Intuition: Tuning in Like Moms

In the spring of 2005, Rachel Schoger, a 29-year-old mother in Caldwell, Idaho, received devastating news from her doctor. After several miscarriages, she learned that her pregnancy was ectopic, and her baby had no chance of survival. If the baby wasn’t aborted, Schoger risked life-threatening complications.

After her first round on injections to terminate the pregnancy, Schoger sensed that something was wrong—not with her baby, but the diagnosis. She dreamed that the infant was screaming in pain inside of her, and demanded more tests.

Despite the thorough testing she’d endured, the next ultrasound showed a seemingly healthy infant in her womb. In January 2006, baby Seraphine was born. Though she required surgeries to correct deformities Shoger attributes to the injections, Seraphine is now a healthy six-year-old—largely due to her mother’s ability to sense and respond to her instincts. And as we’ve addressed before, instincts (those gut feelings) and intuition (relying on them), aren’t hype, but science.

For years, it was believed that women, particularly mothers, have stronger intuition than men. Although studies have proven otherwise—we actually come out pretty even—mothers have significant intuitive strengths, including faith in their abilities. In honor of Mother’s Day weekend, I say we celebrate them and follow suit. Are you in???

When it comes to mothers’ intuition, I see three major strengths. Moms tend to trump others in regards to motivation, awareness and action. They are expected to have strong instincts, trust them fiercely and act on them with gusto. Whether the chicken or egg came first here, I couldn’t tell ya. (No pun intended. ) Regardless, we can all learn a lot from mamas’ intuitive skill-sets.

Consider these examples:

#1: Imagine you’re a young, single woman heading into an upscale restaurant, alone. A man approaches and offers you a drink. The man is charming, yet something inside you tells you to say ‘no.’ But you don’t have other plans…and don’t want to hurt his feelings… And besides, you’d promised to get out and let loose once in a while. One drink can’t hurt. Can it?

#2: Now imagine you’re the same woman, walking into the same restaurant, holding an infant. The same man approaches. He offers you a drink, says he “adores children,” even has one of his own. When you hesitate he gives you a winning grin and suggests non-alcoholic drinks. Heck, a glass of water? You hold your child closer and give an affirmative, “NO,” then walk away.

See the difference?

A girlfriend of mine told me she never knew how much she could worry until she had kids. That “worry” is the same fear (“Gift of Fear”, as renowned safety expert Gavin de Becker would say) we all experience. Having kids heightens parents’ motivation to do and say whatever it takes to protect them, and, by by extension, themselves.

In previous posts, we discussed how fear and instincts can enhance personal safety and even save our lives. Trusting and acting upon instincts can also help in countless other ways, from making the right romantic and financial decisions to building successful careers. In order to follow our instincts, we have to sense them. Whether your instinctive habits are super-mom savvy or far from it, the following steps can help.

5 Ways to Make Your “Inner Voice” Loud and Clear

1. Keep a journal. I first read Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way about 10 years ago while living in Miami. I was amazed at what those daily “morning pages” —3 pages of free-writing—revealed. Letting our thoughts spill out on paper, or other creative mediums, helps de-clutter and clarify our needs, hunches and wants.

2. Pay attention. Simply deciding to stay more aware is often enough to make our instincts roar.

3. Take some quiet time. Whether you’re trying to make a decision, texting while watching TV and eating dinner probably won’t help. Whether you have five minutes or 60 to devote to daily solitude, do it. If you’re not a fan of sitting still, take a bath, go for a walk or think while doing something fairly mindless, like folding laundry.

4. Talk it out. Little beats supportive friends when it comes to exploring our instincts. If your friend or partner challenges your inclination and you feel defensive, you probablyl know exactly how you feel. If they agree, it can be affirming. Your loved ones might even recognize what your intuitive voice is saying before you do.

5. Sleep on it. Yeah, I’m not great at this either, you insomniacs. But seriously, our minds work through problems while we sleep. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken in the morning, knowing exactly what to do about a particular plot point or character in my novel after feeling torn or clueless the night prior.

In what area of your life do you most rely on your instincts? Have you responded to them lately? Any “mother’s intuition” stories to share? 

GOF Moments: Could You Save Your Life?

My grandmother was sweeter than honey, as cheerful as a rainbow and trusting—arguably to a fault. In her later years, she watched every episode of Divorce Court in great anticipation. “How sad…” she’d respond to the verdict. “I wanted them both to win!” She never gave up hope, particularly in others. But even Grandma had her limits…

One day during a cheery walk near her home, a car pulled up beside her. As the window rolled down, Grandma smiled, assuming it was a nice man from a nearby retirement community she recognized.

“Hop in,” the driver said. “I’ll give you a ride.”

Grandma entered the car, closed the door, fastened her seatbelt then looked at the driver—a total stranger. After a silent ride, during which she scarcely breathed, the car reached a stop sign. Grandma didn’t hesitate; she opened the door and fled.

That story, though gratefully anticlimactic, has popped into my head over the years, inspiring wonder. What was my sweet grandmother thinking? What was he thinking? Did more than lack of familiarity prompt her to flee? What if she hadn’t fled, or if the man stopped her? In my favorite imagined scenario my Swedish, Hindi-speaking grandmother lures the man to an Indian restaurant and kung fu-flings him into a samosa fryer. (Hi-YA!) In a way, that’s what she did. Grandma’s actions told the driver she wouldn’t succumb to his desires, whatever they were. She had no need to look back and probably never assumed someone’s identity again.

The one time I sought more details, Grandma chuckled and offered me snacks. Alas, I’ve come to my own conclusions.

Trust wasn’t my grandmother’s detriment, but her strength. So she was a bit lax on the awareness factor. But once inside that car, she trusted her instincts and reacted. Her quick decision at the stop sign could very well have saved her life.

If you read my Life-Saving Resolutions series, you know how much I value awareness and intuition in regards to personal safety, much due to Gavin de Becker’s revolutionary book, The Gift of Fear. When I use my fear as a tool—rather than talk myself out of it—and react responsibly, I tell friends I had a “GOF moment.” I’m amazed at how many we all experience. We may never how much listening and responding to our instincts helps us, and that’s perfectly okay by me. 

One of many things I love about The Gift of Fear is its emphasis on people who overcame the odds, escaping their attackers to survive. Because I find such stories ultra-inspiring, I’ve decided to launch a new series featuring GOF fear moments. We can learn a lot from others’ experiences. Take, for example, these posts:

Stacy Green: Thriller Thursday: Personal Tragedy While this story doesn’t have a happy ending, it reminds us how important gut instincts are. When we feel creeped out, it’s for a reason.

Kourtney Heinz: The Cost of Distracted Driving No phone call or text is worth taking our minds and eyes off the road. The woman featured survived, but barely. And she and her family can use our help.

Natalie Hartford: He Watched His Grandmother Die: Words from a Survivor This heart-wrenching post gives a face and name to an issue that continues to run rampant, though most of us know the risks. Knowing without reacting is like not knowing at all.

Moi: In case you missed it, my post Lifesaving Resolution #4: Trusting Your Instincts, details the time I was followed home from photo shoot in NYC. Numerous readers shared GOF moments in the comments—insightful stuff!

What sticky situations have you managed to get out of? What “stop sign” inspired a turn for the better? Any GOF moments to share? I’m all eyes/ears.

Fact or Fiction: 10 Diet Myths Debunked

Sorting fact from fiction in the nutrition world isn’t often easy. On the same store shelf, we’re likely to see books and magazines touting the latest “lifestyle plans,” diet tricks, super foods and diet “dos and don’ts”—all with contradicting messages. And while some of these publications are well-intended and contain some valuable information, many present mostly fiction, disguised as fact. Fortunately, many qualified health professionals—me included—care more about public wellness than financial gain or fame.

The following myths are extremely common and worth debunking:

Myth #1: Carbs are criminal—captivating, but cruel.

Fact: Carbohydrates are the body’s and brain’s main nutrient source—the protagonist’s BFF. Severely restricting carbohydrates poses a slew of health risks, including constipation, depressive moods, nutrient deficiencies, fatigue and more.

Tip: Rather than avoid carbs, choose mostly healthy sources, such as whole grains, fruits, vegetables and low-fat dairy products. (Moderate amounts of sweets or other treats is fine, and often beneficial.)

Myth #2: High-protein diets are weight-control magic wands.

Fact: High-protein diets are far from magical. They’ve been shown to increase the risk for kidney stones, gout, metabolic problems, long-term weight gain and cardiovascular disease. And while increasing your protein intake to 15 to 20 percent of your overall diet is important for building muscle, more than that hasn’t shown any benefits, according to the American Dietetic Association. There is one exception. A low-carb, high-protein diet (also called a ketogenic diet) has been shown to reduce seizures in some epileptic children.

Tip: Aim for meals containing a reasonable balance of complex carbs, lean protein and healthy fat. Particularly nutritious protein sources include fish, beans, lentils, yogurt and quinoa.

Myth #3: Gluten is a sadistic psychopath, harmful to everyone.

Fact: Gluten-free diets are essential for people with wheat allergies or celiac disease, which account for about 1 percent of the population. Avoiding gluten needlessly, on the other hand, which an estimated 23 percent of Americans are currently doing, can make way for nutrient deficiencies and weight gain.

Tip: Unless you have celiac disease, Tricia Thompson, registered dietitian and author of The Gluten-Free Nutrition Guide, recommends emphasizing whole grains and fortified cereals. If you have do have celiac disease, she suggests a gluten-free diet rich in folate sources, like leafy greens and fortified foods, replacing grain products with quinoa, buckwheat and amaranth and taking a daily multivitamin.

Myth # 4: Unless you’re a vampire, night-time noshing triggers fat gain.

Fact: Eating more calories than you burn routinely causes weight gain, regardless of when you eat them. Eating near bedtime, particularly large amounts, can disrupt restful sleep, however. This can indirectly lead to weight gain, because sleep deficits can slow our metabolism and increase our appetites. Eating spicy and fatty foods at night can cause heartburn, if you’re susceptible.

Tip: For restful sleep, leave at least 2 to 3 hours between your last meal and bedtime. For many people, a balanced snack, containing carbs and protein, enhance sleep. Useful examples include oatmeal made with low-fat milk, yogurt and fruit, a whole grain turkey sandwich, mixed nuts and a soymilk/fruit smoothie.

Myth #5: Certain foods have mystical fat-burning powers.

Fact: No foods burn fat. Activity does.

Tip: For improved weight control, amp up your fruit and vegetable intake and emphasize fiber-rich foods, such as beans, lentils, sweet potatoes, raspberries and whole grains. When you eat fatty or sugary foods, keep your portions modest. To burn more, move more.

Myth #6: Not skimping on calories works like kryptonite to Superman; less is best.

Fact: Our lives shouldn’t feel like The Hunger Games. We couldn’t eat, sleep, think, breath or move without calories. Overeating and under-eating can be equally damaging, contributing to a reduced metabolism, brittle bones, excessive body fat and cardiovascular problems over time. What matters is what we gain from our calories (energy and nutrients) and that we consume appropriate amounts.

Tip: Treat yourself like Superman/woman. In order to “fly,” we need enough quality fuel (in the form of calories) to feel energized and function well. If we overdo it excessively or often, we’ll get weighed down. With too little fuel, we’re paralyzed. (That is kryptonite-like.) Instead of loathing, fearing or avoiding calories, emphasize whole foods and aim for variety. Eating balanced meals and snacks and listening to our bodies’ “I’m hungry” and “I’m full”-cues promotes portion control and wellness.

Myth #7: Potatoes are practically poison.

Fact: Potatoes are nutritious. (And French fries aren’t potatoes.) They provide valuable amounts of B-vitamins, vitamin C, magnesium, potassium and fiber. They also provide tryptophan and complex carbs—promoters of feel-good brain chemicals and calmness. Skinless white potatoes have a high glycemic index, meaning they can cause blood sugar spikes. But even sugar-sensitive people, like people with diabetes, can enjoy spuds with ease by pairing them with other foods.

Tip: If you’re concerned about glycemic impact, eat potatoes—skin-on—as parts of balanced meals. Choose nutritious toppings and cooking methods most often and view fries as occasional treats (if you like ‘em). Baked and sweet potatoes, seasoned with olive oil and herbs, are loads healthier than french fries or bacon, cheese and sour cream stuffed taters.

Myth #8: Fruits are so sugary, they belong in the Gingerbread House—not our stomaches.

Fact: The natural sugars in fruits vary big time from table sugar and other added sweeteners. Whole fruits promote blood sugar control—not the opposite. Fruit also provides valuable sources of water, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and fiber. (Sheesh!)

Tip: Incorporating fruits and/or vegetables into most of your meals is one of the healthiest moves most people can make. To meet your basic antioxidant needs, aim for at least 2 cups of fruit and 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. But, the more the better. Research shows that eating 7-plus collective daily servings guards against heart disease, cancer and early death. So yes. Eat more produce. Please.

Myth #9: Swanky devils wear prada—and follow low-fat diets.

Fact: Our diets should contain moderate amounts of fat, or about 30 percent of our total calories. Our bodies rely on fat for tissue repair, energy and absorption of fat-soluble nutrients (vitamins A, D, E and K). Eating too little fat can cause brittle nails and hair, skin problems, mood swings, fatigue and nutrient deficiencies.

Tip: Incorporate moderate amounts of fat—mainly from healthy sources—into your meals and snacks. Since fat grams are denser than carbs and protein, small-ish portions suffice. Drizzle your veggies with olive oil, for example, or snack on 1/3 cup of mixed nuts or seeds. Other healthy sources include nut butters, fatty fish, canola oil and avocados.

Myth #10: Dietary supplements are so The Jetsons-esque.

Fact: As much fun as the futuristic cartoon made it look, no pill can fulfill a food, meal or day’s worth of nourishment in one fell swoop. Supplements are meant to supplement, not replace food. And taken improperly, they can cause a broad range of side effects and health risks. When we get our vitamins and minerals from foods, we get the whole healthy package, minus the risks associated with supplements.

Tip: Look to food first and supplement—with caution—when necessary.

So what do you think? Were any of your beliefs debunked? Any burning questions?

Saying ‘No’ — A Successful Writer’s Must

There’s no one way to build a successful writing career, but there are essential ingredients. One of the most important, I believe, boils down to two little words: saying no. Think about it. How can we produce our best quality work and continue growing, day after day, year after year, if we’re bogged down by needless obligations?

If I sound harsh, don’t worry; becoming selfish writing-only ghouls isn’t the goal. And supporting others and taking time away from writing are invaluable. But there’s a big difference between saying ‘yes’ to every request for a favor, lunch date and job offer, tending to others instead of our craft and careers, and obliging when it matters most. Each time we say ‘no’ to obligations that detract from our success, we strengthen our commitment to our work and step further into our dreams. While it’s not always easy, it’s worth it. And it does get easier along the way.

Seven Ways to Say ‘No’ With Greater Ease

1. Swap guilt for gusto. It’s not easy to tell your pal you can’t meet for lunch or walk her ferret. But if doing so takes away from your writing, is it worth it—even to your friend? If she asked you if you could “please walk Snoopy instead of progress as an author,” declining would be easier. So view it that way. Once you’ve made your decision, make the most of that preserved time. Productivity breeds gusto and kicks guilt in the keister.

2. Feel the twinge. When someone asks you to take time away from writing, listen to your gut. As some of you may recall, ‘saying no’ played a big role in divorcing my acting career. The more auditions and offers I turned down, the more apparent the right decisions became. Now every time a question sounds, I feel the twinge—a no-longer-subtle stir inside that tells me exactly how I feel. Awareness and practice strengthen our ‘saying no’ muscle. So even if you can’t yet abide by it yet, start honing in on the twinge.

3. When in doubt, take time out. When we’re put on the spot, we are much more likely to yelp, “Sure! Anything!”… on the outside. When your palms sweat in the face of a time-sucking request, tell the person you need to think about it. Or call them later. Or say “hang on!” and rush away to your private cave. Whatever it takes to give yourself that privacy, which often brings clarity, do it.

4. Weigh your options. How much time and energy would fulfilling the request take? What are the consequences of committing versus declining? Is there a way to fulfill the request and still get your work done? How much of your desire to commit stems from guilt or perceived obligation, and how much from genuine desire? How important is the task to the asker? Looking at a situation from all angles can help clarify our decisions.

5. Speak your passions. Talking about our creative goals, progress and priorities gives them breath and deeper meaning. When we say “I’m now prioritizing my writing,” “I am a writer,” or “I’m stoked about my loaded work day” (referring to writing), we’re more likely to believe ourselves and take our work seriously. Sharing our priorities with others also helps keep us accountable.

6. Sleep on it. Ever wake up with an epiphany about your WIP? I know I have. Our brains work through questions and conflicts during sleep. Sometimes the best way to recognize the best decision involves catching those zzzs. Try not to stress too much just before bed, however. Not sleeping enough or well can have the opposite effect. For useful information on sleeping better, check out MayoClinic.com’s Sleep Tips.

7. Hold yourself responsible. No one can make us take on endless favors, tasks and responsibilities. Blaming the friend who calls or the ferret who needed sunshine won’t do anything but increase our grumpiness. And probably other people’s. And maybe the ferret’s. We make our own choices, so choose your goals and dreams. Go after them like the protagonist in your novel, and never, ever back down. You don’t need anyone’s permission but your own.

Do you overload your plate with non-writing commitments? Have you mastered your ‘saying no’ capabilities? Any tips to add or challenges to share? I’d love to hear your brilliant thoughts.

Healthy Snack Attack

Have you ever been so hungry you morphed into an evil witch? Rather than cautious, the driver ahead of you seems irritating-tortoise-like slow. No—criminal. And if she doesn’t get her act together soon, you might provide a subtle NUDGE. Or worse…

Don’t worry. If you answered ‘yes,’ you’re not alone. More likely, you’re normal. Healthy snack habits can not only prevent mood mayhem, but help keep our brains sharp and energy high between meals. Choosing mostly whole foods, like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds, also boosts our overall nutrient intake and physical health. (Sign me up, right???) Whether you’re a veteran healthy eater or taking initial baby steps, exploring a variety of nutritious snacks can go a long way toward fulfilling your physical and emotional appetites.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Yogurt and berry parfait
• Fresh fruit and/or veggie smoothies
• Air-popped popcorn, seasoned with natural herbs
• Whole grain pita chips with hummus
• Fresh fruit salad with yogurt or nuts
• Mixed nuts—roasted or raw
• Whole grain toast topped with almond butter and banana slices
• Leftover whole grain/veggie pizza
• Yogurt, topped with granola, ground flaxseeds or trail mix
• Mini-portion of veggie chili or lentil soup
• Snap-peas and carrot sticks with dip
• Fresh fruit, veggie and cheese (or tofu) plate
• Whole grain crackers topped with hummus and tomato slices
• Apple and banana slices topped with almond or peanut butter
• Natural PBJ on whole grain bread, English muffin or tortilla
• Kale chips with salsa or hummus
• Oatmeal raisin cookie served with low-fat milk (any variety)
• Oatmeal made with un-sweetened cocoa, cinnamon, raisins and a touch of stevia or pure maple syrup

Baked sweet potato “fries”: Slice a sweet potato into rounds or wedges. Place on a pan, coated with olive oil spray. Top with spray and desired seasoning, then bake at 350 degrees F for 10 minutes, or until golden brown.

Cucumber boats: Slice a cucumber lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. Fill each “boat” with healthy tuna or chicken salad.

Kale smoothie: Combine 8 oz milk of choice, 1 banana, 1 cup chopped kale, 1 tbsp ground flaxseed, 1/2 cup fresh or frozen berries and a tsp of pure maple syrup in a blender. Blend until smooth, then serve over ice.

Love cooking? Try these tasty, nutritious recipes:
MayoClinic.com: Muesli Breakfast Bars
EatBetterAmerica: Whole Grain Snack Mix
Mary Elizabeth Cohen: Tortilla Wrap Chicken Salad
EatingWell magazine: Quick and Healthy Smoothie Recipes and Tips
Sally’s Baking Addiction: Apricot Pecan Granola Bars (Vegan) 

And remember—your snack choices need not always be healthy. To prevent blood sugar imbalances associated with sugary and refined grain products, like candy, pretzels and enriched bagels, pair them with protein or fiber-rich foods. In either case, moderation and pleasure are important ingredients of all diets, IMHO.

Do you consider yourself a healthy snacker? What’s your favorite? Any tips or challenges to share? I love hearing from you.

In Support of GM Food Labels

Wanna hear something ironic? I’ll tell you anyway. I was putting the final touches on a post about controversial blog topics when I realized that a petition regarding a highly controversial issue—genetically modified foods—is about to wrap up. And once again, I can’t keep my mouth shut  feel compelled to speak up.

The GM food debate is raging, with intriguing arguments on both sides. The World Health Organization defines GM foods as “organisms in which the genetic material (DNA) has been altered in a way that does not occur naturally.” It’s done for numerous reasons, including supply and demand, financial gain and, believe or not, health. Corn, cotton and soy are the current biggies; they’ve been genetically modified since the mid-90s to make a variety of foods and products, including high-fructose corn syrup and loads of other processed foods.

Supporters of GM foods believe they can benefit consumers by creating more nutritious, abundant crops and plants more resistant to disease. Opponents fear various health risks, including allergic reactions and resistance to antibiotics. Though we’re lacking evidence that GM foods pose health risks—at least so far—and some research points to benefits, I believe that we should have the right to choose whether or not our foods have been genetically altered. (So do most Americans, according to ABC News.)

Do you prefer to know what you’re eating?

GE food labels are required by many countries worldwide, including 15 European countries, China, Japan and Russia. If you feel that the U.S. should follow suit, please visit the Center for Food and sign the petition by Tuesday, March 27th. And please pass it on.

Regardless of the outcome of the labeling law, here are some ways to help ensure that your foods are nutrient-rich and contain little, if any, genetically modified ingredients:

1. Buy organic. Yes, I know it’s pricey. But if you can swing it, I believe it’s worth it. To save money, opt for seasonal and frozen items, cook rather than dine out more often and… see #2.

2. Shop at your local farmers market. Not only will you save money, most likely, you’ll support your local farms. You may also gain appreciation for food by connecting with the growers. We don’t think enough about where our food comes from, IMHO.

3. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Even non-organic produce is a great option as far as genetic engineering goes. (So far attempts at altering potatoes and tomatoes both flopped.) To save money, stock up on frozen produce. Because frozen fruits and veggies are flash frozen at their nutritional prime, they are at least as nutritious as fresh produce that’s been around for days or weeks.

4. Cut back on meat and/or choose grass-fed beef. Many other cows consume genetically modified corn. As Michael Pollan pointed out in an NPR interview, many of the GM foods we consume, come to use indirectly—through animals that eat them. And by eating less animal protein, we have more room our diets and funds in our banks for those fabulous plants. Super nutritious plant protein sources include beans, lentils, nuts, seeds and whole grains. Opting for fish instead of meat is another great option.

5. Emphasize whole foods. Most GM foods consumed in the U.S. come in the form of processed foods. By filling our grocery carts, kitchens and plates with primarily whole foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fish, nuts, legumes and seeds, we eat fewer GM ingredients and reap a broad range additional benefits, from improved cardiovascular health and weight control to better sleep quality, energy and moods.

For more information, check out these fantastic links:
U.S. Health News: 10 Ways to Save Money on Organic Food
New York Times: Michael Pollan Answers Readers’ Questions
One Green Generation: Gardening 101: My Top 12 Easy Vegetables to Grow From Seed
MayoClinic.com: Organic Foods: Are They Safer? More Nutritious? 

What are your thoughts on GM foods? When given a choice, do you opt for organic? What steps do you take to ensure that your diet is nutritious and delicious? I love hearing your thoughts.

Gluten-Free Diets: Useful Tools or Harmful Trend?

“Claims [about gluten-free diets] seem to increase daily, with no adequate scientific support to back them up. This clamor has increased and moved from the Internet to the popular press, where gluten has become the new diet villain.” — Celiac researchers Antonio Di Sabatino, MD, and Gino Roberto Corazza, MD, Annals of Internal Medicine

If you avoid gluten, you are far from alone. Research shows that about 25 percent of Americans avoid gluten and only 10 percent of people following gluten-free diets have a physiological need. In 2010, Americans spent $2.64 billion on gluten-free prepared foods. And gluten-free package claims have more than doubled since 2006. So it comes as no surprise that many health experts and food manufacturers are calling gluten-free diets the low-carb diet trend of the 21st century.

Any time we make a dramatic shift in our diets, we open ourselves up to potential risks and benefits. And since many gluten-free dieters have fallen pray to the mad marketing machine known as the diet industry—and we all know the risks dieting can pose—I couldn’t keep my mouth shut resist highlighting some vital information. Before making the decision to avoid gluten, unless you’ve been medically advised to do so, I feel there are several questions worth answering.

What is gluten?
Gluten is a protein that occurs naturally in grains, including wheat, barley and rye. It’s also prevalent in grain-based foods, like breads, cereals, crackers, cookies and cakes, and in less obvious foods and products, like soy sauce, meat marinades, malt vinegar and certain dietary supplements.

When does it cause problems?
While most people digest gluten with ease, your immune system sees it as toxic if you have celiac disease—an inherited autoimmune disorder that damages the small intestine lining and disrupts nutrient absorption. It affects less than 1 percent of the population, according to the University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center, tends to run in families and can coexist with other diseases, like diabetes. Symptoms may include severe abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, anemia, joint pain, delayed growth (in children), skin rashes and unintentional weight loss. Treatment involves lifelong adherence to a strict gluten-free diet.

Gluten sources also cause serious problems if you have a wheat allergy, which also triggers immune system reactions. Wheat is one of the eight most common diagnosed food allergies, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center, which collectively affect about 2 percent of adults and 8 percent of children.

If you have celiac disease or a wheat allergy, a gluten-free diet is vital.

You can also have a gluten sensitivity, or “celiac lite.” In this case, your body reacts negatively to gluten, without any autoimmune reaction. Symptoms are similar to celiac disease, but milder: diarrhea, bloating, indigestion, fatigue and abdominal cramping.

Gluten sensitivity is tougher to pinpoint because many people claim to react adversely to gluten, but show no diagnosable symptoms. This doesn’t mean that the condition isn’t legitimate. Some thorough investigation, however, can help ensure that your nutritional needs are met and save you the time, money and stress that often accompanies gluten restriction.

Here are some examples of a misdiagnosed/misperceived gluten sensitivity:

• You feel better after cutting gluten solely because you end up eating fewer processed foods.
• Your “carb sensitivity” is actually a case of poor blood sugar control. (Carb sensitivity isn’t an actual condition; you can be sugar or insulin sensitive, but we all need more carbohydrates than any other macronutrient.)
• The placebo effect: Believing we are doing something healthy for our bodies can go along way toward feeling better and vice versa; negative beliefs about foods can trigger physical symptoms. Put another way, fearing gluten can cause sensitivity symptoms.
• You experience less gas and hunger after switching to a high-protein, low-carb gluten-free diet not because of you’ve eliminated gluten, but because starchy foods naturally cause gas during digestion—a normal/good thing—and because protein-rich foods are less likely to cause blood sugar spikes than, say, sugary sweets and breads.
• You feel gassy and bloated after reintroducing grains into a grain-free or low-carb diet. This is not generally proof that your body is intolerant to gluten or grains. More often it’s a sign that you’ve been lacking fiber-rich, starchy foods. (To avoid this, gradually reintroduce grains and other fiber-rich foods. In healthy individuals, the digestive system readjusts.)
• You follow the diet as a means of restricting your food intake, establishing a sense of control, as a coping mechanism for non-diet-related stress and/or to lose weight. These factors often reflect disordered eating: a range of disordered eating thoughts or behaviors not affiliated with a full-fledged eating disorder, like anorexia or bulimia. Though less life-threatening than eating disorders, it’s no way to live and no less worthy of addressing.

What are the benefits of a gluten-free diet?

• If you are legitimately intolerant or sensitive to gluten, a gluten-free diet relieves most or all of your symptoms, leading to a comfier life. The diet that seems restrictive to many, brings freedom.
• While the jury is still out and research mixed, some experts believe that avoiding gluten may benefit children with autism and other brain-related disorders.
• If a GF diet heightens leads you to eat more nutritious foods in better balance, you’ll reap the benefits of most healthy diets: strong immune, brain and digestive function, improved energy, moods and sleep quality, healthy weight control and more.

What are the gluten-free diet risks?

• Many people avoiding gluten avoid whole grains and other nutritious foods. This is a major reason many gluten-free diets often lack iron, calcium, B-vitamins (thiamin, riboflavin, niacin and folate) and fiber. Many studies support this. Research published by the Journal of Pediatric Gastroenterology and Nutrition, for example, showed that gluten-free diets worsened nutrient deficiencies in teens with and without celiac disease. Nutrient deficiencies* can cause a slew of complications, such as fatigue, muscle weakness, headaches, dizziness, weak bones, depressive moods, sleep problems, foggy thinking, dry skin, brittle hair and digestive problems.
• If you replace gluten-containing foods with gluten-free substitutes, like GF breads, cakes, flours, cereals, chips and pancakes, you may spend a lot of money on products that are equally or less nutritious than the original. You may also find yourself buying and eating more chips, cakes and breads than you used to, simply because the “gluten-free” label leads you to believe it’s healthier. (Remember the fat-free days? Fat-free ice cream can seem so much healthier. It’s actually higher in sugar than conventional ice cream and more likely to trigger overeating.)
• If your GF diet is also low in carbohydrates, you hold heightened risks for constipation, gallstones, kidney stones, bad breath, headaches, reduced metabolism, weight gain and ketoacidosis—a dangerous condition in which your body uses fat as energy.
• Deprivation, frustration and surrender. A GF diet can be difficult to follow, particularly if many of your staple or favorite foods are eliminated and you lack the support of a qualified professional. You may feel deprived and frustrated and fall of the proverbial wagon, all of which increases your risk of binge eating, weight gain, poor body image, increased stress and depression, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.

*Dietary supplements are a valuable option if you struggle with nutrient malabsorption, which is common with celiac disease, or can’t eat a healthy diet for other reasons. Otherwise, whole foods are your best bet.

So are gluten-free diets useful or a harmful trend? Both. I believe that GF-diets are a saving grace to people with a medical need and a potentially harmful—or at least needless—trend for others.

If you believe you have a gluten sensitivity, I recommend seeking guidance from a qualified health care professional, such as your physician, dietitian or gastroenterologist, who can conduct medical tests and guide you through an elimination diet, as needed.

I want you all to feel and be as healthy as possible while getting not only nutrients, but joy, from your food. Whether you avoid gluten or not, the following foods can help fill in the nutrient gaps common in GF lifestyles:

Calcium: Canned salmon, tuna and sardines, tofu, yogurt, fortified milk (rice, soy, cow’s, almond), kefir, kale, almonds
B-vitamins:  Fish, seafood, GF fortified corn/rice/oat cereals, eggs, lean meats, enriched long-grain rice, enriched GF breads and tortillas
Iron: Fish, seafood, lean meats, beans, lentils, beans, tofu
Fiber: Beans, lentils, chickpeas, green peas, sweet potatoes, skin-on baked potatoes, kale, broccoli, raspberries, popcorn, GF oatmeal, flaxseeds, prunes, pears

For more information, check out these fantastic resources:
Forbes Magazine: What We’re (Not) Eating: A Potential Danger of Gluten-Free
Today’s Dietitian: Putting the Healthy into Gluten-Free
MayoClinic.com: Food Sensitivity Vs. Intolerance: What’s the Difference?
EatingWell.com: Healthy Gluten-Free Lunch Recipes

Do you avoid gluten? What benefits or challenges have you faced? Do you see gluten-free diet popularity as a trend or progression in the nutritional world? I welcome your thoughts!

Why ‘Carb’ is Not a Cuss Word

“I hate you! You make me feel bad about myself! You’re such a….carb!”

If the word ‘carb’ carries a negative connotation for you, drawing up anxiety, frustration or shame, you’re not alone. Large-scale consumer research shows that roughly 25% of Americans are currently dieting. And low-carb, high-protein diets are among the most popular.

Before I explain why carbohydrates play a hugely important role in our diets, let’s examine why we’ve grown to detest the marvelous macronutrients in the first place:

1. Processed carbohydrate-rich foods, like cakes, cookies, candy, white bread and chips, are easy to overeat. (And trust me, commercial food makers know this.) Many are also low in vitamins, minerals, protein and fiber.

2. Overeating any food routinely causes the body to store excess energy as fat. So just as the dieting industry advised us to cut fat from our high-fat diets in the 90s, it advises us to cut carbs from our high-calorie, high-carb diets for weight control nowadays. Americans spend over $45 billion dollars on dieting each year. So it’s no surprise that messages of “low-carb” are widespread throughout the media.

Think about it. Why would an industry that profits on our inability to reach or maintain a healthy body weight promote a technique that works long-term? Hmm…

Low-Carb Diet Risks
Low-carb diets often trigger initial weight loss, in the form of water weight—not fat loss, or as a result of consuming fewer calories. Like other diets, low-carb diets have an extremely low long-term success rate. More often, they lead to weight gain, binge eating behaviors, and a significantly increased risk for obesity and obesity-related health problems, including high cholesterol, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, certain forms of cancer and heart disease.

Low-carb diets are typically high in protein and fat. Eating excessive amounts of protein or fat needs leads to weight gain. High-protein, low-carb diets also tend to lack fiber, which increases your risk for constipation, diverticulitis and other digestive problems.

Limiting carbs interferes with brain function. This is why psychologists have coined the term “Atkins attitude,” which refers to increased anger, frustration and depression among low-carb dieters, according to Judith Wurtman, the director of the Women’s Health Program at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Carbohydrates are the body’s and brain’s main fuel source. We need sufficient amounts to exercise, build and use muscles, think properly and sleep well. 

Carbs and the Brain
After we eat carbohydrates, they enter our bloodstream in the form of glucose. Because the brain doesn’t store glucose, it requires a steady supply from food. Once in the brain, glucose allows the brain to produce feel-good chemicals, like serotonin, which promotes positive moods. Carbohydrates also enhance memory skills…

In a study conducted at the University of Toronto, senior citizens were given a meal of cereal, milk and fruit juice for breakfast. Twenty minutes later, they showed significantly better memory function compared to senior citizens who did not consume the carbohydrate-rich meal.

Carbs and Muscles
Contrary to popular belief, amping up our protein intake and skimping on carbs does not facilitate muscle growth or toning. Our muscles rely on glycogen for fuel—a form of sugar that derives from carbohydrates. While building muscle, our protein needs bump up to 15 to 20 percent of our diets, according to the American Dietetic Association. No benefits have been shown by consuming more. Avoiding carbs, on the other hand, promotes early workout fatigue and lean tissue loss.

Healthy Carbs and Weight Control
Nutritious carbohydrate sources, such as whole grains, fruits and vegetables, are top sources of fiber. Fiber promotes fullness between meals and guards against obesity-related health risks. So it’s no surprise that many studies have linked diets rich in whole grains, fruits and vegetables with positive, lasting weight control.

Simple Ways to Get the Most From Carbs

Choose whole over processed most of the time. For optimum health, the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans—a report based on loads of research and dietary expert insight, recommends eating at least three 1-oz servings of whole grains daily and making sure that at least half of your starches consist of whole grains.

Color your plates. (No, not with M&Ms…) Unlike added sugars, sugars that occur naturally in fruits, vegetables and other whole foods have a beneficial impact on blood sugar levels and overall health. To meet your basic vitamin and mineral needs, the ADA recommends eating at least 2 cups of fruit and 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. For even more benefits, like a lowered risk for chronic disease, aim for 9+ collective servings.

Balance your plates. One super easy way to eat a great balance of nutrients is the “plate method.” Fill half of your plate with fruits and/or veggies, one-quarter with a lean protein source, like beans, fish or yogurt, and one-quarter with a complex starch, like whole grain bread, pasta or rice. Then add a bit of healthy fat. Healthy fat sources include olive oil, canola oil, nuts, seeds, avocados and fatty fish.

Enjoy treats in moderation. Cutting out all refined foods works for some people. But if you adore brownies, french fries, white bread or other low-nutrient foods, incorporating moderate amounts into your diet can stave off feelings of deprivation. To take your treat foods a nutritious step further, prepare them with whole ingredients. Make whole grain cookies and breads. Top your favorite ice cream with fresh berries. Or swap French fries out for baked sweet potatoes “fries.”

Some of my favorite, super-nutritious carbohydrate sources:
Fresh and frozen fruit
Fresh and frozen vegetables
Brown rice
Wild rice
Sweet potatoes, yams and squash
Beans and lentils
100% whole grain breads and tortillas (such as Ezekial brand)
Air-popped popcorn, seasoned with natural herbs
Oatmeal cookies with raisins or dark chocolate chips
100% whole grain cereals (such as Kashi)
Whole grain pasta (whole wheat, brown rice or spelt)
Old-fashioned or steel-cut oatmeal
Whole grain veggie pizza
Fruit-topped whole grain pancakes
Greek or organic/all-natural yogurt
Dark chocolate

So spill it! Are carbs your friends or enemies? What are you favorite sources? Any goals I can support you toward? I can’t wait to hear from you.

Beautiful Breakups: What the Revision Process Can Teach Us

The other day two things happened that seemed so connected, I had to share them. Within the same hour, I learned that a close friend is going through a significant breakup and received an ultra-thoughtful card from another friend I adore. Not seeing the link? Hang with me.

When I called the first friend, I was amazed at the calm confidence in her voice. She barely had to utter three sentences for me to know that she was definitely breaking UP, not down. I read the card’s message straight to her: “Bold is beautiful…and so are you.” Now do you see???

When managed properly, I believe that breakups can serve as catalysts for the most empowering, fulfilling, growth-filled and joyous experiences of our lives. Think about it. We don’t say we’re breaking down with someone. Sure, we may experience a breakdown before or during, but the right partings of ways life us up…eventually.

While I haven’t experienced a romantic breakup since I met my husband six years ago, I  have undergone other types. I’ve “broken up” with my acting career, a close girlfriend and, most recently, a sweet elderly woman my agent suggested I ex-nay from my book. None of these breakups were easy, but there was no “dumping” involved. And much like the romantic breakups I’ve endured, I learned and grew from each one.

Yesterday, I finished a major novel revision. With my friend’s bold and beautiful breakup in mind, I’ve been struck by the parallels between revising our personal lives and revising creative work. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned from both processes:

What the Revision Process Can Teach Us About Relationships—And Vice Versa

1. Listen to your instincts. If your novel begs to be written in a particular style, genre or tense, do it—regardless of what seems practical marketing wise. If we try to please everyone but ignore our gut feelings, our story is likely to fall flat. Same for relationships. And if after meeting a guy you, say, sleep with mace in your hand? Don’t date him. Not that I’ve done that. Or anything.

2. Consider your motivation. If you feel confused as to who or what to take out, add to or leave in your novel, consider why you wrote it in the first place. Just as motivating factors fuel our characters’ actions, they fuel our composition. Though my draft has changed significantly, the story I wished to tell from day one hasn’t. If you’re unsure whether to stay in a relationship, ask yourself why you joined it in the first place and why you might stay or leave. Love, like, family and happiness are great reasons to work things out. Loneliness, fear and codependency, not so much.

3. If a character or scene doesn’t enhance your story, cut it. Not only does this make sense from a practical standpoint, keeping the train moving in the right direction and preventing reader boredom, it leaves room in the story for characters and scenes that do enhance it. I’ve found the same to be true with relationships. The busier we become, the more difficult it is to nurture plentiful close friendships. Choose wisely and nurture those who mean the most and bring the most to you. For the others, heck. We have Facebook.

4. Become a plantser: plotter + pantser. I am by nature a seat-of-the-pants-er. But the revision process has taught me the value of planning head. With no plan, we run the risk of writing ourselves off the deep end, in way too many directions and into a tangle of confusion. If we don’t allow for wiggle room, however, we may short ourselves of fabulous characters, scenes and plot twists. In regards to relationships, don’t stay in one solely because it was part of your plan or for fear of the unknown that follows. And don’t choose your mate based on your “outline” of criteria. He or she may not look anything like that page your tore out of GQ or Glamour, or have the job, interests or personality you expect.

5. Don’t compromise your non-negotiables. There was an important word in my first chapter I was asked to change. I considered it, pictured it, even tried typing other options. But it hurt. A lot. So my original choice stayed put. From what I’ve seen, most agents, publishers, editors and readers leave the details and final decisions largely up to you. As the talented author and editor Mike Sirota once told me, “You are the goddess of your book.” We are also the gods/goddesses of our lives. Compromising our personal goals, dreams or values for the sake of another seldom provokes happiness.

For more on romance and revising, check out these fantastic links:
Girls with Pens: The Business of Writing with James Scott Bell 
Bartlette’s Integrated Health Journal: The Healing Power of Love
Mike Sirota: Romantic Horror: An Oxymoron?
Ingrid Shaffenburg: When Someone Shows You Who They Are
Natalie Hartford: A Palooza of Romance: Hubby’s Top 5
Psychology Today: Ten Tips to Survive a Breakup 

What have you learned from breakups—romantic or otherwise? Any of the above lessons resonate with you? I always love hearing from you.

The Menstrual Magnifying Glass: Embracing the Cycle of Creativity

The other day something that normally would’ve had me thinking, “Bummer… That’s sad,” had me sobbing an ocean. That same day, my dog looked even cuter, my husband even hotter and the distracted cell-phone-talking driver ahead of me EVEN…MORE… ANNOYING!!! #$*&#$#$&*… than usual. (Whew! That felt good. ) Since then, I’ve had vivid dreams, a major epiphany about my novel-in-progress and woke yesterday feeling pretty darn, dare I say, unconquerable. Am I crazy?!? Nope. More like fabulously female.

I’ve long seen PMS as a type of magnifying glass. Rather than create problems or trigger unfounded feelings, it highlights them. Okay, so highlight may be putting it mildly… Regardless, it can serve as a tool—if we let it.

Positive Framing & PMS
A study published by the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing showed that women’s attitudes play a significant role in PMS symptoms and our ability to manage them. If we view PMS as a horrible, embarrassing illness (which it’s not), we’re more likely to experience severe physical and emotional symptoms. Look at the ordeal in a healthier light and you may get a heap load of benefits.

Menstrual Cycle Perks
In addition to the negative symptoms related to menstruation, which I’m guessing need no explanation, we can experience positive sensations, according to the Feminist Women’s Health Center, such as:

• A greater connection to nature
• Creative energy
• Increased sex drive and orgasms
• More intense orgasms
• A sense of relieve, release, euphoria and invigoration
• Increased empathy and connectedness with others

The Creativity Cycle
Dr. Christine Northrup, a ob-gyn and renowned author of The Wisdom of Menopause and other best-selling books, says that the first half of our menstrual cycle is a “very good time to initiate new projects.” And when ovulation strikes, we are at our creative peak.

Hormonal changes during the weeks after ovulation, says Northrup, make for a useful evaluative and reflective time in our lives. By looking back on what we’ve accomplished, created or faced, and pondering criticism, frustrations and obstacles, we can see what needs adjusting and begin addressing them.

Once PMS rears it’s complex but natural head, we may experience boosted testosterone levels and feel empowered or moved to do things we’ve not done before. This can be awesome or awful, depending on how we utilize it. We may have the strength and gusto to break up with Mr. Wrong, the determination to set aside others’ demands so to finish a creative work or the courage to stand up for something we feel strongly is right. Or…we may scream and cry at a loved one instead of speaking gently, toss our work-in-progress (with great potential) in the trash out of despair or react to criticism from a trusted professional or friend with our latest kick-boxing move. The moral of this story? Listen to your urges, but think before you act.

To turn menstrual “madness” into marvelousness, consider the following:

1. Cry. Studies have shown that tears known as “emotional tears” contain hormones. Releasing them is one way to improve hormonal balance in the body.

2. Get ample z’s. Our bodies work hard in preparation of and during menstruation. Allowing yourself extra sleep time can also help alleviate stress and stock up on those vivid dreams.

3. Eat well. Eating balanced meals and snacks containing primarily whole foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fish, legumes, nuts and seeds, guards against nutrient deficiencies and promotes positive blood sugar levels, energy and moods. For more information, read my LIVESTRONG.com article: PMS SOS! Can Diet Help?

4. Respect your cravings. Our bodies need more calories during PMS. Eating too little, skimping on nutritious food and avoiding foods we crave can make many menstrual symptoms worse. Crave chocolate? Have some. Chocolate contains natural plant chemicals that can help balance those hormones.

5. Exercise. Physical activity helps minimize stress, boosts feel-good hormones, reduces bloating and promotes creativity. For best results, MayoClinic.com recommends aiming for at least 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity, such as biking, swimming, aerobics or hiking, most days of the week.

6. Express yourself. I can’t tell you how many deeply emotional songs, stories and chapters I’ve written, much thanks to premenstrual mood swings. Creative expression is a great way to manage and maximize the benefits of PMS and menstruation.

7. Remind yourself of the perks. When we realize that menstrual symptoms are not only natural but beneficial to our creativity and other life factors, we become better able to access the benefits and feel less brought down by the challenges.

For some awesome inspiration, check out these links:
75 Ways Women Are Sexy, by Marcia Richards
Do You Believe in Second Chances? by Marcy Kennedy
Love Your Failures, by Ingrid Schaffenburg
Where Do We Live—For the Story, by Debra Kristi
When Life Gives You Lemons, by Karen McFarland

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts. What has your menstrual magnifying glass taught you? If you don’t menstruate, how do you deal with support loved ones who do? Any challenges, successes or hilarity to share? I’m all eyes/ears!