An Interview with OWFI (And I Have the Grooviest Friends)

I’m having one of those heart-gushy, “I’m so freaking grateful” moments, thanks to my friend and insanely talented author Mike Miller, and Patty Stith, president of the prestigious Oklahoma Writers’ Federation Inc.. A week from today, I’ll be mingling with wonderful wordsmiths, sharing some insight and soaking in even more in Oklahoma. I’d take such a conference over a Bahamas cruise any day of the year.

I’m honored to be a guest on Patty’s OWFI blog today, answering questions about writing, my career, gender swapping and more. ;) I hope you’ll check it out. To read the interview, click the above link or this photo:

OWFI blog

If you haven’t yet registered for OWFI and would like to, there’s still time! For more details, visit OWFI.org. You can also keep up with the conference via Twitter, using hashtags #OWFI and #OWFI13.

 

The 500 Hats of Blog-tholomew Cubbins: Reducing Social Media Stress

Have you ever read The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins? It’s a Dr. Seuss story, set in feudal times, featuring a poor boy named Bartholomew. One day while riding through a market, he removes his hat to abide by the law. Once he does, another hat appears in its place. The same thing happens repeatedly, each hat appearing more extravagant than the last, until eventually, the king offers him reprieve and riches for the spiffy 500th. Finally, the boy can breathe easy! The prize was worth the stress and confusion.

Bartholomew reminds me of modern-day writers. Each time we move forward in our careers, we expose more of ourselves, gaining riches and, very often, stress. Every achievement—finishing a draft, landing representation, publishing—seems to invite an additional part-time, or even full-time, job. But we still only have one head!

As some of you know, I first delved deep into social media engagement upon my agent’s suggestion. And holy schmoley, did it feel like a ton of work. I researched the various platforms like crazy and raced through Kristen Lamb’s books in two days, spending the little sleep I could manage in between dream-tweeting. I’m pretty sure I looked something like this:

Social media stress

Since then, I’ve learned ways to fit social media into my writing life without going padded-wall crazy. Over time, it’s felt less like enigmatic work, and more like an enjoyable blessing. I’m sure many of you can relate.

As with most aspects of our careers, it’s important to utilize social media practices that work for us individually. I thought I’d share practices that seem to work well for me, and invite you all to chime in with your fabulous thoughts.

The following habits help keep me productive and sane—pretty simple and straightforward:

1) Save social media for warmups, breaks and cool downs. Social media is for authors what stretching is for marathoners. Our blogs, Twitter and Facebook shouldn’t rule our time, or take precedence over our primary writing. Saving social media for downtime and breaks helps on multiple levels. Shifting gears helps keep our other brains and work fresh; engaging in social media can bring respite, support and fun.

2) Write your most important work when your brain works best. I went into detail on this topic in an earlier post. Basically, working hardest mentally during our “golden hour,” or when we tend to feel the sharpest and most creative allows us to make the most of our time. (I’d personally rather wake up at 5am and work like crazy until mid-day than write at night, when my brain is somewhat mushy.)

3) Take breaks from it ALL. This has been a tough one for me to master, but I’ve learned that working non-stop doesn’t help anything. We can be more productive, creative and efficient if we allow ourselves wiggle room and, you know, that thing called life. Music, friends and my dog help me stay semi-balanced. I’m super grateful for that.

4) Learn to say ‘no.’ This is a biggie. Saying ‘yes’ to too many other tasks or events says ‘no’ to writing time. While breaks and days off are invaluable, they won’t do much if we have scarce work-time left over. If you’re overextended, try cutting back, or ask others for help. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that self-care makes us more enjoyable to be around. (Totally true for me.)

5) Be yourself. Aiming for popularity rather than authenticity doesn’t work well on-line, in my opinion. If we view social media as an extension of ourselves, we don’t have to try so hard—which can stressful and time consuming. Since people tend to recognize and appreciate authenticity, being ourselves naturally attracts engagement and support. If you’re like most writers I know, you enjoy supporting others. So if for no other reason—of which there are many—do that, too.

6) Savor the path. Back to Bartholomew: the prize is in the bedazzled journey. If we enjoy the process, and aren’t crippled by fear or self-doubt, our treasures will only brighten. Sure, we might (okay, will) get criticized along the way. But if we take it all in stride, write because we love writing and remain gentle with ourselves, we’ll reap less stress and more joy. Every day may not be sparkly, but embracing the whole shebang can make it all worthwhile.

Related links you may find helpful:

5 Quick Facebook Tips for the Busy and Shy, by Gene Lempp
25 Things Writers Should Know About Social Media, by Chuck Wendig
I is for Introvert: How Do You Know if You’re an Introvert or an Extrovert? (and how it affects blogging), by Jenny Hansen

Have you found ways to manage social media without feeling stressed or lost for time? What works best for you?

Soul-Speak and Sundaes: Saying YES to Writing Dreams

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”  — Oscar Wilde

Love Heart on the beach

Last spring I shared a post called Saying No — A Successful Writer’s Must. We can’t fulfill our creative goals if we say yes to everything/everyone 100% of the time, I asserted. If we do, we’re essentially saying no to our dreams. Today I want to talk about the flip-side: the importance of saying yes to not only our goals, but our hearts and instincts.

As some of you know, I provide nutritional therapy and mentorship to individuals with psychiatric conditions, namely eating disorders. I can often predict whether an individual is going to recover successfully by the way she talks about her goals and dreams outside of her illness. Consider the following examples:

Alexa: “I can’t think about anything else, and I don’t want to. Controlling my weight is all I know. It makes me happy, or at least the happiest I could be. I don’t have other interests. This is it.”

Jen: “All I know is I don’t want to feel like this. I can’t fucking take it anymore! Sure, I had dreams once. I used to paint and make jewelry. I was going to start my own line someday. [sarcastic laugh] I don’t even have friends anymore…”

Sandy: “I miss the piano. I’ve been playing a little again… [smile] I’m good at my job, but it doesn’t make me happy. Maybe it’s silly, but I feel like I could write songs. And maybe teach.”

You can probably guess that Sandy has the greatest odds of recovery. She has something beyond her illness to say yes to, and a genuine desire to do so. Jen can get there too. If she continues to explore her frustration, it can be the launchpad for positive change. Alexa has the toughest cards in her deck. Until she starts questioning her disease and believing in, or at least hoping for something brighter, she’ll likely remain stuck or worsen.

As artists, denying our hopes and dreams is like a disease. On the milder end, we suffer artistic “colds,” mere sniffles and congestion from too little artistic nurturing. In the worst cases, we stifle our dreams completely. I’m pretty sure this can land me in the hospital. (Arguably, it has.)

We are blessed to have passions and dreams. Saying no to influences that draw us away from them won’t do much good if we then fail to say YES! to our hearts’ desires.

I’ve been reminded of this recently. Since my book release, even amidst the euphoria, I sensed a sort of void—a nagging feeling in my gut. I thought I merely missed writing fuller-time, having taken on marketing and promotions, but there was something more. A book project has been knocking on my heart’s door, and though it wasn’t my intended next step, I have to pursue it. Sure, it makes my workload heftier, but at the risk of seeming melodramatic, it makes my soul lighter. I bounced out of bed at five this morning, eager to dive in. Upon making the decision, my mood turned sunnier, and the body aches I barely recognized have vanished. It’s a lot like falling in love.

When our soul speaks, we best listen. I’ve learned this repeatedly. I see it in my own life, and in the lives of inspiring individuals facing seemingly unbeatable odds. I’m giddy each time I meet a “Sandy,” for I already sense the wonder she’s going to experience and carry out into the world. Authentic, passionate people make the world a better place. As artists we have significant opportunities to be them.

Yes, I’m an ooey-gooey pile o’ mush today—totally fine by me. As author and activist Geneen Roth wrote in Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Just About Anything, “We don’t want to EAT hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to BE hot fudge sundaes.” There’s nothing wrong with savoring decadent treats, but sometimes our longings run much deeper. The real sweets derive from being true to ourselves.

I hope that whatever dreams your heart holds, you’re going for them. I’d love to hear the ooey-gooey details. What goals are you stoked about? Have you ever felt slightly lost, then found? Do your instincts speak louder than words? I ♥ hearing from you.

Women in the Media: Why Our Stories Count

I wasn’t sure if I would post twice this week, given President’s Day and the soon-coming Beauty of a Woman BlogFest. Then I saw Miss Representation, Jennifer Siebel Newsom’s poignant documentary on the media’s portrayal of women. The 2011 release left me heartbroken and hope-filled, and my teary eyes more fully open. It heightened my determination to keep writing and supporting artists and creative works that uplift women, rather than hold us back or beat us down.

Miss Representation cover

While I was somewhat familiar with its information, Miss Representation gave me perspective regarding facts and notions I’ve wondered about and believed—not simply about media or society, but my personal journey. I also appreciated the fact that the film depicted the misrepresentation of females not as a men versus women or conservatives versus liberals issue, but a human one; we all benefit from balanced, empowering media. If you haven’t seen it, I hope you will.

Startling facts and quotes from Miss Representation:

Women account for 51% of the population, yet hold only 3% of clout positions in telecommunications, entertainment, publishing and advertising. (This doesn’t necessarily make the content “wrong,” but imbalanced.)

“All of Hollywood is run on one assumption: That women will watch stories about men, but men won’t watch stories about women. It is a horrible indictment of our society of we assume that one half of our population is just not interested in the other half.” – Geena Davis

“Women and girls are the subject of less than 20% of news stories. “When a group is not featured in the media… it is called symbolic annhilation.” – Martha Lauzen, Center for the Study of Women in TV and Film

Miss Representation 2

The number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youth 18 or younger more than tripled from 1997 to 2007.

Among youth 18 and younger, liposuction nearly quadrupled between 1997 and 2007 and breast augmentations increased nearly six-fold in the same 10-year period.

65% of American girls and women have reported disordered eating behaviors. (As a side note, a similar percentage of American adults are obese—a direct consequence of media’s portrayal of “beauty,” and the $45 billion diet industry, in my opinion—which is supported by vast amounts of research. ;) )

If you’re as heated up as I am over these matters, good. As Gloria Steinem famously said, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” A little fire can go a long way…

Miss Representation quote KC

Miss Representation illustrates ways in which media can be both powerfully destructive and constructive. I don’t know about you, but Couric’s insight makes me want to join with like-minded others and put my pilot cap.

More than a film, Miss Representation is a campaign. Visit MissRepresentation.org, where you can take a valuable pledge and order the documentary. Miss Representation is also available via Amazon Instant Video.

For more on women in film, check out Karina Wilson’s Lit Reactor article, Screenwriting: Insert Woman Here – Sidestepping the Sausage Fest. It’s an insightful must-read.

If I was excited for the Beauty of A WomanBlogFest II before, I’m excited-on-steroids now. I can’t wait to read participant’s posts as we explore and celebrate real beauty and the women who possess it. If you’d like to sign up, please do so by the end of the day Wednesday, February 20th by visiting BOAW. To participate as a reader, join us here this Friday.

Have you seen Miss Representation? Which of the facts most struck you? What are you willing to do to make media a more balanced, women-supportive place?

20 Ways Writing is (or isn’t) Like Parenthood

“Mothers are all slightly insane.” – J.D. Salinger

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” – E. L. Doctorow

The first time I recall asking my mom how babies are made, she told me that when a man and a woman love each other they pray about it, then the mommy gets pregnant. All through kindergarten I feared that God might mistake any thought I had about babies for prayer and plop a fetus in my belly. (Agh!) If a stomach ache followed, I knew I was in trouble.

Thank goodness it’s not that easy. You know what else isn’t easy? Writing and publishing. Imagine if all we had to do was think about our stories and POOF—fertilized…

Ha! Totally unintentional, where those sperm are semi-swiming...

Ha! Totally unintentional where the sperm are sort of heading…

During my e-book launch in December, I asked you all to tell me how you felt writing was like or unlike pregnancy and parenting. Your answers kept me thoroughly entertained and have proven to me that while there are significant difference between the two, valid parallels exist. I’ve woven some of your answers into the following list.

20 Ways Writing is Like Parenthood

1. The initial seed (idea) feels miraculous.

2. Not every story idea turns out to be Mr./Mrs. Right. Spending too much time with the “wrong” ideas can keep us from birthing anything.

3. Sleep deprivation and stress can be mood killers, and make love story-making feel more like work than play.

4. Once an idea’s born, all kinds of happy, feel-good chemicals release in our brains. Over time, we may have to work harder to keep the excitement going.

5. If getting the story out is delayed, we’re likely to feel huge, as though we’ll POP!

6. For some, the gestation period exceeds that of an elephant. For others, a randy rabbit! Gloria Richard Author

7. Even with painkillers, the birthing process can be excruciating. Should we wait it out while the ideal publishing deal or have a C-section pronto? In either case, once it’s out, our lives will never be the same.

8. Pregnant women tend to focus a disproportionate amount of time and energy worrying about the process of giving birth. They forget that the really hard work begins after the baby is born and continues for the rest of their natural lives. Lesson: Don’t focus so much on the writing of the book that you forget what happens after it’s finished. Audrey Kalman

9. Once “the baby” arrives we protect it like a mother bear and will do everything in our power to give it the best start ever.
At some point our work is done. We have to let it go off into the world on its own… susielindau

10. You feel like you’re never really prepared; yours is more beautiful than anyone else’s and is perfect, except when it’s driving you nuts. Oh, and its younger siblings are always clamoring for attention. Jennette Marie Powell

11. Like any parent, not everyone is gonna love that little baby like Mama does. And that’s the tough part. We Mamas are pretty protective of our babies. As in, “Don’t mess with my baby!” Karen McFarland

12. Sometimes multiples strike our wombs. While two or three can be workable, making like Octo-Mom begets all sorts of problems…

13. Once you birth them, they never go away, LOL, and keep coming back for money. (I know, I know, books are supposed to make you money, but I’m shelling out a lot at the moment on cover artists, copyeditors, and so on, so that’s my frame of reference!). K.B. Owen

14. As book-parents, we’ll have many ups and downs. Support from others is crucial. So is a sense of humor.

15. Raising a book or a baby, there is DOUBT that you are any good at it. Also it’s pretty cool how can you see bits of yourself in them. Coleen Patrick

16. As much as you love your book and try to turn it into the vision you have in your head, sometimes is frustrates you and won’t do what you want it to. Marcy Kennedy

17. Like Kourtney Heintz, your characters could be worse than rebellious teens. She has no control over them.

18. Those cereal killers like to get their Kix in the cereal aisle. lynnkelleyauthor

19. If you leave your writing in the cereal aisle of the supermarket, it goes to the lost and found and you don’t go to jail. Bill Parker

20. Your child (book) will make unexpected-to-you friends. As a result, your horizons will widen, your tolerance will grow, and your world will get bigger. patodearosen

Which item strikes a chord with you? Any more to add? What other writing metaphors/parallels do you use?

If you haven’t yet signed up for the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest II, you still can! Fifteen days and counting… :)

Reassuring Facts for the Creatively Compulsive

Me, "sleeping"

Me, “sleeping”

It happens every year. Leading up to Christmas, I shift into maniacal work mode, as though saving up for time off I claim to be desperate for. Meanwhile, thoughts of curry feasts, bubble baths, peppermint spiced cocoa, hang-time with family and generally partying like the holiday obsessed kid I still am keep me giddy. In recent years, I’ve also claimed that I rest enough, busy or not.

The break adoration and sufficient rest bits? Questionable. While I definitely prioritize both more in recent years, having learned that R&R benefits everything from moods to work quality, my e-book release may have tinkered with that ever so significantly slightly…

On December 26th, while at my parents’ place in Minne-snowda, the combo of overwork and giddiness sent me plummeting from spazmo to sick in a snap. This year my family nearly replied to my sniffling, shivering tankage in unison: “You always get sick after Christmas.”

Oh yeah… At least I didn’t un-eat curry on an elderly woman at Woolworth’s this time, I reminded them, to which their eyes rolled harder. Compulsivity isn’t always pretty, but it can be if channeled appropriately.

The difference a day makes

The difference a day makes

If you’re one who has a tougher time pressing pause than start, I hope you find the following tidbits as comforting as I do.

5 Reassuring Facts for the Creatively Compulsive

1. We’re not alone. Being creatively compulsive can feel lonely, particularly around others who don’t understand. The truth is, many artists function similarly. Connecting through social media or in person with fellow compulsives can remove the edge from lonely feelings. Same for simply realizing that they’re there.

2. Breaks help more than we realize. I’m not the only compulsive in my family. My brother, a visual artist, can be too. Before heading home, we both work like crazy then bring work with us. Once we arrive, our work usually sits in our respective rooms while we chill elsewhere. Post visit, it benefits hugely. If you’re not compulsive, starting is probably toughest. If you are, it’s the stepping into relax time that’s daunting. When it hurts, remind yourself that respite and work are equally important.

3. It’s okay to have an on/off switch. In an interview with Oprah, Simon Cowell shared that he works like a maniac in the midst of projects, then slogs around in a moody, sleepy state for some time after. Bestselling thriller author David Baldacci writes like mad then takes total off time , according to his ThrillerFest talk last year. Daily word count goals and structured time slots work well for many. As compulsives, we’re more likely to have on/off switches, or low, high and highest gears. As long as we can turn them on and off when necessary, we’re gold.

4. Doing what we love isn’t selfish. Doing anything we enjoy can seem selfish, but following our passions makes us stronger individuals, partners, society members and friends. If we’re compelled to write, even during an “inopportune” times, such as during a family getaway, doing so might help us more than the hurt we’d cause by stifling it. When the desire strikes, tell your loved ones you need some craft time. Then if possible, claim it. Even small doses can help. For me, waking up early to write during busy life times is key.

5. Healthy compulsivity pays off. Unlike creative compulsive disorder and hypergraphia, two debilitating conditions, a healthy amount of compulsiveness wisely utilized can facilitate prolificness. Agatha Christie, the world’s bestselling mystery novelist, wrote 69 novels and 19 plays. “The best time to plan a book is while you’re doing the dishes,” she said. It seems that compulsivity and breaks served her well. Regardless of how long it takes to complete our work, intense passion and overwhelming desire to create are gifts to be cherished.

How about you? Are you creatively compulsive? Any challenges, success stories or pointers to share?

My Birthmas Wish and E-Release NEWS!

Dreams shouldn’t have ceilings. Lucky for me, my parents never imposed them.

Some things haven't changed since I was 6.

Some things haven’t changed since I was 6.

This Sunday marks my 34th birthday—birthmas, as I like to call it. Each year for as long as I can remember, I’ve asked myself whether I’ve earned the numerical upgrade. If I’ve prodded further toward my dreams, the answer is yes, this year being no exception. With the release of my first novel underway, I’m feeling exceptionally grateful, particularly since a few months ago, publishing seemed far off.

When I was deciding whether to go the indie-with-an-agent publishing route, my dear friend Bill posted a blog comment that struck me straight in the heart:

Remember the big benefit concert you and your band mate put on, oh, 16 years ago, with a bunch of different local bands? I remember it because that was the first time, out of very many, that I was like, “holy ****, this person is my age, and she decides she wants to do things and just goes out and…like…DOES them!” So, yeah. I don’t know whether I could ever have the willpower or drive to do everything a self-publisher needs to do, and I know for a fact that most people don’t, but I’m pretty sure you’ll rock it in your usual way.

While I was already leaning heavily toward self-publishing, Bill reminded me of a vow I made at the ripe young age of 15. My mother was enduring a brutal battle with depression related to horrific abuse she experienced as a child. A friend in my church’s youth group had been kicked down the stairs by her abusive mother. And my best friend, Kellie, and I had recently learned to play guitar.

These events collided when Kellie and I took a dream I’d had about a song called Matarrah Taray as a sign. The otherwise nonexistent phrase quickly became a real song, the names of our beater guitars (mine Matarrah, hers Taray) and the title of a regional benefit concert to spread awareness regarding child abuse.

Matarah

Matarrah

Many people deemed our mission sweet, but unrealistic. Fueled up with others’ skepticism and passion for the cause, we worked harder, producing press kits, a pasta charity dinner and local coffee house gigs featuring none-other-than us, while talking non-stop about all of it. Gradually, people started paying attention, and no longer in “That’s so cute!” type ways. We were featured in the morning news, a PBS documentary and the Minneapolis Star Tribune, and sang the national anthem at a Minnesota Twins game dedicated to non-violence. Matarrah Taray became a two-year anti-child abuse campaign, culminating in a 16-band concert. In 1996, Kellie and I were awarded the Minnesota Peace Prize for our efforts.

You know what strikes me the most about the experience to this day? The vast number of people who described our “youthful” enthusiasm and belief that anything’s possible, notions they seemed to believe that everyone inevitably outgrows. At one point, I borderline scolded a reporter for referencing our “childlike fervor.” We’ll NEVER stop believing, I told her. Ever. Growing up doesn’t necessitate settling for non-starry skies. I still believe that.

While the accolades were lovely and we raised valuable funds and awareness for a worthy cause, Kellie and I benefitted most. Of the lessons I learned, my favorites still apply today:

  • Genuine goals and dreams are never foolish.
  • Goals and dreams are only meaningless if we withhold them.
  • People will listen (and stuff happens) if we speak up loudly and long enough.
  • Passion trumps know-how, though both are important.
  • Support and skepticism can function as high-grade fuel.
  • Music and words can change the world, if not the whole world, someone’s.
  • There’s no point in stopping dreaming and endless promise in keeping on.

Creating fiction, poetry, music, performance or visual art when our hearts say DO is among the most admirable and important work anyone can accomplish. Publishing our work traditionally or independently when our hearts say DO can turn “childlike” dreams into reality. Dreams are only meaningless when we withhold them.

My birthmas wish is that all of you reading this will take a step toward your wildest dreams. Step into your authentic self and do something awesome. (If you report back later, I’ll bake you a healthy cake.)

I’d also like to extend special thanks to my friends, family, mentors and readers for helping my most recent dream come true. My first novel hit the e-shelves this week! Talk about surreal…

If you’d like to purchase or otherwise support In Her Shadow by sharing links or “liking,” visit:

In Her Shadow on Amazon.com (Kindle version)
August McLaughlin on Amazon.com (my author page)
In Her Shadow on GoodReads

Thanks in advance for any support. ♥ If I can cheer you and your ventures on, please let me know.

***My official release, including the paperback, will take place in January. We’re going to party hardy!***

I’d LOVE to hear from you. What dream are you striving for? If you have trouble conjuring an answer, complete one of the following sentences: If I weren’t afraid (or alternate negative adjective), I would ______________________. If I could take a magic wand to my life, I would _______________________. What extra dream-seeking step are you willing to take? If still nothing pops to mind, I hope you’ll stay open to the possibilities.

Love Your Book? Choose A Great Cover

“Writing a novel… Now THAT’s hard,” my friend Phil said to me recently.

Phil is a neurologist. He’s brilliant enough to understand the inner-workings of the brain and that carving a creative path isn’t easy. To those of us who adore the process, however, it’s worth every brain cell and glucose molecule required.

Brains = Beauty

As many of you know, LOVE has been a theme in my life lately. Deciding to self-publish and related happenings have left me punch-drunk exhilarated. Thanks to Steena Holmes, indie author and graphic/book artist extraordinnaire, my latest heart swell derived from developing my cover—one of the most valuable ways we authors have of showing our work some love.

Having complete control over book covers is a huge benefit of self-publishing. It’s also one of the most important factors separating successful indie-authors and those whose books scarcely see the light of day.

The biggest giveaway that one is dealing with a self-published book is a poorly designed cover, says thriller author and executive editor of CNET David Carnoy, which is too often the case. Traditionally published books with ineffective covers also do poorly. Whether we like it or not, it’s human nature to judge books by their covers.

“Studies show that you have 12 seconds—in a bookstore—to turn a browser into a buyer… Covers are the way that we attract buyers.” — Midwest Book Review

Imagine how much more significant book covers are online, where we can view ten, twenty or more at once.

Choices, choices…

Stories we put our hearts, minds, souls and sweat into should appear as valuable as they are. Because my graphic “art” skills are limited to making :) faces, coloring text and cropping photos, I knew that my cover decision would require serious research and expert insight. Here’s a handful of tips I learned in the process.

7 Tips for Choosing a Great Cover

1. Sit in your story. Close your eyes and think of your book without judgment. If you’re like me, an image (or images) and mood will surface. I carried this habit over from acting to writing, and most recently to choosing my cover.

2. Browse many covers. Go to Google images, Amazon or Barnes and Noble and peruse covers in your genre. Which ones stand out? Turn you off? Which would you buy? It can be tough to convey all we desire to a designer. Having an example can help us formulate our vision and relay it to others.

3. Hire someone awesome! If you’re artistically inclined, you may not want or need help. Otherwise, a fantastic, experienced designer can help ensure cover-creating success. If my book were a Christmas tree, Steena Holmes added lights and a star.

4. Make sure it looks fabulous small. With readers buying continually more books via iPads, smart phones and e-readers, it only makes sense that our covers look sharp as thumbnails.

5. Avoid clutter. Using one main image, not cluttering up the background and using readable, pleasing-to-the-eye font can help accomplish number four. And let’s face it. Clutter is generally unappealing. (Yeah, that funky bed I suggested Steena add? Not so much.)

6. Seek input from qualified others. I asked trusted friends and professionals who are familiar with my novel for their thoughts on my cover along the way. Sharing our covers with the masses too soon could confuse, frustrate or lead us astray. Agents, publishers, artists and experienced authors make valuable choices.

7. Go with your gut. While others’ opinions can help tremendously, choosing a cover that pleases others but doesn’t sit well with us isn’t wise. As with all aspects of writing, I believe that our instincts know best. Like deciding on Mr./Mrs. Right, you “just know.”

When I saw this rendition, the little voice at the back of my head yelped, YES! I’m delighted with it, and hope my readers will be too.

IN HER SHADOW will pre-release in December and officially release in January. I can’t WAIT to share the fun with you all. :)

Steena has a brand spankin’ new book, Dear Jack… A Finding Emma Novella, out TODAY! I’m eager to read the heart-wrenching, hope-filled story, told through love letters. I hope you’ll check it out, too.

What book covers resonate with you? Any design tips to add? Experiences to share? I love hearing from you. ♥

Is it Time to Change Your Blog?

What the heck should I write about? What if no one reads my posts? What if EVERYONE does? What if HE does? Or SHE does?

Many bloggers obsess over ponder these questions early on. Then little-by-little we mature, from little baby blog-o-nitas to blog-alescents until finally, we reach hot blog mama-and-papa adulthood—perfect post, after perfect post. They flow from us like soap bubbles through a blower, impressing every reader equally and never ever causing a lick of stress.

*Falls over laughing* Yes, we gain confidence and skills. But even then, blogging involves continual growth. While that’s a great thing, it can bring growing pains. We may realize we’re posting too frequently or seldom, that our graphics or theme needs work or that we’ve grown complacent, too wordy or sloppy. Blogs grow along with us. It only makes sense that they’d change as we do.

Sometimes the greener grass we seek is right beneath our feet.

I’ve experienced a bit of my own blog-angst recently over a couple of secrets I’ve been keeping from you all. Sorry! Not my preference, trust me. Normally, I write whatever I’m compelled to. But for reasons I shan’t fully disclose (involving technicalities and even legalities), a couple of sizzling-hot tid bits (sizzling to me, anyway) have been growing into untamable flames inside me, making me want to burst on a daily, sometimes more frequent, basis.

So, spill ‘em already! I hear some of you saying. Not yet. ;) I can set the stage, however, by announcing some blog changes I’ll be making pronto:

A new blog schedule. (Did I just use the s-word? Yipes!) Until now, I’ve posted twice most every week, on whatever days I choose. From now on, I’ll aim to post every Monday and Thursday. Guessing many of you haven’t noticed my variance anyway.

Thematic post days: On Mondays, I’ll focus on sexuality, sexual empowerment for women and related topics, such as romance and sexual health. In honor of #ThrillerThursday (a fabulous weekly Twitter event), and my main fiction work, I’ll post on whatever thrills me at the time on Thursdays. This could include writing, books, authors, movies, animals, food, psychology, music—the list goes on, and on… I didn’t mention Mondays’ theme-name, now did I? NOPE! T.B.A. ;)

Perhaps now you can see why the schedule is important. Sex and all-(other ;) )-things-thrilling are vastly different channels. If you’re not into sex-related topics, you can skip over my Monday posts. If you LOVE reading about sexuality, or simply want to join in upbeat, sex-related, empowering, sometimes silly discussion, you might opt to read my blog only on Mondays. Totally up to you, as always. I think this shift will make things easier for all of us.

Making these decisions got me thinking about blog changes in general. We all make tweaks along the way. The following have helped guide my ways.

Signs Your Blog or Blog Habits Need Changing:

1. It takes away from other writing. When I started blogging, I posted three times per week. To keep this up, and work on articles, my novel and semi-keep up with housework and other basics, like showering (well, practically), I quickly learned that two posts worked better. To keep my novel work a high priority, I blog after, and occasionally as a warmup or break.

2. You aren’t in love with your topics. Perhaps love is a strong word, but if we aren’t excited or at least interested in a topic, our posts will probably fall flat. As many of you know, authenticity rules in social media. Don’t fake it. Change it.

3. Your gut says CHANGE. This holds true for all writing, in my opinion. If the little voice in the back of your head says, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” and the thought makes your heart beat a little faster, the voice is probably right. Nervousness and self-doubt may try to mute that voice. Don’t let it.

4. It feels like trivial homework. Blogging should be fun. Many of us blog as part of an author platform, but that doesn’t mean we should dread or drag ourselves through the experience. Even informative posts should be pleasurable to read and write. And I bet I’m speaking for many when I say I’d rather read a post someone had a blast writing than a “perfect” one.

5. You’re unfulfilled. Fulfillment derives from all sorts of stimuli. Posts and topics we care about and interaction with fellow bloggers and readers can be hugely gratifying. If you’re low on the interaction spectrum, make efforts interact more. This post by Kristen Lamb, on improving your “Likability Quotient,” is chock-full of helpful insight. If your posts aren’t gratifying, see #s 1 through 4.

Making changes, and committing to them, can be scary. What if our new content doesn’t jive well with readers? Or topics that seem cool in our heads come out wonky? What if a schedule we set for ourselves seems impossible to maintain? The answer, I’ve decided, is who cares? It’ll all work out somehow, and it’s far better to take the risk—especially if your gut says DO. Transitions may go smooth-as-PB or as clumpy freezer burnt ice cream. Fortunately, the latter—like most obstacles—is fixable. (We can always buy new ice cream. ;) )

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you changed your blog? Are you considering changes? I always love gabbing with you.

Time-Saving Cooking Tips for Healthy Writers

I knew for certain I loved writing when within weeks of committing to the craft my kitchen looked more like a college dude’s than a health conscious adult’s. What should I make for dinner? Let’s see… We have mustard, ancient beer and an entree formerly known as fish. I think. (Ew.)

“Hello..oh…oh…? Is anybody in there?”

Writing like crazy and with gusto is a great thing. Starving ourselves or existing on cereal, Pop Tarts and fast food, not so much. As we’ve discussed here before, our brains require a healthy, balanced diet for proper function. I don’t know about you, but when it comes to my creativity and works-in-progress, I’ll take any effective tool I can get. Whether you’re gearing up for NaNoWriMo or simply wish to up the ante on your wellness, the following tips can help.

10 Time-Saving Ways to Cook Your Way to Better Writing

1. Dust off your crock pot. They aren’t just for savvy grannies anymore. I was living in Paris with a kitchen that consisted of a pop-out burner and a cooler when my mom suggested a slow-cooker. They are the time and money-saving bomb. Recipes for particularly brain-healthy options: Salmon, Veggies & Rice, Quinoa Red Lentil Soup, Chicken with Kale

2. Prepare large batches. Make a big batch of veggie-loaded lasagna, turkey meatloaf, soup or chili to last you several days or more. For healthy frozen meals, freeze single or family-size portions in secure containers. This Whole Wheat Spinach Lasagna is one great option. For you gluten-free folks, use sliced zucchini or brown rice lasagna noodles.

3. Stock up on frozen fruits and veggies. Frozen fruits and vegetables are flash frozen at their nutritional prime, so they’re at least as nutritious as produce-bin items. For healthier throw-it-together meals, add frozen greens or mixed veggies to pasta sauce, leftover mashed potatoes and soups. To add brain-healthy nutrients to oatmeal, add frozen or thawed berries while cooking.

4. Freeze leftover and over-ripe fruits and vegetables. Freezing changes the texture of fruits and vegetables, but maintains their freshness. Freeze peeled bananas and other fruit for use in smoothies. For an ultra-filling smoothie, blend 2/3 cup frozen blueberries with 1 banana, a tablespoon of ground flaxseeds and 1 cup of Greek yogurt or milk. Chop up leftover greens, such as kale and spinach, for use in sauces, soups and smoothies. Bonus: No thawing required.

Berry smoothies knock OJ out of the park.

5. Freeze batches of cooked grains. Preparing large batches of brown rice, wild rice and quinoa then freezing single or family-size portions in freezer bags can cut an hour or more of cooking time, plus cleaning time, from your days. You can also purchase pre-cooked frozen whole grains at most grocery stores, which cost more, but save time.

6. Become a one-pot rockstar. There are zillions of healthy one-pot recipes available, which reduce prep and cleanup time significantly. (Hallelujah for that!) For some delicious, nutritious ideas, check out these Healthy One-Pot Soup, Stew and Chili Recipes at Epicurious.com.

7. Give your restaurant leftovers healthy makeovers. We all dine out occasionally, sometimes due to an empty refrigerator. When you do, reserve leftovers to work into a healthy meal the next day. Roasted, steamed and seasoned vegetables work well in soups, pasta and rice dishes. Leftover meats can be diced up for salad topping and sliced up for sandwich filling. Breads (preferably whole grain) can be dried and crumbled into breadcrumbs for use in meatloaf and baked, chicken parmesan.

My favorite use of leftover Indian food: whole grain, veggie-loaded, chicken tikka pizza. Stir tamarind chutney into tomato sauce for added zest.

8. Stock your pantry with healthy staples. Whole grain rice and quinoa mixes, whole grain pastas and canned goods, such as diced tomatoes (which aren’t typically as nutritious fresh during winter months), reduced sodium beans and organic soups, such as Amy’s brand, provide nutritious meal additions without a soon-coming expiration date. To save shopping time, purchase healthy pantry staples online. Organic Kingdom, True Foods Market and even Amazon provide useful options.

9. Keep healthy foods readily available. Fill an attractive jar with nuts or trail mix and a bowl with ready-to-eat fruit to keep in your kitchen. If you’re prone to salty food cravings, nuts, low-fat or air-popped popcorn, pickles and olives provide healthy alternatives to potato chips. For sweet teeth, turn to unsweetened dried fruit, fresh fruit, berry-filled yogurt or small dark chocolate bars. Less healthy treats are okay in moderation, but they shouldn’t take center stage.

Move over pretzels. How scrumptious do these look?!?

10. Shop with a list, then stock, cook and chop. Take a list for your one-pot-wonder or crock pot recipe, plus healthy staples, to the grocery store once per week—or whenever you can. Once you’re home, begin cooking a meal. While it bakes, stews or simmers, chop up fresh fruit and vegetables, or boil grains for those freezer options in #5. Turn on relaxing music and have fun with it. The couple of hours shopping plus food prep can take is a worthy investment that will save you time, stress and brain fog.

Lastly, ask for help as needed. None of us go it alone, in writing or life. Your loved ones want to support you and so do I. So, any questions? Challenges? Tips to add? Thoughts to share? My blog living room is yours, too. :)

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