#OrgasmQuest, Depression and Sex in the Digital Age

As soon as I saw the Huffington Post’s headline, This Woman Is Live-Tweeting Her Quest To Have An Orgasm While On AntidepressantsI knew I had to learn more. The more I learned, the more stoked I became about the story’s leading lady, Crista Anne. I couldn’t have been more thrilled when she agreed to an interview.

The sex educator, blogger and mother of four has struggled with depression since birth. When a new medication began improving her wellbeing significantly, all would’ve been fabulous—if it didn’t interfere with her ability to orgasm. Sex-positive to the core, she set her sights on restoring climax capabilities, sharing her mission on Twitter and her blog and quickly attracting media attention.

Crista Anne had wonderful thoughts to share on mental illness, our bodies and the damaging taboos surrounding both. Listen to our chat using the link below, then pop back to read our after-chat.

The episode also features my interview with Chad Kultgen, a controversial author whose novel Men, Women & Children brilliantly illustrates ways internet technology affects many people’s lives and relationships. Oh, and he also shared one of the most incredible animal stories I’ve ever heard. Seriously, you don’t want to miss it! I may never look at squirrels the same way again…

Girl Boner Radio with August McLaughlin:

#OrgasmQuest and Sex in the Digital Age

iammightypurewand

Crista Anne, in all her rainbow wonder! #OrgasmQuest

An After-Chat with Crista Anne of #OrgasmQuest

August: What’s one thing you wish would change in how we deal with or view mental illness in the U.S.?

Crista Anne: Narrowing it down to one thing froze my brain for a moment there. I suppose most of all I wish that mental illness was viewed like any other serious health condition, because it is. Cancer kills, so does depression. That would be a glorious start.

August: What’s one of the most common myths about depression?

Crista Anne: That depression can just be willed away. That people can just decide not to be depressed, or that we’re lazy. Depression is an illness. The brain can get sick, just like any other part of your body.

August: I love that sex toys, along with masturbation, have helped you manage your illness. Any personal favorites?

Crista Anne: My personal favorites as of this moment are the Njoy Pure Wand, Original Magic Wand and the Tantus Tsunami dildo. The combo of the magic wand and tsunami is was helped get me that first masturbatory orgasm!

August: What type of toy would you recommend to someone who’s new to, er, toyland?

Crista Anne: A lot of people suggest weak, “non-threatening” vibes to folks who are new to toys, which actually annoys me a great deal. A weak vibe isn’t going to show people the glorious things that sex toys have to offer! A We-Vibe Tango is a “lipstick” style (the shape of the vibe resembles new lipstick with a flat area at the head, which is where they get the name) bullet vibe that has a great deal of power, is decently quiet, waterproof and rechargeable.

August: Many parents aren’t sure how to talk to their kids about sexuality. Any suggestions for newbies?

Crista Anne: Start early with simple things like modeling consent (they don’t have to give hugs if they don’t want to, stop tickling when they say stop) and using anatomically correct terms for body parts. When they are young, we started telling the kids that we needed Mommy & Daddy time to spend together without kids around so we can have special grownup time. When kids naturally start exploring their bodies, we teach them that we only touch our bits (since we have kids with penises and vulvas it’s our catchall term) with clean hands and when they have privacy. Visit the Scarleteen website, which is geared for teens but has a great deal of information and ideas on how to start these conversations. Kids are going to pick up on how uncomfortable their parents are when having these conversations, so try and get an idea of what you want to before hand. Practice if needed so you can come off as approachable instead of uncomfortable and unapproachable.

August: May I send you some Girl Boner goodies as a thanks for being awesome?

Crista Anne: Always! I am shameless when it comes to swag. I’ll return the favor when I restock my Crista Anne goodies.

****

How exciting! You know what else is exciting? Crista Anne will be joining us for #BOAW2015. If you haven’t yet registered and would like to, visit this post. For tips and reminders along the way, RSVP on the Facebook event page.

What did you think of the interviews? How about #OrgasmQuest? Has mental illness affected your ability to maintain a healthy, happy sex life? I always love hearing from you! ♥

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7 Comments

  1. Thanks, August, I always learn something here.
    Scott

    Reply
  2. Yet another great interview and much to think about, especially in terms of mental health issues. What a brave woman she is. The two interviews complement each other quite nicely. Who knew that about squirrels? And yes, I, too, learn something every time I listen. Thanks, August!
    Karen

    Reply
  3. Some people have mental illness conditions (OCD being at the top of the list) that become so strong they can no longer survive. Literally. A mental institution was their last stop, before they were either kicked into the street by their families, or committed suicide. It was discovered that serotonin transmission network in the frontal lobe of the brain was the culprit, but there was no cure. Some people had surgery to have part of their brain’s frontal lobe removed, their agony was so great. The surgery was banned in the US, so people with enough money went to Europe to have it done. It was unpredictable, many people lost a great deal of mental ability. The SSRI medications, Prozac and Zoloft, were discovered and they miraculously cured the frontal lobe problem. Huzzah! Except for one little thing: The libido was neutralized, and people had no sexual sensations. They were sane, but neutered. I unabashedly admit to having recurring bouts with this issue. There is no real choice – stop the meds and you end up in the mental ward. Stay on the meds and you return to a normal life – except for one little problem. You have a wonderful site August, a place where people can learn about touchy or even embarrassing issues that humans are sometimes forced to deal with.

    Reply
  4. “The brain can get sick, just like any other part of your body.” Love that sentence! Thanks Crista Anne, for putting yourself out there to raise people’s consciousness about these issues. And thank you, August, for hosting her.

    Reply
  5. Kourtney Heintz

     /  February 16, 2015

    “The brain can get sick, just like any other part of your body.” It’s such a simple and true statement, but I think it scares people to think that our minds are just as susceptible to disease as other parts of our body. Thanks for shining a bright light on this August!

    Reply

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