#GirlBoner Resolutions: 25 Sex Goals Worth Setting

Whether we love, loathe or trudge through them, the holidays are a prime time for reflection. One year comes to a close, opening a brand new one. What appears beyond that door relies largely on our choices. While I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions, I embrace any opportunity to examine the then and now with striver’s eyes.

What can we do to live better? Bolder? Happier? What are we willing to face, change, sacrifice or embrace? These questions paired with action can make the hum drum extraordinary, the pretty-darn-good freaking awesome and, if the masses partake, the whole world a better place. What does this have to do with Girl Boner?

Everything.

Sex is so much more than intercourse or procreation. Here at Girl Boner Central, we believe that sexuality is as prevalent in the air we breathe and the music in our hearts as it is in our doings (or not doings) between the sheets. When we deny sexual aspects of ourselves, which too many women sadly do, we’ve little hope of living or loving to the fullest.

As we head into 2013, I hope you’ll consider the sexual goddess you are.

Whatever makes you feel sexy, I hope you'll wear it.

Goddesses come in all shapes and styles.

Girl Boner Goals Worth Setting

While different GB strokes work for different folks (I ♥ puns!), the following resolutions can help increase Girl Boner gusto, sexual pleasure and overall wellness. If a better sex life makes your wish list, you may want to…

1. …talk about sex! More often, openly or honestly with your partner or trusted friends.

2. …masturbate—at all or more often.

3. …experiment with sex toys or other forms of sexual play.

4. …learn to embrace your body as is.

5. …strive for more orgasms, or any.

6. …seek your G-spot! You’ll know what to do next. 😉

7. …explore erotica.

8. …stop telling yourself you’re too ________ (old, fat, boring, ugly…).

9. …look at your vagina with a hand held mirror. Study and explore its beauty.

10. …take an inventory of your sex life. (We can’t hope to improve that which we don’t acknowledge.)

11. …fantasize, boldly. Put safe ones into play.

12. …stop dieting.

13. …prioritize your sexual wellness. Make that overdue gyno appointment.

14. …read sexually empowering books and magazines.

15. …say ‘yes’ more often to your partner, if you tend to decline.

16. …prioritize sleep.

17. …exercise routinely, and work those sex muscles!

18. …pamper yourself for less sex-preventing stress.

19. …sensualize your bedroom.

20. …let yourself think like a stereotypical man now and then. Fantasize. Undress attractive others with your eyes. Give yourself permission to want. (I stole this one from Oprah Magazine.)

21. …have sensual photos taken.

22. …vajazzle! (Huh, you say? Read this post by Natalie Hartford.) You could also try a bikini wax or other grooming techniques.

23. …stop faking orgasms.

24. …empower yourself by seeking support from a qualified expert, such as a sex therapist.

25. …pursue your passions in life.

One of my goals is to make Girl Boner-land as aroused, empowering and engaging as possible. Toward that end, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

We’ll delve further into the above listed items down the road. In the meantime, any thoughts or questions about them? Which strike a chord with you? What else would you like to find in Girl Boner-land?

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23 Comments

  1. Reblogged this on Claire Croxton Romance Author and commented:
    I like August’s take on life. She could be Luna Zega’s publicist!

    Reply
  2. Great post, August! I particularly appreciate points 4, 8,23. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Love it. I am adding all 25 to my “to do” list. My favorites are to say yes more often, prioritize sleep, exercise and to view myself (whatever weight etc) as beautifully routinely. And of course…this year I am determined to try vajazzling! BAM!

    Thanks for the uber shout out. LOVE GBC (Girl Boner Central) and can’t wait to see what the New Year brings!!

    Reply
  4. Hey, August! I would have voted for the even mix had it been more specifically directed toward GB tips and testimonials.

    “Health and Wellness” suggests articles on overall health — important, valuable information to have. Having said that, this series has become the one place I can hang out, learn about sensuality — specifics — and share my experiences in nominally censored detail.

    Strengthening Kegels? The how to’s and benefits of — for both partners? I’m all over that, plus G-spot, erotic zones, and links for specific details. Many might also benefit from advice on how to approach a discussion aimed at flipping the “faking it” to “making it” coin with a long-term partner. Let’s face it. Someone’s ego may get bruised, and my bet is it won’t be the female in the relationship.

    I’ll be back [you have been warned :-)] to give you my faves from the list. I got a head start on my new year when this series began.

    Nix the saying about curiosity killing the cat. I think it may waken the cougar. Just sayin’…

    Reply
    • Sorry for the confusion there, Gloria! The personal stories and health/wellness information here on Mondays will ALL continue to relate to female sexuality. And you’re right: Faking orgasms doesn’t much help anyone.

      I look forward to hearing your favorites! May we all embrace and release our inner-cougars. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Except for #6,9,13 (I believe that’s all), that’s not a bad list for guys either.
    Scott

    Reply
  6. Rob Ryder

     /  December 17, 2012

    Re #9 – mirror work. Many moons ago I met this fantastic girl on a movie set in New York – we were both production assistants and hungry for Hollywood. We moved here separately but soon hooked up. She was from Texas, a true cowgirl, and would say stuff like – “You’re just a young crow – all mouth and rear end.” Anyway, this young woman was fantastic in bed – truly adventurous – but had never had an orgasm. We tried everything. And I mean everything (use your imagination). Although I was still a young buck, I had a basic understanding of the differences between men and women and the build to orgasm. The setting, the mood, the love, the tenderness, the hours of foreplay… But she simply couldn’t get there. So being the practical Texan she was, she enrolled in a sex ed class and dragged me along (like bringing a horse to the vet).

    In retrospect, it was basic stuff – but the instructor spent a lot of time on mirror work. When we got back to her apartment up on Beachwood, she ran to the bathroom, grabbed a mirror, stripped down and took a look. “Whoa,” she said (probably just how she reacted upon seeing a stallion’s schlong at the age of three). “That’s what it looks like?” “Yes,” I answered. “Isn’t it beautiful?” (See what a quick study I was?) “Uh, I guess…” she said.

    But she was fascinated, and spent at least an hour a day gazing in the hand mirror at her wonderful puss and admiring her full naked body in the wall mirror. We followed the other instructions. We were kind, loving, romantic. We stopped the pursuit of orgasm and fell into a very sensual lifestyle. Until we were both so horny we could hardly stand it. Then we started making love again. And she felt empowered to tell me what was working for her and what wasn’t. This was tricky stuff as our egos are so sensitive to criticism. We stayed away from intercourse and concentrated on finger play. She liked being on her stomach, her legs spread, me on my side, pressing up against her, my hand on her ass, my fingers moving from her clit to her vagina then back to her clit again when suddenly she began whispering, “Yes, keep it moving there, like that. Just like that.” And so it went, no rush, no false urgency, just me following directions, until I could see her body begin to flush, her breath quickening, her ass quivering as she said, “Faster now. Faster. Like that. Just like that.” And then finally she came. For the first time in her life. This cowgirl from Texas.

    She cried and kissed me and looked into my eyes and said, “Whoa.”

    Reply
  7. Nice story there, Rob Ryder. And speaking of stories, the writer who piqued my interest in stories was Jack Woodford, who said nearly all stories are sex stories, from Jane Austen in both directions. They differ a little in how explicit they are.

    Reply
  8. What a fun list August! Could make for a fun new year 🙂 Frederick’s of Hollywood can make any gal feel sexy no matter your body type and a visit to toy stores with your partner is fun.

    OK, but I seriously never understood the cliche about women faking orgasms. Is that one really, really true? Why would anyone do that? Make your partner take care of business in any fashion, just enjoy the event for what it was, and wait for next time, or just get up and go do something better with your time – life is too short and why lie about it?? Do women really do that? I thought it was something just in the movies like Harry Met Sally.

    Reply
  9. Excellent list, August. In fact, I think I’ll print it out and hang it right next to “How to Love Yourself Unconditionally.” You know, I used to relish such a list when I was single — it was natural, no list was even needed. Admittedly, it’s more of an effort once married and perhaps therefore, even more important to have a printout as a reminder. (Any such list for a male?) I look forward to more hints on girl bonerisms. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Raani York

     /  December 18, 2012

    Okay, August. That was pretty helpful (mildly expressed of course!!)
    I DEFINITELY like this list and there are a few things I would love to do and a couple I NEED to do – like accepting myself as beautiful the way I am – and to sleep!
    There are more things I’d love to do and/or repeat… even though I’m not sure I should since last time I got a full wax I nearly swallowed my tongue, it hurt so badly… jeeeeeez, I thought she’ll pull out ALL hair, not only the ones she was supposed to. I’m kind of scared my favorite hair salon needs to close…
    As for the vajazzling… I read Natalies blog post… I think I might wait until she’s done it and left the note for us. LOL

    Reply
  11. Brilliant list. I’m printing this out. The only thing I’ll add is: Make the initiative more often.

    Reply
  12. I’m back, August! I warned you.

    Loved Rob’s perspective above. I hadn’t thought about the benefits of a hand mirror.

    The only thing I’d change about your list is to move “stop faking orgasms” chronologically before “say yes more often.”

    Yes, I realize your list wasn’t in chronological order.

    Yes, I realize faking orgasm would (for me) be like cheating at solitaire. But, it’s a promise I’ve made to myself for the future.

    News flash! My package for my personal stocking stuffers arrived today. I have the book I Love Female Orgasms, Don Wand, and — [ACK! Can’t remember his name*] Dildo.

    *I am such a slut — but an ethical one. 😉

    Reply
    • You deserve a Girl Boner crown, Gloria. I agree that engaging in sex, and initiating, as Reetta pointed out, should take precedence over orgasm authenticity.

      Congrats on your gifts! I hope you enjoy them all. Go ahead and name Mr. Dildo as you see fit. 😉 #EthicalSlutsUnite

      Reply
  13. Great list, August. and something i’ve never seen all in one place before. well done. i’m going to take a few of them and add to my goals for next year.

    Reply
  14. 1EarthUnited

     /  December 20, 2012

    wow that’s quite a list, when would we find time to blog? 😀
    Happy holidays!!

    Reply
  15. It’s nice that you’re open about this. Around here (your blog), its normal to be sexual. That’s not something you come across very often. Thanks. 😉

    Reply
  16. August…you’ve been so awesome. I’ve nominated you for Blog Of The Year.

    Reply
  17. You’re one heckuva writer/woman, August! Great list!

    Reply
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