#GirlBoner Solo Sex: 5 Masturbation Tips Worth Trying

masturbation quote

It would make sense, right? Masturbation is the most common form of sex of all time and invites countless awesome benefits, from improved moods, partner sex and orgasmic euphoria to a lowered risk for heart disease. Talk about sexy medicine!

As you may know, May is National Masturbation Month (thanks to all of you who’ve dropped me notes with reminders!). In other words, it’s as perfect a time as any to seek out ways to make the most of our self-lovemaking time. 😉

5 Masturbation Tips Worth Trying

1. Throw a solo self-love party. What’s the last nurturing thing you did for yourself? What about your body? Setting aside time for a bit of solo Girl Boner love is a beautiful way to show yourself, body, sexuality and even your partner—who will benefit from your many perks—that you care. Pour some wine, light candles, start the romantic tunes or an erotic video and play! Short on time? A solo quickie can help zap the lows of a long or stressful day and help you snooze better later. For even more sexiness, tell your partner about it later. (Ooh, la LA!)

2. Try new positions or toys. Would you want to make love with a partner exactly the same way time after time? Adding variety to your solo-sex life brings more fun and novelty to the experience while teaching you new techniques and turn-ons you can enjoy with or without a partner thereafter. If you typically have sex in bed, try the sofa or ride on a pillow-topped footstool. If you normally use a vibrator, try a dildo or your fingers. If you tend to lie on your front or back, try lying sideways.

3. Get yourself off in public. Well, fairly in public. 😉 Dr. Jennifer Landa, a physician and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women, suggests having solo sex just about anywhere using a vibrating device you can slip into your panties and operate with a cordless remote. (I’m not sure how my highly sensitive clitoris would react to this, but it seems worth trying!) You could also have your partner operate the controls — YOWZA — or try hiding away in a restroom or your car to subtly bring yourself to climax through other means. Obviously, discreetness is important. 

4. Add nipple-gasms to the mix. Research shows that stimulating our nipples lights up the brain much like genital stimulation does. Cosmopolitan writer Natasha Burton recommends spending a few minutes playing with your nipples during masturbation, which, she says, brings many women to the scrumptious Big O. Use your fingers or try a nipple sucker, such as these devices, which can also be used on your clit.

Credit: Wiley Publishing/Barry Komisaruk

Credit: Wiley Publishing/Barry Komisaruk

5. Make it a priority.  We women are notorious for putting others’ needs before our own. If you love your body enough to stay physically active, eat well or see your doctor annually (I hope you do!) but fail to consider sexual self-TLC, you could be seriously missing out. Loving yourself through solo-sex helps facilitate healthier, happier intimate relationships, keeps our libido strong and improves our physical and emotional health. And heck. It’s a lot cheaper than therapy! (Not that there’s anything wrong with therapy, of course.) Put it on your calendar, if need be. You and your Girl Boner deserve it!

For more Masturbation Month fun, check out Kitt Crescendo’s post, Lessons in Going Solo. She’s shared groovy tips on partner masturbation, lubing your way to sexy bliss and more.

Which tip intrigues you most? Any to add to my list? As always, I adore your respectful thoughts! ♥

#GirlBoner Quickie: Solo Sex and Body Image

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” ― unknown

Young woman playing with her self on bed

One thing I’ve learned about body image is that self-nurturing goes out the window along with it. When we perceive ourselves as not attractive or worthy of love, we treat ourselves as though we don’t deserve either. Our healthy eating habits tank. We work out excessively or not at all, sleep too much or struggle for any, and let everything from annual physicals and dental checkups to well-deserved rest time slide. If sex enters our brain, it’s likely to seem like a chore, a waste of time or even something horrifying. (“I can’t let him/her see this!”) Luckily, we can turn all of these factors around. From a Girl Boner standpoint, I believe that doing so starts with masturbation.

There’s SO MUCH I’d like to say on this topic, and probably will (though some is top secret for publishing reasons—shhh!). *secures blurt guard* Since we explored self-perception last week, I couldn’t resist at least dipping in today. (I ♥ GB puns!)

“Women who masturbate are usually more comfortable with their bodies and with sex in general,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist and the author of Sex Detox

Multiple large-scale studies have shown that women who masturbate routinely also have more positive self-esteem, positive views on sexuality and happier interpersonal relationships. Sadly, many women feel uncomfortable masturbating or discussing self-stimulation. (I certainly was, early on.) The more we learn about our bodies, and the beautiful things we’re capable of sexually and otherwise, the more comfortable and fulfilled we’re likely to be in our bedrooms, relationships and big, wondrous lives. Don’t you think?

5 Fab Facts About Female Masturbation 

1. Masturbation boosts our moods, instantly. Our levels of feel-good hormones, epinephrine and dopamine, skyrocket during self-arousal. Orgasm furthers these effects, making way for relaxation and a sense of euphoria.

2. Masturbation is a form of self-nurturing. Taking time for ourselves and prioritizing self-pleasure, in my opinion, is a lot like treating ourselves to healthy, gourmet meals rather than scarfing processed food from packages. All self-care habits lend themselves to others; we essentially tell ourselves we’re worthy, which goes a long way.

3. Masturbation staves off infections and disease. Masturbation stretches the mucous in the cervix, according to Sex: A Natural History, by Joann Ellison Rodgers, which acid levels and stimulates “friendly” bacteria production. This allows more fluid to move from the cervix to the vagina, washing away bacteria that cause urinary tract and yeast infections. Sexy self-play also helps relieve pain when infections set in. Masturbation and orgasm are associated with a reduced risk for type 2 diabetes and improved cardiovascular health.

4. Masturbation promotes restful sleep. Many women masturbate to “wind down after a hectic day or to fall asleep at night,” says Carrie Levine, a certified nurse and midwife. In addition to simply feeling good and distracting us from the day’s stress, the happy-hormones released during arousal and climax provide a “warm afterglow” that can help us sleep with peaceful ease.

5. Masturbation improves sex and intimacy with our partners. We can learn so much about our bodies, what feels great and what doesn’t, through self-exploration. “[Masturbation] helps build sexual confidence,”  explains Kathleen Segraves, PhD, a sex therapist and associate professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University. “It helps you guide the partner when you have a partner.” It also helps women who have difficulty reaching orgasm climax with ease, making sex more satisfying for both partners.

All of these solo sexy play perks are associated with positive body image. Stress, illness, a lack of self-care and sleep deficiencies make us feel worse about ourselves. (If you don’t believe me, try looking in the mirror after after a spree of sleepless nights, or when your whole body is pressed with worry.) Next time you’re feeling challenged in any of these ways, I hope you’ll consider a little naked TLC. When you do, try looking in the mirror afterward. I’m telling you—instant improvements. 😉 If you’re new to masturbation, check out Dr. Laura Berman’s article, A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation, for some stellar tips.

Have you noticed a link between your body image and sexuality? Are you comfortable talking to girlfriends or your partner about masturbation? Any related questions or topics you’d like Girl Boner to address? All respectful thoughts are welcome. You can also join me on Twitter and the Girl Boner Facebook page for between-post fun.