude.

Keep a gratitude journal. Simply jotting down your “I’m thankful for” list tends to cultivate grateful living. To take it many steps further, choose an item from your list to act upon each day, week or whenever the blahs set in.

Grateful for the fantastic book you’ve just read? Post a 5-star review on Amazon.com or blog about its awesomeness. Better yet, do both.

Grateful for your health? Schedule that annual physical you’ve been dismissing. Stock up on fruits and veggies. Go for a walk.

Grateful for your significant other? Sneak a love note into his or her work gear. Plan a spontaneous date. Complete a household chore they loathe doing.

Grateful for supportive blogging friends? Post thoughtful comments on their posts. Share links to their blogs via your own blog, email, Facebook and Twitter.

Stressed over finances? Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Donate “junk” from your closet to your local thrift store. Give food or spare change to a homeless person.

Crushed over a rejection letter? Write thank you letters to your loved ones or to your inner child/creativity/writing self. Read to a child or grandparent.

Feeling PMS-ey? Take a loved one who “gets it” out for coffee or, who am I kidding, ICE CREAM. 😉 Cry your eyes out while you’re at it. It’s healthy.

Hungry for more?? Check out these fabulous posts by some of my favorite bloggers:

Julie Hedlund’s tribute to her daughter: Gratitude Sunday 68
Tameri Etherton’s creative pursuit of honing a grateful attitude: New Year’s Resolutions
Piper Bayard’s commemoration of heros from 9/11: We Drank Champagne and Remembered

***My own gratitude inspired the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest, which is coming up February 9th and 10th. If you’d like to participate as a blogger or prize donor, click here.

What are you particularly grateful for this week? How do you plan to express it? Any fab suggestions to add? I love hearing from you.