Embracing Your Sexy Self: 4 Important Steps #GirlBoner

Hi all,

Happy New Year! I hope your 2015 is off to a start as brilliant as you.

Today I’ve decided to share a portion of the transcripts from my latest Girl Boner Radio episode, partly thanks to a fab blog reader‘s request. Check out my intro and tips for embracing your sexy self below, then hop over to iTunes or Stitcher Radio to hear the full show, which includes my chat with adult star Layton Benton. She shared awesome insight on being a woman of color in the adult entertainment industry, using her favorite sex toys for increased confidence and celebrating our bodies—curves and all!

♥ August

4 Powerful Ways to Embrace Your Sexy Self (partial transcript)

“Love, romance, and sex are all emotions capable of driving men to heights of super achievement. Love is the emotion which serves as a safety valve, and insures balance, poise, and constructive effort. When combined, these three emotions may lift one to an altitude of a genius.” — Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

I spent a few days last week in Minnesota, what I like to call, Minne-arctica, having a blast with family. On the plane ride back to LA, I read Think & Grow Rich. In case you aren’t familiar, it’s a self-help book on cultivating wealth, based on 20 years of Hill’s research. Though it was written in 1937, the book remains popular today—touted by motivational thought leaders, such as Tony Robbins.

Think & Grow Rich was written before women had many opportunities for professional success, but of the mega successful men Napolean Hill studied, he found many commonalities—including having high sexual energy and love from a kickass woman. (Okay, I added kickass to that statement, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.)

Sex and love are closely linked with creative genius and self-confidence, both of which make way for abundance of all kinds in or lives. Hill isn’t the only one to recognize this.

Creative artists tend to have more sexual desire and partners than non-artists, according to recent studies. Theories vary as to why. I personally believe it has a lot to do with living full, authentic lives. Artists tend to step into their emotions and desires and embrace them—even if they don’t match up with others’ standards or popular opinion.

Authentic rebels rule. Seriously.

So what about women who lack sexual self-confidence? Who dislike and shun their bodies as so many do? Here’s what I think:

Without embracing our bodies and sexuality, we run the risk of being stifled in many ways, not just sexually. That’s really the motivation for Girl Boner. Knowing that self- and sexual- embracement can open the gates to our biggest, boldest, wildest, awesomest—is that a word?—dreams gets me out of bed in the morning, because I’ve lived it and really believe all women can experience the same.

Once we do, life and our dream-work won’t suddenly become effortless, but it will be authentic. And that is the foundation for all greatness, in my opinion—and our ability to live healthy, gratifying lives…

I shared some practical ways to feel more sexually assured in our show back in April, Let’s Get Naked! (And in this blog post.) Here are are a few less conventional, but powerful ways to boost sexual and self confidence:

  • Meditate. If we can’t have stillness with ourselves, we can’t expect to be fully present with others. Meditation—and its sexy benefits—helps create compassion with ourselves. There’s little more confidence-boosting than that… (MORE)
  • Move away from toxic people. Did you know that spending time around people who fixate on and over-value aesthetics is known to lower your body image and lead to risky behaviors, like dieting? That’s just one example. While I believe that no one can “make” us feel any particular way, why spend time with people who aren’t on as positive and empowering of a journey as you are? 
  • Prioritize sexual connectedness with yourSELF. Too often, I think, folks are worried about performing well, giving great oral or seeming sexy enough for someone else. All of that is more likely to feed insecurity than confidence. It can also keep us from knowing what are wants and needs are. We don’t want to be selfish, of course, but we should value and accept our fantasies, preferences, bodies…and what makes them tick and THEN share and explore with a partner, or partners, if we so choose.
  • Prioritize your passions (or finding one) every day. The buzzy/yummy feeling going after our passions is very similar to sex drive—and have similar effects on the brain. Next time you feel butterflies for a lover, knowing sexy fun is coming (scrumptious pun!), take note. Then observe how you feel when you’re chasing your dreams. The same energy can flow both ways; when we embrace one, the other benefits and vice versa… (MORE)

*****

To learn more and hear my interview with AVN-award nominated adult film star and model, Layton Benton, visit this link on iTunes:

Embracing Your Sexy Self & My Chat with Layton Benton

GirlBonerRadio_Layton Benton
To stay in Layton’s loop, follow her on Twitter: @MsLaytonBenton.

What did you think of our chat? What about Layton’s tips for boosting sexual confidence, or mine? As always, I adore your respectful thoughts! ♥ For occasional updates on new products, opportunities and exciting news, feel free to sign up for my brand spankin’ new newsletter here.

Leave a comment

14 Comments

  1. I love the insights in this post, especially the conclusions you drew from the book “Think & Grow Rich.” Here’s to authentic rebels everywhere! 😉

    Reply
  2. Very interesting. Sexual liberation certainly is important. It’s unfortunate that there’s so little information for women out there. So many have a hard time getting off or even enjoying sex and many of my friends think they’re weird when, in reality, a lot of women are having these problems and they seem to be mainly psychological.

    Btw, your blog has helped me immensely. Thank you, you’re doing an awesome sex positive job 🙂

    Reply
    • I’m so happy to hear you’ve found my blog helpful, Gry! You’re so right about the lack of useful information for women, as well as the role of psychology. Little by little, we can all make a difference by embracing sex positivity. Thanks for doing so! 🙂

      Reply
  3. So, a few hours before I read this post, I was making love with my Accomplice, and story ideas were rolling through my mind…thankfully, that’s not a problem for him!

    I never really thought about the direct connection between sexual and artistic creativity in quite this way before…but I’m thinking now! =D

    And I will be meditating more this year, so yay!

    Reply
  4. Raani York

     /  January 10, 2015

    Thanks for sharing a wonderful blog post full of advice! I love reading your blog posts. And if possible go and listen to your radio show. Unfortunately I still have troubles to be able to get it quite often. 😦

    Reply
    • So glad you find the posts helpful, Raani! Have you tried listening to my show through Stitcher Radio? Some folks have better luck there. If not, let me know and I’ll beat down some doors for you. 🙂

      Reply
  5. August, I think you may know that I am in the middle of a huge personal change in my life; not going to discuss that here, but it fits in with the fact that I see my sexual energy and possibilities going up with all the changes I am going through as well. Sexual energy and possibilities seem to be on par with good positive and authentic change.

    Reply
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